all the while counting sheep...

Back for 10 days: How Was Nigeria?

2008-12-06T00:30:00.000-08:00

How are you supposed to respond to that question. People keep asking me as if I should have figured it all out, as if there was a word to describe the past three months in a way that will allow them to understand what it was like. But the truth is there isn’t. At least not yet.

I am having a very difficult time processing this whole experience. Back at home I have not fallen in to or out of any sort of routine--I’m just here. I have had the blessing of catching up with friends, spending time with family, making my own meals, getting enough sleep without waking up in the middle of the night. But there is still something that is gripping my soul. Something I can’t explain. I feel stretched between two opposite worlds--stuck inbetween. Life in Jos: a life of no deadlines, welcoming faces, unpredictable electricity, and trying to fit in. Life in Fresno: a life of schedules, phone conversations, shopping malls, and trying to fit in. I so desire to be a part of both, and yet I so desire to get away from both. Why can’t I make up my mind? Why do I feel so at home and yet so foreign in both of these lands?

How am I supposed to feel, God? What am I supposed to do?

Jos just went through a very turbulent past few days after local elections brought out the worst in people. After a time of bloodshed, arson, and hateful words Biana has informed me that things are slowly going back to normal. People I know were affected by this bi-partisan calamity (thankfully I have not heard of any of my friends losing their lives over this madness) and because of that so was I. I grieve for my city from afar; so glad to not be there endangering my own safety and the lives of those around me by being such an easy target, yet so wishing I was there to be of some sort of comfort, truly experiencing the Nigeria I have grown to love. Someday there will be peace in Jos. I pray that the someday is sooner than we could ever think possible,

Fresno has its own issues. My fellow students are so burnt out of FPU. No one seems to be glad about being there. Sure it is finals time and papers drive people to the brink of disaster but there seems to be an extra sigh and shrug when our campus is brought up in conversation. Not to mention the jobs we all try to keep up with to pay for these ten-page assignments and due dates. The economy is bad yet I still see the Apple Store filled with customers purchasing hundred-dollar computer accessories and Urban Outfitters selling overpriced beanies to girls who want to look cute this winter. There is nothing wrong with technology or fashion, but is there something wrong with our spending? With our idea that buying things and acquiring the newest and latest will somehow make our lives better?

Have I become overly cynical? Too critical or judgmental? Depressed? Perhaps I have just been given something rare: the opportunity to see both sides.

My dear friend told me today that I have entered the state of grieving, whether I want to accept it or not, a state of mind that all who have followed God’s will and opened themselves up to the realities of life will endure. I know that joy comes in the morning. Through this all I will be able to forever hold on to the beauty and happiness and greatness that is our God and this world he has created.

I can’t wait.

Day 73: This Is It. The Place Where It Will All Begin.

2008-11-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

I love having a day to sleep in, but it seems that every week I wake up the same time on Saturday that I would have on Tuesday or Thursday. This particular time I woke up to Dr. Chris’ voice at the front door telling Biana some story with the word “arrested” and “bail”. I heard a bit of scurrying around and both voices left after a couple of minutes. Obviously it was going to be impossible to fall back asleep so I decided to make myself useful and used up the rest of my pancake mix for Adrie and myself. We had a good breakfast while we talked about our families at the table and tried to figure out what was going on at the Clinic. With no power and no desire to turn on the generator I spent the next couple of hours doing one of my final loads of laundry, cleaning my room, and figuring out what is going home with me. It was very relaxing.

Biana came back just before lunchtime and filled us in on what had happened. Apparently a couple of people broke into Faith Alive last night by cutting away one of the steel bars on the back windows and shimmying inside. They went upstairs and broke into Joshua’s office where they stole three laptops, a digital camera, and some other tech equipment and came down through the ceiling into the accounting office where they took another laptop, checkbooks, and important financial documentation. Some other locks around the Clinic had been tampered with but unsuccessfully mastered. Thankfully they did not make it into the pharmacy where all the ARV drugs are stored (the most common thing stolen in health clinics. They can be sold for high prices to people who desperately need them.) and did not make it out with the cable modem from Joshua’s office. Biana believes it is someone who knows the Clinic layout fairly well since they knew exactly where to go to get the most valuable items. Other offices and store-rooms were untouched. The police also clued into that but unfortunately thought the two most suspicious subjects were the security guards on duty. Dr. Chris spent the morning bailing them out. I don’t know how much damage was done overall, but I do know that this will be an interesting last week of my trip. They are going to be making some drastic changes in regards to visitors, supply storage, and security issues.

We got another knock at the door only this time it was Doris and Morning Star to brighten our mood! All the white women took turns holding the baby and talking to Doris. They are such precious people, I love it when they come over. Biana taught Morning Star how to click his tongue and he spent most of the time smiling and baby-babbling rather than fussing or eating. Pastor Ben came a little while later and thanked Adrie and I for our time here in Jos. It was really special to hear what he had to say about what we have meant to his personal family along with the Faith Alive family.

After Ben and I had our talk last week we have been trying to find a time to get out to the mountainside that he prays on. So he hired a taxi and we all piled in for a ride to the outskirts of Jos. The driver pulled in to a large grassy field and we all got out to trek up to a large pile of rocks. (I cannot describe how good to felt to walk through grass, stickers, and weeds again. With the added bonus of climbing some massive rocks I felt like I was at home!) We made our way up to the top of the boulders and looked at our surroundings. It was one of the most beautiful places I have been. The big grey rocks sit in the middle of some beautiful amber fields with hardly a building in sight. A small house with a cornfield sat to one side and a few other buildings were off in the distance. A panoramic view of larger mountains are the distant backdrop wherever you turn. What really caught my eye though was the tree. I climbed down the rocks and walked through the tall itchy grass a way to sit on a large flat slab further away to get a better view. It is the most perfect tree I have ever seen; an umbrella of leaves, an L-shaped branch connected to the trunk, and an ample amount of shade. As I sat there looking the wind picked up and blew across my face and hair, making my skirt ripple to the side. Emotion welled up inside of me and I started to cry. Not because of anything sad, but because I know this is the place. Pastor Ben and I both know. Someday there will be a retreat center there and I have to believe the two of us are going to be a part in getting that done.

After sitting and thinking and talking to God for some time I picked myself up and headed back up to the top of the rocks. Ben grabbed my hand and we walked for a bit before coming back together to pray and take a final look for a while. I know I’ll be back to that overlooked field. It has huge plans ahead of it.

Returning home we were all very tired. Morning Star finally fell asleep so Ben’s family went back to their flat while we got ready for dinner. We ate and talked, one of our last meals together for a while, and headed upstairs. The colder weather has FINALLY set in so I decided to heat water for a bucket bath (rather than my normal mountain lake temperature) and got nice and clean. When I got out Naomi had shown up so we spent another good time in our living room with friends. She has some great stories about taking care of Dr. Chris’s kids and is always up for sharing funny moments in her life. I really hope she ends up coming to the States for grad school...

I am now content with my typing, freshly bathed, utterly exhausted, and full of joy.

I love this place.

Day 72: Could You Get Me One Of Obama’s Daughters?

2008-11-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

This morning at the Clinic I took to my computer and Adrie was given the chance to learn how to draw blood. She got to have her first try on a patient and said she almost did it! (Biana told her that most American nurses aren’t allowed to draw blood until they have been through all their schooling. Nigeria has the right idea for hands-on experience!) Working on the discipleship curriculum has been a great chance to run through the Bible. I was having a particularly difficult time finding places where the Trinity was mentioned so Biana jumped on Google to find some scholarly advice. We found an entire article dedicated to this one topic and I realized I just don’t read Scripture as well as I should. Many things are not as straight-forward as we would like to believe. If I read things slower and discovered all the times God refers to himself as “we” or “our” then I wouldn’t have to use Google to prove why I believe what I believe! Goodness. It has been a fun and useful project for me.

A tasty lunch and we were back at Faith Alive to get some more work done. Biana has been swamped for the past week with various tasks -- scratch that. Past year. -- and has been plugging away to get those things done. Adrie and I worked some more and ended up in Biana’s office later to be her cheerleaders. I wish there were things we could accomplish for her! Larry, the OBGYN from Fort Collins here with MCC, spent the afternoon with us while he got some things done on the computer. He reminds us a lot of my Uncle Norm so we all enjoy being around him. He is very energetic, incredibly happy to be here, trying to absorb as much as he can, and in the process of deciding if this is where God would want him to spend this next year after he retires.

Around five Adrie, Larry, and I headed out to the Faith Alive bus and got on board with some other staff members to head out to the MCC Cultural Night. We weren’t sure what to expect but had heard rumors of tribal dancing and food. Sounded like a party to me! All the MCC team was trying out traditional Nigerian garb for the first time (of course Adrie and I didn’t get this memo and showed up in jeans. Cool.) and we were all anticipating a good night. Some of the missionary kids were with us, which made me really happy. I miss my third, fourth, fifth, and sixth graders! The event was held in a large hall on the same compound as the MCC guest house and there were quite a few people there. And it WAS a party. Four different groups did traditional dancing, which was pretty much the coolest things I have ever witnessed. They tied bells and shells to their ankles (one group of guys had chains!) and had various drums, body-painting, and feathers to perform with. Lots of booty-shaking and foot-stamping; think Shakira meets Stomp. I wish I only looked half as put-together when I try to do those moves! They served us rice, chicken, fruit, and traditional rice cakes for dinner and we enjoyed good conversation around the room.

After eating I went outside to get some fresh air and was approached by one of the dancers. He introduced himself as Pius asked if I was an American and when I replied that I was asked if I knew of a way he could marry one of Obama’s girls. He explained that his plan was to marry one of them and someday become the president of the United States. After telling him that first, they are really young and second, presidential candidates have to meet quite a few requirements regarding living in America and that sort of thing he started laughing. He then told me he didn’t really care about Obama’s kids but wanted to get me engaged in conversation so he could ask me if I would be interested in being his wife. That’s when I started laughing. He made some good offers: he’s a young technician, would be fine traveling back and forth between the US and Nigeria, would provide and care for me and our family. Alas, I was not convinced. Adrie came and told me our bus was leaving so I said Goodbye (thanked God for a good excuse to run away) and got on the bus. Pius went back inside with no phone number, no wife, and no hope for marrying into the American presidential family. I think he’ll be just fine.

Day 71: You Don’t Look So Good...

2008-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Only one week left in Jos and my body is giving up on me! I woke up this morning not feeling so hot so I spent the first part of my day doing my discipleship curriculum on my bed rather than in Joshua’s office. It actually worked out much nicer--it was really quiet and I didn’t have to worry about people walking in and out all the time. I am currently trying to correspond meaningful Scripture with certain aspects of the layout Pastor Ben and I worked on. This project has reminded me of just how much the Bible contains! Some topics are easier than others to address (much more on prayer than the Trinity) but it seems to be coming together quite well.

Baba made chips for lunch, one of my favorites, before Adrie and I walked down to the Clinic to do our work there. It was still break time when we showed up so we decided to get on the internet earlier rather than later after work. Today is the one year anniversary of my Life List so we thought it would be a good idea to get something accomplished before the end of the day. Seeing as many of them cannot or should not be done in this setting we decided that learning Thriller would be the best fit! Unfortunately we have not found a way to download off of YouTube so, with our lack of internet outside the third story of the Clinic, we’ll have to wait. Oh well.

. Pastor Ben had neglected to tell us that we were expected to speak today in prayer meeting until about fifteen minutes before it all started. My stomach was turning and I was feeling pretty dizzy when it all started so I quickly had to walk myself out to get pulled together. When I got back they were waiting for me so I walked in and shared in a bit of a babbling form of what my experience at Faith Alive has looked like. They prayed over myself and Adrie and I was sent down (Biana’s orders) to see Dr. Old School about what I could do. Seeing as I had already taken antibiotics, been drinking water, and had persistent stomach dysfunctions for the past twenty-four hours Biana thought I may need to talk to someone with more understanding. Bad idea. I love talking to Old School, which we did for the first few minutes in his office, but once he heard I wasn’t feeling well the questions started. Had I been taking my malaria pill? Had I eaten any fruit? Had I thrown up in the past two days? Panic set in as I realized that what I thought was normal upset stomach was in his mind transferring to e coli. He wanted me to have some tests done and I started to flip out.

With all the emotions building up about leaving soon, anticipating things back home, and just being tired and feeling sick I made the poor decision of starting to cry. Right in the waiting room. In front of patients. With Old School holding my hand. I explained to him as best I could that “I--Am---Just---Emo-tion-al Right Now And---Need To--Leave.” There are a few moments in my life where I wanted to disappear just for the sake of having a few minutes to compose myself. At Faith Alive there is nowhere to escape to be alone. In fact, that is something I have found to be true even of Jos. I never realized my need for alone time to process and decompress until that minute. I have not had a true moment to myself the whole time I have been here. Even when I am in my bedroom by myself there are always people yelling outside, baby goats crying, and one of my flatmates in another part of our home.

All I wanted was a sleeping bag, a big open night sky, and some fireflies.

Back home from the Clinic I fell into bed for a little while and went down to dinner where I forced myself to swallow five spoonfuls of rice. I was a little worried of my own sanity at this point (stomach matters aside) so I did some laundry and listened to Denison Witmer. Adrie always knows how to help out so she suggested watching a movie to end the night. I chose Robin Hood because, well, it’s probably the best movie ever. Next time I run into someone who is feeling sick and completely overwhelmed I am going to prescribe them one hour with cartoon animals and folk music. That just seems to be the perfect mix! Feeling more like my normal self I had a yogurt, wrote my blog, and will crawl into bed to enjoy sweet dreams and proper healing. Tomorrow is a new day...

Day 70: Well, We Didn’t Solve Any Of Our Problems...But It Sure Was A Good Chat!

2008-11-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

We had a longer staff meeting this morning, but it was a great way to start the day. Dr. Kanu spoke about being a vessel for the Lord; being willing to have God fill you in whatever way he saw necessary. it was neat to hear that since Chrissy had spoke to me this past summer about the same passage and how it spoke to her. The individuals with MCC were given an opportunity to introduce themselves after some brief questions and concerns about various aspects of the hospital and the time concluded with a wedding announcement that made everyone burst into laughter. I didn’t see what was so funny about Ezekiel getting married, but apparently he already has six children and a wife who he married in a traditional service. His church is asking that anyone who has not had an official Christian “white wedding” is somehow not married in the sight of God and so many couples in his congregation are tying the knot again in order to please the Lord...by which I mean their pastor.

Adrie and I did not realize we were going to be asked to help out in the store again so we ran home to change into grungy clothes and came back to help Daniel. We spent the morning arranging medical supplies, moving boxes, and sorting through dusty papers to turn a pile of chaotic mess into a nicely arranged storeroom of supplies. Dan is constantly teasing Adrie and wanted her by his side the whole time so I was blessed to work with Musa getting things sorted out and put into proper places around the room. When we left for lunch it was nowhere near completion but we saw that we had made quite some progress. And, again, it showed on our shirts and hands.

After lunch we all headed quickly back to the Clinic for various appointments and projects. Adrie finished her article about Blessing while Biana spoke with a couple of MCC doctors about training during their time here. Shola had asked me earlier if we could meet on his break so we found a nice spot in the waiting room to go over some Timber Mountain songs. It is really fun to be teaching another person who works with kids the songs that we use so much at camp. Last Sunday he taught his class Waves of Mercy and they loved it, so he promised to bring them some more! After belting out Spring Up Oh Wells, Take My Hand, and Pharaoh, Pharaoh for the entire Clinic to hear I was glad to see that he picked up on tunes quickly. We will have to find a less public spot to work on hand motions. Once he went back to the lab (of course, after a bit of conversation. It’s the Nigerian way!) I checked up on e-mails and headed back to the flat a bit earlier than usual. I am working on the curriculum Pastor Ben and I came up with for discipleship class and realized when I got to Faith Alive that everything I needed was left on my bed. Of course.

Back at the flat I did a bit of work, enjoyed some mashed dan kali, and peeled an apple for dessert. Adrie, Biana, and I got comfortable in the living room and spent the next two hours having girl talk. It is so wonderful to be in a place with two women who are open to listening and giving their own stories. We talked about dating and how different relationships look here, the lack of romance in many marriages we have encountered. We discussed our personality strengths and flaws and how that plays a role in how we relate to others. From there we wandered down the trail to beach homes, decorating, friends at church, and guessing people’s ages. I love talking with these two! Realizing it was past our bedtime (almost 9:30! Night owls for sure!) we parted ways after finishing the dishes and brushing our teeth.

Day 69: Dr. Kanu Is ADMIRING Your Computer. Not Marrying.

2008-11-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

Apparently I haven’t worked out my arms much here because I woke up this morning feeling as if I had been lifting weights in my sleep. I had bruises on my forearms where I caught boxes of Plumpy Nut being thrown at me and, even after trying to wash my shirt, decided it may be best to toss it. I hoped they wouldn’t ask us to hold signs or carry large babies at the Clinic--it just wasn’t going to happen.

Thankfully I spent the morning putting my interview with Pastor Ben into article format, which takes a while with my writing habits. I read and reread things until I have picked a synonym for every word, rearrange every sentence, and then change it all back to the first thing I wrote. Luckily after a couple of hours I was satisfied with the outcome in time to leave for lunch. After eating I took my hour-long break to curl up on my bed and fall asleep. Hooray for Safari Snooze!

Back at the Clinic I read through my article once more (just in case...) and e-mailed it to Fresno First. I spent the rest of my time working on the discipleship class curriculum in Joshua’s office with Adrie. Something that is fun about working in there is the fact that twenty minutes can’t go by without someone dropping in to talk to Joshua--and then being forced to talk to us since we are sitting in there. Dr. Kanu graced us with his presence today and was actually happy to see some extra people in there. He is such a sweetheart, we always have a good time talking with him. He asked to see my computer so I let him bum around on it while his laptop got an antivirus update. Joshua turned to me and said, “Dr. Kanu wants to marry your computer.” I thought that was pretty funny and told Dr. Kanu that he couldn’t marry it since I needed it for my homework. He gave me a weird look and Joshua tapped my on the shoulder. “Caitlin. Dr. Kanu wants to ADMIRE your computer.” My ears have gotten me into some interesting situations here--apparently I am no good at deciphering conversations in different accents. Or any accent for that matter.

Back at the flat we took time to enjoy dinner and conversation and Adrie and I watched Empire Records on her laptop before we had to turn off the generator. I love 90s music! And fashion. Why don’t guys wear flannel shirts anymore? They’re so amazing! We were super tired once it was over, despite it being 9:15, and went to sleep. I have a fear my sleeping pattern is going to be thrown off for months once I get home...

Day 68: Vision. Exactly.

2008-11-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

Waking up this morning I had no idea it was going to be such a monumental day. I got ready like I normally do, enjoyed some hot cereal, and walked down to Faith Alive to do some work in the pharmacy. It was a busy place this morning and for some reason there were about four extra people working in the pharmacy. Adrie and I counted pills before I worked with Isaiah to take inventory of and stock all the newly shipped ARV drugs. The two of us make a good team; he opens all the boxes and gets things out of the packaging while I organize them on the shelf. (We tried the other way for a while and it was quite a disaster) As much as I would have enjoyed spending all morning there I had a meeting with Pastor Ben just before eleven to interview him for an article I am writing for Fresno First Baptist’s advent season. He had an unexpected group show up that he needed to show around the Clinic so he let me know we’d have to meet a bit later. I wandered into Biana’s office and talked to her for a little bit until he was ready.

Pastor Ben and I have had a strange connection during my time here but have not really had a chance to sit down and talk one-on-one. We found the conference room was open so we took seats at a table up front. I asked him if he would be wiling to share his testimony, which he gladly did, and I was amazed to hear his story. Ben grew up in a very poor family, the youngest of eighteen children, and lost both of his parents when he was young. He wanted so badly to get an education but, being raised by older siblings, realized he would have to work to get school fees. He did end up making enough for secondary school, worked some more for university, and graduated with a degree in microbiology. He always knew he had a passion for preaching and was found by Dr. Chris when he was working at a base camp nearby. He has been working at Faith Alive for three years now, married with a gorgeous son named Morning Star, and loves his life. After sharing all this with me he asked if I wouldn’t mind being late to lunch and share my story with him. I told him about my family, going to school, and about my ministry at Sugar Pine. He looked at me very strange when I told him about my job and pulled out a notepad and pen. “Repeat what you just said,” he told me energetically. “Um, I work at a children’s camp...” He scribbled something down and showed it to me: CHILDREN’S CAMP. “Cait, this is it.” I was a little confused but obviously eager to hear what he had to say. Turns out Ben has been praying for a while that God would send someone his way that knows about camps and retreat centers. The entire city of Jos and the areas around it have nothing like our camps back home. The closest thing to our week-long summer programs are yearly weekend conferences where kids from around the city meet at a large church and have worship and Bible study together. “This,” he said looking me straight in the eye and pointing to his notepad, “is what we are missing All the while my head was processing what was going on inside of me. Some who are close to me know that for a few years now I have been trying to discover what God will have me do. During a trip to Mexico I spoke to Chris, Linda, and Uncle Norm about camps in other countries. I went home and had the same discussion with my parents a few days later. “If I could find something like that,” I told Mom and Dad, “I would jump right in. That would be a perfect blend of my two passions: camping ministry and other countries.”

Could my seemingly far-fetched vision be understood as something that will be reality from one conversation? I think so. Because God can do that.

Ben and I spoke for a long time before he was called back to the lab and I was called to fill my stomach. We prayed together and he told me that he wants to take me to a mountain about ten minute outside of Jos where he goes when he needs time for retreat and reflection. “The land is for sale...” he added. We both laughed as we parted ways and I realized this may be the reason God called me to Jos; to encourage Ben to get something started.

I had a quick lunch, with my heart feeling a great peace, and changed into my grunge clothes to help move the store items from the second story up to the new room on the third floor. Two hours of heavy lifting, sweating, and dusty boxes was a surprisingly fun experience. We moved things in the Nigerian fashion--Joshua taught me how to carry things on my head--and made pretty quick progress. Our fireman assembly line was quite a workout. Musa grabbed the heavy box and walked up the first half of the stairs and handed it to me, who walked the second half of the stairs up to Yazi, who put the box on her head and walked down the hall to Adrie, who took the box inside to Daniel, who put it in the proper spot. My green Sugar Pine shirt was completely brown by the end of the day and my hands were filthy. We decided to end our work day early since we were all so exhausted.

Back at the flat Adrie and I took much-needed bucket baths and had a good dinner. NEPA was off the better part of the last week and it has not been on at all today. Not having power means we go to bed earlier than usual (running out of fuel for the generator by running it so long would be ridiculous) since we turn off our generator-powered lights at 9:00. Thankfully, after the day I had, 9:00 sounds like the perfect bedtime.

Day 67: Suzuki? Are You Part Of A Wealthy Business Family?

2008-11-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

It never ceases that I wake up earlier than normal schedule on the weekends, but at least I don’t have to worry about setting an alarm. United Baptist’s service normally starts just after ten so I had some time to bum around this morning (read some of my book, a bucket bath, watch some miniseries about Mary Queen of Scots) before putting on my Nigerian outfit and grabbing my Bible. At Church this morning the pastor had asked Biana to pray for their mission’s offering so the two of us sat in the second row (as opposed to twentieth) and enjoyed being next to the older members of the congregation. Something that was extra exciting was a man who they seated up on stage with the pastors--and he was Japanese! Mr. Suzuki is the first Asian I have seen in over two months and I was so overjoyed to have some familiarity in the room. It turns out that he is one of the heads of Gideon International and travels the world distributing Bibles. He spoke for a few minutes and i honestly believe Biana and I were the only people in the room who understood his English through his thick accent. Oh, it made me feel at home. Thank the Lord I am starting to be able to pick up on the Pastor’s thick accent and was able to take a lot from his message on turning to God before turning to others. It seems that when I am in need, or frustrated, or confused it seems to be easiest to talk to a friend or family member before giving it all over to God. Of course I want to avoid contact with the only one who knows exactly what is going on. It gave me some encouragement though to realize that this is becoming a steady habit of mine and over the past few months have been making decisions based on God’s lead more than friend’s suggestions. I will always value the importance of talking to others; I just need to remember the order of the process.

After church Biana and I wandered back to the flat where we each decided on a different menu for lunch. Biana fixed leftover rice and fish from dinner, Adrie made a tuna sandwich, and I made my awfully lopsided pancakes. We ate while we discussed missions, money, and Church; three topics that I have developed a lot of thoughts about during my time here. (I would write all these thoughts down now but will instead wait until I have the time to compose an essay...or novel) We spent a little time relaxing before taking care of some business back at the Clinic. Adrie and I got giddy with excitement when we found out Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova are playing down the street from our hostel in London but that soon turned to disappointment when we found out the only tickets left cost around £40. Like we have that much money for one concert. Oh well, we are still making some budget-friendly plans for those few days and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for tickets to see Josh Hartnett in Rain Man. Not for the Josh Hartnett part (although he has gotten fabulous reviews in this. And he’s cute.) but for the fact that Charlie is one of my favorite characters of all-time.

We ended the evening with a final trip to the Net Cafe for dinner and ice cream. I ordered what I thought was the dish I had last time, but it turned out to be something different...and weird. Oh well, the cinnamon gelato tasted like Christmas and that was reason enough for me to eat there. Back at home Adrie and I danced off all of our meal and had fun listening to each other’s music. My stomach is really upset from yesterday’s dinner (after two meals and two horribly upset stomachs I have decided that the Hilltop Station is not a good place for me to eat) so I am going to get to sleep early. Honestly I don’t know if that helps at all, but I figured being unconscious would at least get my mind out of my tummy.

Day 66: Ugh. My Brothers Are SO Frustrating.

2008-11-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

This morning was the graduation ceremony for the social services computer, knitting, and sewing classes. Adrie and I arrived early to the Clinic to help set up but they had more people blowing up balloons than they needed, so we ended up bumming around for a couple of hours before the ceremony got started. It was really neat to see the normally drab Faith Alive waiting room decorated and flooded with extra lighting (and scrubbed down; the floors were sparkling!). The graduation surprisingly only got started five minutes late and turned out to be a great celebration. All the students were very dressed up, the sewing and knitting school ladies were even wearing matching fabrics in their original outfits. They were able to present each student with a certificate and the sewing and knitting school graduates got their own machines to use. Many people who have gone through these programs either get hired as IT support right after finishing or are able to open their own clothing shops. It is a wonderful way to empower people and enrich their communities! After everyone got their awards, sang songs, and presented their gratitude to the right people they served refreshments while everyone mingled. Adrie and I hung out with Joshua who enjoyed playing with my camera, taking “action shots” and “candid shots” of friends around the place. He was extra hyper for some odd reason and spent a lot of time dancing while he stalked people in the courtyard. I talked to Shola for a bit, who is very upset that I decided to go home right before his 26^th birthday, and made plans to see Blessing at her shop over the next few days.

Joyce, a woman from Baltimore involved with Hope For West Africa, is here just for a couple of days meeting up with Biana and Dr. Chris. We enjoyed lunch with her and I realized after just five minutes with her that she is one crazy busy woman. Not only does she work full-time for the University of Maryland but she also “puts out fires” at clinics all around West Africa and supplies thousands of people with ARV drugs by hooking them up with proper programs. It was fun hearing her talk about her family, her three homes, and her constant traveling. I could never enjoy her life, but it seems to work well for her! She headed off to a meeting at an orphanage nearby while the three of us went upstairs for some needed R&R. My Saturdays back home are normally spent at Sugar Pine, which is where I want them to be, so I normally don’t find much time for pleasure reading. Saturdays here are my chance to sit down with a good book and listen to music. I am really going to miss that freedom!

Back to the Clinic for computer time and then back home to get ready for another night out at Hill Station. Eliasar, the Lebanese restaurant, is the designated spot to take visitors from Faith Alive. We took Joyce but had a little different crowd from when we took Jon and Kristen. Mama Oshano brought her husband and son and Dr. Chris came with the kids. I was blessed to have Emily take the seat right next to mine so we enjoyed the time before our food arrived playing hand-clapping games, singing songs, and holding her baby doll. She was dressed like a princess for the night, a large red gown with plastic tiara and matching jewelry, and decided that since I was in my boring Nigerian dress it would be a good idea to spread the wealth and allow me to look like a princess for parts of the night. Second graders have the power convince you that wearing a plastic tiara in a nice place in a foreign country will help you fit in. The food was really good (this time there were spring rolls! Hallelujah!) and we all enjoyed each other’s company. Mr. and Mrs. Oshano brought their college-aged son along and were trying towards the end of the night to set him and Adrie up. I’m always the supportive friend in those situations who does their best not to laugh or egg everyone on; I thought it was a good idea!

Back at the flat we enjoyed the blessing of NEPA for approximately seven minutes before the collective sigh and start of the generator. A large cockroach scrambled into Adrie’s room so we used our dynamic forces and killed the sucker before heading off to bed, tired and full.

It really is going to be hard for me to leave this place--but everyone here knows I will be back...

Day 65: Our Only Option Is Mixed Gender. Lets Go For It.

2008-11-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Another Jos morning: roosters, conversation, sunshine, and the hope of another fabulous day. Adrie and I opted out of a trip to Bakin Kogi and Kafanchan for the day in order to get some of our projects done at the Clinic. I spent part of my day in Biana’s office printing finished documents and airline confirmations and another part speaking with Pastor Ben about discipleship curriculum. The printing went well but talking with Ben was better. We went over the outline for the flow of topics for the class and I was really glad when he told me he thought I did the best job possible. (Of course we ran into a few snags considering I misheard “Word” for “Work” and thought he was telling me to put a whole section dedicated to doing things. Instead he was talking about the importance of the Bible. Obviously.) He then went on to tell me that there was something he needed to speak to me about before I left Jos. Ben had spent time with my cousin Evan when he visited the Clinic back in April. Evan had mentioned to Ben that I was coming in September and that he believed the two of us would have a strong bond. Over the past few weeks I can definitely say that is true; Ben has been a huge part of this trip and my spiritual well-being here. What I didn’t realize is that I have been that same support to Ben since I arrived. It was a really neat conversation, saying Thank You to someone for being who they are! He told me that even though I was leaving early he knows we will stay in contact (“Bless the Lord for cross-country communication!”) and I assured him that I will be back in Nigeria at some point in my life. When doesn’t matter right now.

After such a positive start to my day I was a completely thrown off when I walked into the middle of my first Dr. Chris rant. I tried to sneak past him into the Biana’s office to finish my work but he decided I needed to be a part of this outrage. Details aren’t important, he was incredibly angry at a situation from the day before, and just needed some people around to hear him out before he saw patients. I can’t say I was too thrilled to be one of those people but I think it is good to have a release with supportive friends before facing the rest of the world. When he went downstairs it was lunchtime and I was ready for some food and a rest.

Power naps always bring me back to normal functioning so after getting up from some Jack Johnson and a little shut-eye I was ready to get back to the Clinic. With the extra hands from MCC and the fact that Fridays are usually less busy, Adrie and I did not have much to do. We decided to check up with people back home and get our hostel booked for London. We hoped to be back to our flat when the work day was over at 4:00 but realized that since the group was not back from Bakin Kogi we would have to wait in order to properly lock up. This all turned out to be ok since we ran into some problems booking our reservations and had to call Louisa to get things all worked out for our accommodations once we get to England. Thankfully after a couple phone calls, internet searching, and frustration, we got four nights at a pretty nice place in central London for about $100. Not too shabby! When we finally got our confirmation number we were twenty minutes late to dinner so when we got to the flat we told Baba to go home and got everything cleaned up in the kitchen ourselves.

It is all night prayer tonight (first Friday of the month!) but we opted for a quieter time at home since we are getting up to help get ready for the sewing school graduation in the morning. Of course, with all the church loudspeakers that are set up in our neighborhood it may actually be easier to fall asleep upstairs in the Clinic... We watched Obama speak shortly on the financial crisis, talked for a bit about holiday traditions, and went to bed early with a book in hand.

Day 64: Nigeria Has So Much Money, Yet Its People Are Poor. WE Make Ourselves Poor.

2008-11-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

I was shocked to wake up to another Thursday, where is all the time going?! During breakfast I went through the list in my brain of things that need to get done over the next few days and started on what is hopefully one of my last loads of laundry. Waiting for things to soak I sat with my computer and made sure that the discipleship class curriculum was in place with an outline and further suggestions. Hopefully it is helpful to Pastor Ben who is organizing all of it. We walked down to the Clinic once I was ready to print up my document and spent time in Biana’s office before lunch. (I am trying to make the most of every spare minute in an internet-accessible area to plan our few days in London. Yay for hostels and free entertainment!)

Baba made chips, one of my favorite meals, and got us well fed before we met up with MCC again. Greg drove us out to the guest house where we were able to hear a local pastor and historian named Justin give a presentation on the history of Nigeria. It was incredible to hear where this country has been and where it is going--things sounded much better under military rule, that’s for sure. He spent a lot of time being candid about the corruption here, something that many are not too aware of in terms of political and economical ordeals. Nigeria has the potential to be one of the richest nations in the world; they make billions of dollars in their oil industry. But the money stays in the hands of a few and never makes it down to the rest. It is so hard to realize that millions of people here are living in unnecessary poverty: begging on the streets and dying of preventable diseases because they cannot afford food or proper care. And what is supposed to be done? Violent government overthrow has sadly been accomplished numerous times with no positive result. Organizations have tried to make a difference, but are many times uprooted due to lack of funding. The common person does not know their rights or else gets killed for taking a stand. It is such a different world here, and it is hard to see a bright future for this nation.

But there is hope. All is not lost for Nigeria. Good things have already begun.

We went back to Faith Alive for a short amount of time so Biana could get some online Christmas shopping done for her family. Dinner was good, I spent some time doing homework, and enjoyed some peace and quiet with a new book. Ahh, I am going to miss these moments where absolutely nothing is expected of me...

Day 63: What If I Have A One-Eyed Baby With A Tail?!

2008-11-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

Adrie and Biana were awake to hear the election results (about 4:15 am Nigeria time) so once I finally got up to my alarm I was informed that Obama was our new president. My day started off on a good note! I watched a bit of his acceptance speech and thought it was cool how diverse of a following he has drawn. Many Nigerians have told me that they have been praying fervently that God will put the right person in power who can make reconcile America back with the rest of the world. Sometimes I forget just how much other countries think we are pompous, ungrateful, and lazy; thankfully I have been reminded of that by my friends here!

This morning we were able to meet the group of doctors from MCC who arrived yesterday to spend the next couple of weeks in Jos. They are staying at a guest house in a different area of the city so we drove out to enjoy a morning seminar and lunch with them. It is a neat little group; about half Americans and half Canadians, most about my parent’s age, who are really excited about being here. After quick introductions we were able to listen to a man named Gopar speak on what peacekeeping looks like in Jos. He has an interesting story. A Nigerian native, he and his wife moved to Virginia for a few years so he could attend the EMU (Eastern Mennonite University) seminary where he took courses in conflict management and peacekeeping. Two days after their return to Jos, September 9, 2001, the worst religious conflict of this nation broke out. Christians and Muslims had allowed tension to build over decades and it all burst forth over a few smaller issues during that time. Hundreds of people were murdered, Christians and Muslims burning down each other’s homes and taking up arms against their brothers over the span of a few months. Gopar knew that God had prepared him for this exact moment but he was terrified what would happen if he tried to mediate this violent conflict. He spoke to seminary leaders who pointed the finger at Muslims and Islamic political figures who blamed the Christians. It became clear to him that God was going to transform on the individual level, so he began holding peacemaking classes at a local college. Interest grew and soon he was holding interfaith seminars where both Christian and Muslim individuals could come together and talk things through. People began to open up to one another and work to suppress hatred and intolerance, learning to coexist and make life better for everyone. It was a long and intricate process, but now in 2008 Jos has become a city where these two religious groups are living side by side again; engaging in trade, developing friendships, and moving forward to improve their communities. Faith Alive plays a huge role in this progress as a Clinic that does not look at a person’s religious or tribal background, only at getting a person’s medical needs met.

Lunch was good and we got the chance to sit with two younger women from Toronto (a redhead and her younger blonde sister!) who are here for the first time. They are really nice and are looking forward to learning things here to take back home with them. I can’t remember everyone’s names right now, but I can remember some details. There is an OB from Fort Collins (connected with the same church as Jon and Kristen! Small world!), a pharmacist from the Niagra Falls area, Lois from Upstate New York, Jean from Denver, and an elderly man who recently visited FPU on behalf of EMU. It will be really nice getting to know these folks over the next few days--they are all so friendly!

Back at the Clinic Adrie and I spent the rest of the day working on our current projects and checking up on e-mail. Naomi came in looking for her purse, and later informed us that Dr. Chris had stolen it from her office and hid it in the storage room. That man is insane! We got our final travel itineraries, found some amazing free things to do in London, and heard from friends and family. The best news came in an e-mail from my Aunt Sissy who let me know that prayer works: the doctors believe her cancer is gone!!!! I started crying with tears of joy and realized how seriously I underestimate the power of my God. He is so good--and knows exactly what each and every one of his millions of children need! I left today overflowing with joy and peace, my two favorite feelings.

The rest of the afternoon was devoted to listening to music, organizing curriculum notes for Pastor Ben, and relaxing. Baba made his famous curry for dinner and I enjoyed Adrie’s “I’m-So-Tired-I-Can’t-Function-Normally” thoughts. She talked about her sister’s pregnancy (yay!) but ended up wondering out-loud what she would do if she had a baby that looked like an alien. She then continued on a bit too seriously about scary doctor’s appointments and chocolate, so we collectively decided that getting to sleep early was needed. Badly. It gets dark during dinnertime now, so we always hope that there is something to keep us entertained for a bit before bedtime. We wandered upstairs just in time to catch my favorite movie on tv. A perfect ending to a great day!

Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.

Ain’t that right, Forrest.

Day 62: Hot? That Place Is Goddamn Hell!

2008-11-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

Last night was by far the worst night of sleep I have had in Nigeria. Possibly the worst night of sleep in the past year. I don’t know if I wasn’t comfortable or was too hot or because it was so loud outside but I was completely exhausted once I woke up. Luckily despite my lack of rest I was in a good mood so I enjoyed some corn flakes and walked down to the Clinic with Adrie to spend the morning with our friends in the pharmacy. We counted pills while we chatted with people wandering in and out of our workspace. Dr. Old School told us the warmest climates he had spent time in, Yazi snuck up behind us and made us jump, and Peju spoke to herself for a while when she realized she made a mistake in the registry. I met with Pastor Ben before lunch to see how I can help with the new curriculum the pastors at Faith Alive are developing for the discipleship classes. We talked for a while about what would be important to cover and how to go about doing so. That project should take up a good part of the rest of my time here!

I ate lunch by myself today since Adrie had to get some e-mailing done before talking to Blessing and Biana was dealing with some crazy situation (as usual). By this point in the day I was ready to collapse, all energy I had mustered mentally from lack of sleep was wearing off, so I took an hour-and-a-half long nap at the flat. Adrie had Blessing over for an interview and I vaguely remember waking up for a second and seeing them peer in through my curtain to see if I was awake yet. Blessing has a really amazing story--Adrie was given her permission to share it with the people back home. Once I woke up (at 2:30) I walked back down to the Clinic for computer time; working on the curriculum and corresponding with people far away. (I even had a few extra minutes to find a good website on cheap hostels in London!) Finished with my tasks for the day I started home just as the school across the street was getting out. Because of my great timing I was able to enjoy the company of five kids in blue and white checkered uniforms and see that they made it home ok. The last child to be dropped off is our neighbor from across the street; so we said Goodbye knowing we will wave to each other in the morning.

The afternoon was very relaxing. Adrie and I realized how dirty and calloused our feet are getting (sandals + dirt streets + broken glass everywhere = bad feet!) so we took matters into our own hands. Adrie had the brilliant idea to heat water, pour it into two buckets, and soak our feet for a while before attacking them with soap and pumice stones. Listening to Disney music helped, too. After a few minutes we had nearly normal-looking tootsies, hallelujah! Dinner, a strange movie on tv, and some chocolate ended the day on a good note.

The days are moving faster than before!

Day 61: Don’t Forget The Lion King Songs! Those Are Probably The Most Important.

2008-11-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

Adrie and I decided after breakfast this morning that we should stop by the discipleship class before heading to the Clinic. We walked over to the sewing school and helped set up the benches before everyone piled in. There was a good time of singing and praising, but I realized that I hadn’t seen Pastor Esther walk in yet. Once we stopped the music everyone took a seat. I was pulling out my Bible from my purse when I realized a roomful of eyes on me. I looked up to the smiles and Doris asked, “Why are you not up front yet?” They thought I was teaching! I asked where Pastor Esther was and they told me that she could not make it to class today, assuming that I had come as a substitute. Grabbing my Bible and saying a quick whole-hearted prayer I walked up to the front, took a seat, and started to talk. Recently I had read Matthew 5 and was able to bring up what it means to be salt and light on this earth. It was a brief discussion, not even fifteen minutes, but it seemed meaningful to think about: don’t lose your flavor, don’t lose your glow!

The ladies are graduating from their class on Saturday so they informed me the rest of the time would be spent preparing a song they will sing. Leaving them to their music, Adrie was able to sit in on a counseling session and I headed upstairs to Biana’s office. She was quite busy this morning (ah, a typical Monday) but was able to let me know between people walking in and out that I was going to help Pastor Ben with the finishing touches on a curriculum for Discipleship Class. Jon and Kristen left me some papers with all the progress they had made, so I spent the time up until lunch reading over their materials and thinking through what questions still need to be answered.

Lunch was good, as always, and all three of us headed back to Faith Alive for a full afternoon. I told Shola on Friday that he should stop by during break so we could start burning some music onto cds. Cheap or worthwhile music is hard to come by here, most cds are overpriced or burned from poor sources. Shola picked a nice selection of old-school Christian bands (AudioA, dc Talk, Newsboys) and a variety of Christmas music to add to his collection. I started the process but, since copying music takes time, he went back to the lab after three cds and I got looking for a good online curriculum to give us some ideas. I was successful in finding some helpful guidelines regarding discipleship topics, but a little annoyed that so many sites claiming to have discussion starters were all about buying expensive Bible studies! Adrie and I did some e-mailing, chatted with Joshua, and uploaded pictures before leaving when it started getting dark.

Sweet potatoes for dinner were chased down with hot chocolate on the balcony, a good conversation about traveling, and more burning of cds. The final song has just been copied, so ten recordable cds later and Shola has a new music collection! (I really hope these bands realize that I am not giving away their songs in vain!) I am tuckered out and ready for a good night’s sleep before MCC arrives in the morning.

Day 60: Just Give Thanks!

2008-11-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

It was Thanksgiving Sunday at United Baptist so Biana told me to bring extra naira. I think that church is by far the most expensive thing to do around here... Because our service doesn’t start until ten I was able to make myself some gluten-free pancakes, which, although they were particularly ugly from the beat-up pan I used, were delicious. Putting on my Nigerian clothes and quickly brushing my teeth Biana and I headed out the door to walk down to church. We arrived just as the doors were opening and were escorted towards the front to sit near Mary and Fatima. Everyone was dressed up and there were many more people there than usual. Mary told me quietly before the service got under way that this was the Nigerian version of our American Church’s Christmas--everyone shows up! There was a lot of singing and dancing, and the guest pastor spoke about how we as humans will never fully understand how greatful we need to be for what God has given us. It was so nice to hear a Nigerian refuting the Prosperity Gospel and reminding the congregation that yes, there may be hard times, but God is full of grace. THAT is something to be thankful about! After he spoke they said the congregation would enjoy a “ten to fifteen minute” time of thanksgiving offering. They asked every person with the last name beginning with A to go into the foyer and, when the music started playing, dance on up to the front to present your offering. Mind you much more than naira was being given. Farmers brought forth corn and sugar cane, families brought up bottled water, one woman even danced forward with a very large live chicken! The pastor would then pray over those people and that offering before they found their seats. After A came B through G, followed by the kids, then guests,... Once it reached two o’clock Biana and I decided we should scoot out as quietly as possible. They called T as we ducked out the door.

Back at home we fixed hot dogs and baked beans for lunch (Fourth of July in Jos?) and sat around talking about our home church. It is so cool to be living with two people from the Fresno First Baptist family; we never run out of things to discuss and enjoy about our home congregation. Adrie and I went for our daily e-mailing (which has gotten a little more intense over the past week. If only there were some other way to communicate with the necessary people without the use of wireless internet on the third floor of Faith Alive!) and returned in time for a hodgepodge dinner. We hoped there would be a good movie on tonight (seeing as it gets dark earlier now and we can’t do anything outside) but all that we found were scary movies and news channels. We pulled out Adrie’s dvd of Singing In The Rain and enjoyed a night of Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds: now there is what classy looks like! It made me miss tap-dance lessons as a first grader. In honor of the fabulous dance moves (and the Halloween parties we missed out on) Adrie and I kicked our dance party up a notch with costumes and pictures. You know you are tired when... That got us tuckered out enough to send us to bed, ready for another brilliant week at Faith Alive.

Day 59: I Heard Rumors That You Are Planning A Coup. Do You Want To Overthrow My Government?

2008-11-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

After a terribly long and tiring week I was blessed to be able to sleep in knowing that we made no set plans for this Saturday. I was up for a good part of the early morning hours thinking, but got most things resolved enough to fall back asleep for a while before breakfast. Baba made us special chips and fried eggs, which tasted especially good. Biana set off after eating to get some work done at the Clinic while Adrie and I headed upstairs for some good conversation. We both needed to decompress.

For lunch I used up the last of my corn tortillas for a not-so-Mexican version of quesadillas along with a bowl of corn flakes. We went down to the Clinic shortly thereafter for some more important e-mailing and phone calls all the way up until dinner time. Dr. Chris showed up for a bit and, after telling us he had heard rumors of us wanting to overthrow the government, went on to remind us that he wanted to find us husbands here and that instead of voting for Obama or McCain we should vote him for US president. I told him that had I gotten an absentee ballot his name would have appeared on the fill-in line: a vote well deserved. A supper of leftover stew and strange indie film about Brazilian cooking seemed a good way to officially end the week and bring in November.

It has been a strange week for many reasons, but the most important is that Adrie and I have been waiting for a reply from God regarding if we need to leave Nigeria earlier than planned. Many things have come up both here and at home and we have felt quite uneasy about weighing our options. On the one hand I want so badly to stay the whole time to enjoy the company here and continue work at Faith Alive. But most of the reasons behind wanting to stay are very selfish: putting off some important decisions back home, fleeing the busyness of work and my social life, and mostly feeling like I should stay so people won’t think I am weak for needing to come home early. God has proven to me through the Word, good friends both here and around the world, and through my spirit that Adrie and I need to leave. So on November 21 we will fly out of Abuja, about three weeks before our projected date. I have a complete peace about leaving because I know that my priorities right now lie in Fresno, California. Ministry occurs at Faith Alive, but I have to remember that before God called me to travel and experience other people’s lives he called me to remember my own. My first ministry lies with my family, my friends, and central California. I’m glad it took me a trip halfway around the world to finally realize that.

“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” - Proverbs 19:21

This truly is a great adventure. And I wouldn’t allow my life to look any other way.

Day 58: Your Future Husband Is Waiting Downstairs!

2008-10-31T01:57:00.000-07:00

Two people outside decided it would be a good decision to have a yelling match in the street around midnight so none of us slept incredibly well. It is so strange, a lot of the noisiest times I have experienced here have been in the middle of the night; prayer over loudspeakers, fighting, ping-pong, car alarms, it is so bizarre!

Despite not sleeping through the whole night I woke up with a bit more energy the past two days and enjoyed the morning getting computer work done at the flat. Adrie finished entering data into the government book (can I get an Amen?!) before lunch so we were feeling good about that. Biana came to lunch and asked if I wanted to join her in a little excursion to the MCC office in Jos where she was having a meeting. I was able to go and meet Brenda, a woman who helped me prepare for this trip via e-mail, and hear more about what her family is doing here. Next week a group of MCC doctors from the US and Canada arrive to partner with Faith Alive for a little while. They have invited Adrie and myself to join in on their classes, ministry visits, and other cultural activities, which we eagerly jumped in on. It will be nice to have some more learning experiences here and spend some time with Mennonites! (I miss my friends...) Dr. Chris spent a good while in the car explaining that he had picked out a Nigerian man for me to marry. Not only was her a wonderful man, he told me, but this way I will have to come back to Jos permanently. He smiled really big. “Dr. Chris,” I told him, “what would you have done if I actually bought this?” He started to laugh and replied, “I guess I would have made a few phone calls.” He is such a joker! Apparently he brings up marriage with most young American women to see their reaction. “The last person I tried this with broke down in tears!” he informed me. Luckily my blonde roots only grow so deep!

Back at the Clinic we caught up on e-mails and are moving closer to a final decision regarding our journey. God is making it clear what we need to do, we just need to take that peace and move forward with it. We got to sit with Dan’s son Chris for a few minutes while Dr. Ben played a cartoon with a hippo singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” four times through on his laptop to keep the little one entertained. It was precious! Since it is Halloween back home (no one here celebrates it. And what would give them reason to?) we decided to celebrate with a trip to Tamarash for groceries and chocolate bars. Treat! Baba made a delightful dinner (suna abinchi mashed dan kali: this food is called mashed potatoes. My Hausa is getting better!) and we ended our long tiring week with a movie, some chocolate, and an early bedtime.

I love knowing that we serve a God who knows what we can handle. All three of us made it through this week without any feelings of hatred, confusion, or depression at the end of it! God is good!

Day 57: Your Hausa Sounds Good. Good Trying.

2008-10-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

The girls let me sleep in for a while knowing that having a quiet morning at the flat would help me recover from the past couple of days. I woke up at eight, made myself some breakfast, and spent the rest of the time before lunch editing my article and doing some homework. It was one of the first chances I had felt free to sit and think so I got some much-needed processing of emotions underway. It is funny how life changes so rapidly and God leaves it up to us how we handle those situations. More than anything I am just confused so I spent some time talking to God; he knows best what comes next in this great adventure.

We met Baba outside before lunch and he walked up to us with a serious expression. “I no make lunch today, you say yesterday you didn’t want lunch today.” Adrie and I took him at his word for a second before realizing once he started laughing that, yet again, Baba was keeping our time here entertaining. He is teaching me some Hausa and I am on my way to becoming fluent. I can say How are you, I am fine, Good morning, See you tomorrow, This food was good, and Potatoes. I am desperately hoping that one morning I can go to the market and try out all my phrases!

The Clinic was much less hectic today than it was earlier this week so everyone was much more at ease. Prayer meeting was an hour-long dance party with Jesus--singing, clapping, passing around babies that moms had to bring to work with them today. It was a great time! Nigerians really know how to worship through dance; I hope that my white-girl moves don’t hinder the fullness of my praise. When the music stopped we all went back to our respective tasks around the Clinic and I found myself back at the computer making final changes and keeping in touch with people back home. It was a relaxing afternoon and I was glad to get some needed venting off my chest and back to the proper people via cyberspace. It is particularly hard to process life when a majority of the people you need to talk to are thousands of miles away...

Once we felt good about our daily tasks we headed back to the flat for a round of pilates, dinner, and chat on the balcony. It was especially pretty tonight since NEPA was not around and the stars were easier to see. Adrie and I enjoyed our own dance party before catching the tail-end of Bridget Jones’s Diary and heading off to bed. Things are looking better.

Day 56: How Are You Really Doing?

2008-10-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

I wasn’t sure how the morning would look but things started out well. I woke up to my alarm, had a good breakfast, put on a cute outfit, and even decided to wear my hair down. Things felt right as Adrie and I walked out of the flat but I have grown to learn that things change in a minute when life gets going. The lady on the corner who sells corn, Frances, brought her screaming first grader up to me as we walked past and asked if I could make sure she got to school ok. Apparently the two of them were having a rough morning and her daughter sobbed the entire walk to primary school at the church across from Faith Alive. When Adrie and I got upstairs for staff meeting we were both a little on edge. Dr. Chris told everyone that they needed to head out to department meetings and, as Adrie walked to the pharmacy, I felt it all rising inside of me. I found a good quiet spot on the second floor to sit and cry.

I have grown to realize I don’t share my negative feelings well with others, which is funny since I was such a melancholy child. Sitting in the hallway by myself I wiped my tears and talked to God for a bit before wandering back upstairs. Luckily Biana spotted me first and pulled me into her office where I was able to talk things through with her and Adrie. It felt good to put into words all the things running through my head. I decided a morning in the flat would give me some room to breathe so I finished writing my article for Fresno First, watched a bit of Anchorman with Adrie, and wandered down for lunch.

Right after lunch Greg took me back to Faith Alive where I sat outside of the longest meeting known to man, checking e-mails and talking with Felicia. Biana had asked me to show her my article once it was written but I realized soon after the doctors walked out of her office that she was having as crazy of a day as I was. I made a couple of phone calls, not nearly as weepy today, and was glad to see that God has already started making peace out of potentially turbulent situations. It is impossible for things to stay the same when you are in another country--life keeps going and God keeps moving people to his will! Shola wandered up to say hello and ended up staying for a good hour with my laptop looking through the past few years of my life on iphoto and choosing songs to download from itunes. It definitely cheered me up, though he had no idea I was in a distressed state.

The end of the workday came almost two hours later than normal and the three of us dragged home for dinner. Amos had asked if he could come over and bring us some barbequed Nigerian fish, which Biana respectfully agreed to. None of us were in high spirits but made sure to make the most of our meal with Amos, his wife, and his daughter. The fish was pretty tasty--instead of normal “River Fish” this was tilapia--and the Nigerians voluntarily ate the heads. We washed up quickly after they left and headed upstairs to get comfortable.

Not long after we got back to the flat we heard a knock at the door and were greeted by Pastor Ben, Morning Star and, after a few minutes, Doris. We sat in the living room and chatted for a bit and Ben sensed something was up. He asked me straight out how I was doing and I told him quite honestly that I was not doing well. As any good pastor would he stood up to address us, but as any good friend would he did not preach at us but instead shared his thoughts on life. He told us that it seems to be the hardest points in his life where God speaks the loudest and that we all must endure trials to make anything work. Life does not work without conflict and questioning, he said, because that would make us believe we have all the answers. Instead, God uses these times to remind us that we need to trust in him because only he knows what is best for our lives. It was very encouraging, and definitely something I needed to hear at this point in my journey. As more and more yawning appeared around the room Ben decided it was time to go. He prayed over each of us, we gave Doris and Morning Star hugs goodnight, and went to bed feeling less in control but much more at peace.

Day 55: And Cait, Even With All That Has Happened, I Still Love My Life!

2008-10-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

It was a bright and beautiful morning and I accidentally slept through my alarm. No worries, I woke up thirty minutes later than usual but still had enough time to get ready. I was extra bubbly, listening to music while I put my somewhat frizzy hair up, and walked down to the Clinic ready to go. Thankfully I was needed in the pharmacy this morning so I counted pills and helped Grace plan which hairstyle she wants for her December wedding. Ibuprofin and wedding magazines: who knew that working with medicine could be so much fun?

Biana had asked Helen earlier if she would be willing to share her testimony with me to bring back to Fresno First. She happily agreed and met me before lunchtime on the planters in front of the Clinic. Before speaking she sold me a few yards of fabric (that woman knows how to sweet talk!) for a skirt and started into her story. It was absolutely amazing. She is a strong woman in spirit and faith; and her testimony is such an encouragement looking at the darkness surrounding HIV. I jotted down notes, gave her a hug as she went back to work with Doctor Isilowe, and wandered down to the flat for some needed lunch.

After filing up on mashed potatoes and veggies Adrie and I had fun with photo booth. There is something so entertaining about taking pictures on the computer! We walked back down to Faith Alive and she stopped by Blessing’s shop to ask if she could be interviewed next for our little project. I wrote part of my article in Biana’s office and took time for e-mailing. I read a particularly difficult message and had an equally difficult phone call before falling apart back in the office. Thankfully I live with two amazing women who I was able to talk with, pray with, and find joy with. God is in control of situations, not me, and it is good to remember that from time to time. Still, it took a lot of energy out of the rest of my day.

Back home the three of us enjoyed dinner (Baba force-fed the last of the pineapple to Adrie!) and decided that we were in desperate need of stress relief. We had a chat while our food settled and then pulled out the cardio pilates video where we stretched and kicked our way through questions. I took a long bucket bath afterwards, called home, and talked to Adrie before collapsing from the day. Sleep is good, and God is better.

I’m on the up and up...

Day 54: Why Is It That You Can Sing And Dance To These Songs With Kids But Adults Just Laugh At You?

2008-10-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

It is getting harder to get out of bed every morning since, a) I have adjusted to the time difference and am staying up later, b) It is getting a little cooler in the mornings so being in bed feels good, and c) My dreams are so realistic that it takes a few minutes to register where I am once i open my eyes. Nonetheless I am able to finally roll out of bed with a smile ready for cereal, yogurt, and a good day ahead of me!

Determined to finish The Book as quick as possible Adrie and I went to work this morning with both our original government book and a second one for the patient information that didn’t fit. It gave me a good chance to turn on my itunes to rock out to Mates of State and the Beatles while I worked. I got the overflow done by lunchtime (mind you the computer team messed up on the numbering so there were huge empty chunks) so I felt pretty good about that. Baba made his excellent fries for lunch and I was able to get a letter typed up to e-mail later in the day before heading down to the Clinic.

I was hoping to catch Helen at some point to interview her for a project the three of us are working on for Fresno First but I wasn’t able to find her. Sholah had run into me yesterday afternoon and asked if I wouldn’t mind stopping by the lab when I got a chance during the week to write down the lyrics for the Mustard Seed Song. He is the children’s leader at his church and is always looking for new songs, stories, and games for his kids to enjoy. I walked in to the lab to say Hello and hand him the lyrics when he asked if I wouldn’t mind singing it for him so he could get the tune down right. It was a little strange singing and dancing while people around me did blood work in white coats, but hey, you only live once. He said his kids were going to love the song and hoped he could learn more fun songs with hand motions...Sholah was talking to the right girl. I was able to teach him Lord I Lift Your Name On High and Waves Of Mercy there at his work station and this time he agreed to stand up and try it out with me. We drew a bit of a crowd since all the others working in the lab wanted to come over and watch our performance; we even had people clapping. I reminded Sholah that I had tons of other songs in my head that we could work on later. He tried to thank me but I told him that the people who deserved the thanks are the past generations of Timber Mountain counselors who sing those crazy songs every week. (Of course, if they were in front of a group of Nigerian lab technicians it may look a little different than being in front of their normal crowd of campers covered in dirt.)

After some quick e-mailing I walked back to the flat where I collapsed on my bed for a half hour, only to be woken by a huge fight going on across the street. People love to yell here--this husband and wife must have been the yelling champions. Dinner was nice and I am glad that Baba is trying to teach me more Hausa. It sounds pretty ugly coming from my mouth, but we’re making progress. “You try good!” as Baba always tells me. He wanted to know if I was staying for Christmas and when I told him I would be back home then he asked if he could make me his special Christmas dinner before leaving. That sounded delightful, so I agreed and he told me that it is a secret until it is on the table. I bet it’s something exciting...

Back upstairs Adrie, Biana, and I lounged around the living room (Biana recuperating from a long typical Monday) and talked about whatever hit our minds: tattoos, camping, church, all things near and dear to my heart. We laughed a lot as we reminisced about hiding spots in our old sanctuary and boogie-boarding in Cayucos. There is something special about looking back on exciting events while you are in the midst of another. I know I will be talking to these two in a few years asking, “Remember that time in Nigeria when...”

What I would give to play flashlight tag in our old sanctuary one more time.

Day 53: I Don’t See Any Need To Change Out Of Pajamas.

2008-10-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Missing church is not looked highly upon here. It seems that the times you miss a Sunday service require an understandable emergency, and even then people will ask you about it to verify. Biana and Adrie were not feeling very good this morning, Biana getting over a cold and Adrie having a sore back, so we thought it best not to go to church. I know we will get asked about it by everyone we work with tomorrow morning--maybe we should think of some good stories to make excuses out of.

Since we didn’t leave the flat this morning I spent time with God reading through the Sermon on the Mount, thinking through the Lord’s Prayer particularly, and talking to him about what’s been going on. Sometimes I forget about God’s role when I get distracted with life events, so it’s good for me to have a quiet time every once in a while to refocus. I eventually picked up The Glass Castle to see where the Walls childhood was going and ended up finishing the entire book by lunchtime. I just love memoirs! For lunchtime I put together some potato quesadillas out of our leftovers, which turned out to be pretty tasty, and watched a movie with Adrie that was on tv.

Adrie and I wandered down to the Clinic in the afternoon to check up on e-mails and do some computer work. I noticed I had three new messages in my inbox and ended up crying after opening each one. The first was Kori and Doug’s wedding invitation, which made me incredibly happy, followed by a couple pictures of Gavin he took for me last night. That one made me cry the hardest since he looks like such a grown-up with his beard--plus a big sister needs to spend time with her brother! The last was a detailed update on life from Matthew Wallace. I was so excited to read and see all that was going on (in Fresno and Sydney) and have been blessed to have family and friends who want to keep me updated when I am far from home, even if just for a few weeks.

Baba cooked a good dinner and after eating Adrie and I enjoyed our second dance party/sing-a-long in her room. We concluded our time with “Part of Your World” complete with the princess-voice and synchronized twirling. Biana told us that Father of the Bride had just come on in the living room so the three of us drank hot cocoa and watched that. With all the wedding plans and recent engagements going on in my friend’s lives it made the movie seem a little more real than before! Hooray for love! NEPA has been a little bipolar today so we decided on going to bed at a time when there was no power but just recently had all the lights switch on again. I’ll turn off the lights once i am done typing this; electricity or not I am going to sleep!

Day 52: Well, So Far Today We’ve Done Absolutely Nothing...

2008-10-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

Saturdays always come as a huge breath of fresh air in our sometimes chaotic schedules here. It’s nice to know that it is the one day where we allowed to have no plans and no fear of plans sneaking up on us. Don’t get me wrong, it is great to have crazy surprises during the week, but it is also necessary to get a chance to sit and do nothing.

Since I have had the pleasure of reading real stories here (not textbooks) I was able to start the Glass Castle this morning and am already halfway through. I eat up any sort of memoir, especially bizarre ones. I just love it when people are willing to share their story. Jeanette Walls in this particular piece is reflecting on her unusual childhood of living in various desert cities while her carefree parents drove the family into poverty trying to find gold and make a career out of painting. I am always reminded how blessed I am to have grown up with the particular memories I have, with parents who didn’t expect me to start cooking my own meals at three years old or move in the middle of the night to another city to escape bill collectors.

After a bit of reading (I woke up really early) I made myself some gluten-free pancakes and enjoyed some piece and quiet around the apartment. NEPA deserted us around eight so I took a bucket bath by lantern and finally felt like my hair was normal. With all the dust swirling around these days it is hard to feel particularly clean, even when you are only outside for a short amount of time. I took a quick nap before lunch to make up for waking up so early and wandered down for a good lunch with Adrie and Biana.

Adrie and I took the afternoon to do some in-depth e-mailing at the Clinic. It is hard to find the time to get in touch with everyone you think about during the day simply because we only have internet access on the third floor of Faith Alive. Contacting people from the comfort of our flat is out of the question, which is where I normally remember what I need to say to people. I talked to my family for a little while, got updated on facebook, and did some browsing for travel costs at this point in time. I don’t think I will be able to afford another trip for quite some time--even if I’m just going to another part of California!

Baba made us a nice dinner and the three of us headed back up to the flat when NEPA decided to come home. Biana found something interesting on tv while Adrie and I, like old times, cooped ourselves up in her room and drank hot cocoa while listening to music and telling stories. We decided it was a good time for a dance party so we each chose a few songs to play and sing along to. I think that should count as our physical activity for the day. I’ll go to bed with a million songs running through my head.

Day 51: Oh My Gosh, Someone Actually Agreed With Us!

2008-10-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

It was one of those acousticy mornings so I got ready with the help of Rufus Wainwright and Joan Baez before walking with Adrie down to the Clinic. We are trying our best to finish The Book as quick as possible so I needed to check in with Ema about some things. It looks like we are in the home stretch, praise the Lord! We didn’t have much time to work on a project since we were being picked up in the van around 10 to head out to another area of Jos to visit a school. So we worked on the book, did a little computer time, and walked outside to wait for Greg. We waited....and waited...and finally called Naomi to discover that our ride was running behind because he was picking up food.

Just after 11 Greg pulled up to the Clinic with Pam and Sally. Adrie, Joshua, Naomi, and myself all hopped in and we made a quick stop to pick up boxes of food before continuing on our journey to the school being held at St. Matthew’s Church on the outskirts of Jos. When we arrived we were directed to a small one-roomed building where 75 children sat in rows of concrete benches jutting out from the walls. An entire elementary school in one room--it reminded me of my Grandpa’s schoolhouse back in River Falls, Wisconsin. Up at the front of this classroom stood a young woman with a blackboard going over the math lesson for the day. Once we entered the kids got excited and stood up to give us their Welcome Song. It was very sweet. Naomi spoke in Hausa to the class and was able to find out that the woman leading wasn’t the teacher but actually the teacher’s daughter filling in for the day. We brought in the boxes of food and were able to distribute a small container of rice with a small piece of meat to every child plus some of the adults we found outside. The kids were grateful for a good lunch. I sat in the back with the four toddlers who found their way inside and made sure that their containers got opened and were not tipped over onto the floor. Everyone chewed and smiled. While the kids were still eating we were able to wander out the door to the temporary structure that is being built for these students. A group from Fort Collins, Colorado is helping fund this three-room school, which hopefully will be ready to use soon. This building will allow the kids to be divided into the proper age groups for learning and will hopefully provide for the salary of two more teachers. I stood for a while outside the classroom and looked out across the green countryside. It was remarkable how much the view from the school resembled the view from the hillside at Woodward Park looking towards Valley Children’s Hospital. Just more green and less cars. We said our goodbyes after a while there and headed back down the dirt road toward the center of Jos.

Naomi remembered she needed to make a quick stop for the Faith Alive Administration and we pulled up to a government-funded orphanage. We all followed her inside the compound and ran into the new woman in charge, who happens to be Naomi’s aunt (neither of them had realized the other would be there). She told us a bit about the ministry, and how the hope was that they would no longer need to exist in a few months. Family members or other adults in the community believe it is their responsibility to care for children who find themselves without parents in Nigeria; it is not common for a child to be left behind. There are still nine children being cared for at the orphanage, four of them just infants. We were allowed to meet the kids and as we were walking towards the nursery a toddler darted out from a doorway and literally jumped into my arms. I immediately realized that he was wet but decided that holding on to pee-pants was going to be worth it. Adrie and Naomi found babies in the nursery who wanted some attention while Pam sat with a young boy lying on a mat who is unable to walk. There was even a puppy running around which Sally was trying to pet. Joshua spent the time taking pictures. The lady told me my friend’s name was Gabriel, and I must say that he was quite possibly my favorite child in the world. He continually tried to feed me the candy his sticky fingers were grasping but I reminded him that the peppermint was for him. He spoke to me in baby-Hausa and I listened with my English ears. Every once in a while he would tell me a great story because he would throw his head back and laugh with his eyes closed. Oh it was love! We danced a bit and he showed me how he could kick a ball (even with his lack of shoes) and I regretted that it was time to go so soon. I need to find a way to get back there and spend time with those beautiful children.

We got back to the Clinic feeling tried but good. Adrie and I had a very late lunch at the flat and I enjoyed a power-nap before heading back for computer time. Pam joined us in Joshua’s office and we had a wonderful chat with her about things we struggle with being here. We all agreed that the two hardest things to cope with are, first, constantly being told what our political system looks like (Why yes, I had realized that about the American presidential election. In case you forgot I am American and vote in those very elections you are telling me all about.) and second, the tension between different people groups. Many here seem very cold towards other religions, belief groups, and even tribes. They can’t seem to understand why we always want to hear both sides the story, hear the good and bad of every situation. Pam has been doing medical research in a nearby village the past few weeks and she said it is hard to use a translator since they always want to bring their personal bias into the data (“She said ‘No’ to that question but I reminded her that God will disprove of...’). It is nice to have some other Americans here to discuss these sorts of issues with. If I were having to process these things with only a computer screen I think I would go crazy.

Dinner, hot cocoa, and an itunes party in Adrie’s room were a great ending to a beautiful day. I am desperately missing the kids back home tonight and hope they aren’t doing too much growing up without me around.

Day 50: Oyibo Bye Bye.

2008-10-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

It is really hard to believe that we have been in Nigeria for 50 days. It looks like such a long time on paper but when you are experiencing it time just seems to speed up....

I woke up this morning with an angry stomach from our meal last night so I wisely chose to spend the morning at the flat. I got some work done in The Book and Adrie and I believe that they just handed us the last stack of data to be entered into it. If that is the case we should be able to be rid of it by next week! Hallelujah! Writing things in it today did not seem as awful knowing that there is a light at the end of this AIDSrelief-inflicted tunnel.

Jon and Kristen got the last of their things together just before lunchtime and we enjoyed our last family meal together for a while. The Draskovics have come to the end of their three months in Jos are flying out of Abuja tomorrow to head to Minneapolis on Saturday afternoon. They have been a huge part of my experience here thus far and I have grown to know them very well. Our little group of five has spent every night processing our experiences here, sharing stories, praying together, and inviting each other into our lives. It will be very different without them around and I know it will take some adjusting. It would have been a very sad sending off as they packed their boxes into Gody’s SUV, but the truth is the next phase of their lives is starting soon after they get home. Kristen has been hired for a position with the University of Minnesota with her dietician expertise and Jon is searching for the right seminary to jump into. This should give them an excuse to travel out to California at some point and/or another Caitlin road trip to the great unknown! I am so excited to see where God is taking them.

After waving them down the street Adrie and I spent some time with The Book while we talked and listened to music. When we decided my stomach could handle an out-of-the-apartment excursion we went down to the Clinic. It must have been a pretty relaxed day because there were hardly any people around. We went upstairs to check our e-mail and had the joy of sharing the afternoon with Joshua, sharing what life was going to look like when we got home. He thought it was particularly funny that both Adrie and I, after two years out of the house, are moving back in with our parents. Apparently that is not done here. Ever. Cultural differences are so interesting, especially since many are not obvious and are only discovered through conversation.

We lost track of time talking with Joshua so we hurried home before it got too dark and walked in the door just as NEPA abandoned us. Finding food by lantern we fixed some leftover curry and plopped ourselves in front of one of my least favorite inventions: the television. I have watched triple the amount of tv here than I do back home, but most of that is due to the fact we aren’t allowed to go outside after dark. When the sun goes down at six that is quite a bit of time to kill! Two Weeks Notice is fairly entertaining so the three girls enjoyed our little love story before deciding we were tired enough to get ready for bed.

It will be really strange to not see Team D around tomorrow. I guess all that is left is Team ABC.

Day 49: No Need To Thank Me, I’m Just Doing My Job.

2008-10-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up today with some extra energy, so I figured God had some interesting things in store for me. Those are always the best! Staff meeting started as usual, but with Jon and Kristen leaving tomorrow the staff wanted to give them a final chance to speak. The two of them had decided a few days ago to leave the staff with a song--a song that the Fresno First trio had taught them about a little seed of mustard. So the five of us got up in front of the staff, made everyone stand up, and taught them how to move those mountains! (No, we didn’t sing it in Spanish. Y la montaña se movera...) I have never seen a group of people laugh so hard in my life. We spent a good part of ten minutes pushing our neighbor into the wall and waving around an invisible mustard seed. What a way to start a morning!

With some of my extra energy already put to good use I figured I would be helpful in the pharmacy. It’s been two whole days since I was there so we were all excited about this reunion. Matthew told me to stop leaving but I tried my best to explain to him that I was involved in many different aspects of Faith Alive. I was able to blast through five full bottles while I enjoyed the loud conversation going on around me about the dos and don’ts of marriage. Grace is getting married in December (after I leave, dang it!) so Matthew, the only married pharmacist, thought it would be a good idea to share his wealth of knowledge with all of us. It was quite entertaining. Bride prices, legal documents, traveling to your home village, it all sounds fairly complicated to me!

After a good lunch we agreed for the second day in a row on the blessing of a communal naptime (are we starting to look like Spain?) so I revved up my energy level even more once I woke up. Adrie and I watched the end of 50 First Dates before heading back to the Clinic where, to all of our surprise, almost all the patients had cleared out! Apparently everyone was working quickly today. Without much to do Adrie and I caught up with life in Fresno via facebook while the Draskovics called potential apartment candidates in St. Paul, where they will be moving in just over two weeks! They heard good things from a few receptionists and I was blessed to receive lots of good news from various people back home. Yay!

We didn’t have much time when we got back to the flat to get ourselves looking nice for Jon and Kristen’s final dinner in Jos. The heads of department from Faith Alive take all their volunteers out to a nice Lebanese restaurant nearby as a way to say Thank You. Adrie and I were excited to join the dozen other staff members and had a fabulous (though gluten-filled) family-style meal. Rice, chicken, hummus, salad, meat pies, it was delicious. As we were talking and eating I took a drink of my pineapple-coconut juice and realized there was something red dripping down my glass: blood. As if I didn’t look out-of-place enough at a nice Lebanese sit-down dining room in Jos, I had one of the most massive bloody noses of my lifetime. Luckily I was sitting across from a doctor so without hesitation Old School grabbed my hand and led me to the restroom while I bled all over a white linen napkin. It was quite a memorable experience, me sitting by the sink while Old School tenderly held some ice in a washcloth against my nose. He made sure I was all cleaned up before walking back out to finish my food. When I tried to thank him for helping me out he shook his head and told me, “Cait, my dear, no need to thank me. I am just doing my job.” What a Grandpa! The rest of the meal went smoothly and everyone had a nice time. We were all very full by the end of it.

Back at the flat the five of us took our family portraits before the three upstairs enjoyed some chocolate out on the balcony. It was a dusty night (which my nose already informed me) but still quiet and beautiful. It was nice to have a few minutes to breathe before heading off to bed.

Day 48: Is It Seriously Only 8:30?

2008-10-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

This morning was Jon and Kristen’s last discipleship class so they decided to bring up a topic we have all avoided since we got here: African mysticism in Christianity. It is a touchy subject because so many people here, mostly the older generation, have developed allowed myths and superstition to become a huge part of their faith. Jon said he wanted to face the issue head-on, so he did! The women in class shared what beliefs were floating around regarding bad lack, demonic powers, and omens. Jon was able to bring up many passages of Scripture dealing directly with God speaking out against witchcraft and various cursing, reminding Israel that He is the only force that can change the course of history. A couple of the women had questions (which is always the best way to learn!) and they seemed relieved to have finally been told that they don’t need to worry about people planting curses in the ground or feel afraid when they see a cockroach enter a room. God is bigger than any human words or actions!

Adrie and I headed to the Clinic after our morning class and Biana told us she was going home early to get some rest. None of us have been feeling particularly good since the dust started settling in. We did some computer work, watched an Abba music video, and listened to the reggae Shagan was playing loudly from his desktop. There were quite a few things we needed to respond to from home so we took the rest of the morning replying to e-mails before walking to lunch.

A man named Iyo was talking to Biana when we got there and told us that he used to be an administrator at Faith Alive before he took a medical job. It was nice to hear him catch Biana up on life for a little bit, but we were all starving once he left for the library. We devoured our lunch and decided that we were in need of a lazy day. While Jon and Kristen continued packing up their things, Biana took a nap, Adrie found CSI to help her get along in the Book, and I got caught up on my Practicum assignments. It was crazy to log all my hours over the past six weeks, we put in quite a bit of time helping out here! Adrie came in to my room after we had gotten further in our projects and we made room for some girl talk. It’s nice to have a friend here who has been a part of my life since i can remember, it makes for some great conversation and processing. We talked about things that are coming up at home, how things are going to look different once we get back to Fresno, and what we hope to do over the next few weeks.

Dinner was quiet. Jon was falling asleep in his potatoes and the girls didn’t have the energy to start any sort of discussion topic so we just ate. We decided it was a movie night so once Jon went off to bed we headed upstairs and watched The Darjeeling Limited. I have never had a particular desire spend much time in India, but it does look like an interesting place to visit. Robert has told me horror stories about the train rides he endured there but the guys in the movie seem to do pretty well. There was no sense in trying to stay up much later after the credits rolled so at 8:30 we all sleepily said Good Night and went to bed after a good but particularly uneventful day.

Day 47: This Was Actually A Pretty Tame Monday.

2008-10-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

It was very hard to get up this morning after such a draining night but I knew I had to get myself together to head over to the sewing school. Today was my first chance to lead discussion with this group of women and I was excited, and a little nervous, to do so. Getting everything together I walked outside into a nice breezy day and said Hello to all my neighbors on the way to the Social Services Center. Class started a little behind schedule (or on Nigerian time) seeing as we had a few crying babies to tend to before opening in song. God has been reminding me of what His family looks like while I am here so I shared what it means to be a child of God and sisters in Christ. Teaching on subjects that hit close to home ends up helping the leader grow and learn even more than the students. It is always a good reminder, especially far from your biological family, to realize that wherever you go there are kindred spirits to take you in as a child, sibling, a member of the family. There are some here who have done a particularly good job at that and I hope to act the same way once I become the one at home to reach out to other traveling brothers and sisters.

I walked back to the Clinic and up to Biana’s office where she had a few things for me to write. Adrie and I are going to sit down with a few people on staff and listen to their stories to share with our congregation for Advent. It takes me a while to put my thoughts into words (well, words that form cohesive English phrases) so by the time I was done lunch had rolled around. We walked back to the flat and discussed how much we missed the beach as the Jos wind blew around us. I guess this is the closest we can get to an ocean breeze for a while. Lunch filled us up and reminded all five of us how tired we were so we decided on a communal nap. Communal in the sense we were all resting, but we thought it best to find our own rooms to lie down in.

After a rejuvenating power nap Biana and I headed back to the Clinic where we saw things had quieted down a great deal from the normal morning rush. There was not much for me to do besides computer work so I spent some needed time planning my school schedule for next semester, replying to family and friends e-mails, and stalking those who I miss on facebook. Oh the joys of technology when you are far from home! I wandered into the office where Team D was working and spent the time before dinner discussing African superstitions with Jon while Kristen yelled at the computer for not allowing her to attach photos to an e-mail for her church. It has been very strange to come across various myths and delusions that many Christians have bought into here. Jon has been reading articles regarding this topic over the past few weeks and shared with me that many African pastors blame this problem on early missionaries allowing old wive’s tales to remain in the Church in order to make the transformation from animism to Christianity easier for the tribes they encountered. I want to talk to Pastor Ben about this more; it’s so crazy!

Dinner was on Baba-time so we were very hungry when food made it to the table. Luckily there were fried plantains so I was ok with the delay. A friend of Dr. Chris is spending the night at the downstairs apartment after proctoring an exam at Juth Medical today. He seemed like a nice guy, but only wanted to talk about American politics. Discussions on the election and the NRA just get really tiring after the fiftieth person comes up to tell you all they know about your county’s policies. After eating we needed some mindless activity to keep us occupied (going to bed is not an option at 7:30) and found the movie Red Eye on our favorite Arabic channel. It was much more suspenseful than it should have been because of our tired brains so we decided that would have to do for the night. Biana made some vanilla pudding from one of our boxes in the cupboard so we shared dessert before bed. It was good, but I think what was missing was Jesse’s pudding song and Missy dancing with a giant spoon. That’s the best way to eat pudding.

Day 46: Turn To Your Neighbor And, If Needed, Turn Their Sleep Into Slap!

2008-10-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

I did not realize when I woke up early this morning refreshed and ready to go that this would be one of the longest days of my life. Not one of those melodramatic Everything-Is-Going-Wrong longest days, instead an If-This-Lasts-Another-Minute-I-Will-Go-Crazy longest days.

My internal alarm clock woke me up before the one sitting on my nightstand so I took the opportunity to enjoy a slow breakfast, a bucket bath, and two chapters from Three Cups of Tea. I am used to rushing around on Sunday mornings in Fresno (and I guess at Camp, too) so it was nice to take my time before putting on my Nigerian church clothes and walking down to meet up with Jon and Kristen. The three of us walked down the street to Latter Glory Church, an hour into a service that was still going strong with music and dancing, and took our seats. We enjoyed the time of joyful praise that led into the Pastor’s message on God being our fortress. He spent a lot of time in the Psalms, going over how we as humans will never know or feel true security until we put our trust in the Lord. He related our struggle with feeling insecure without Christ with the world’s attempts to create manmade security for protection. “Why do our countries spend so much money on creating weapons and tightening surveillance on each other and neglect our duty to the people who are more worried about getting food on their table?” I’m going to have to chew on that one for a while. After a great talk that resonated well with everyone in the room the three oyibos thought things were over for the service. Next thing we knew Jon and Kristen were being called on-stage to announce that it was their final Sunday in Nigeria and take the time to thank and pray for them. It was a nice send-off for the couple who has worshipped here their whole three-month stay in Jos. Communion was wheeled out to the front of the room, which we all took part in, and I realized it was already 12:15, a little past the normal schedule. The pastor walked back onto the stage for what I presumed was the closing prayer, but it turned out to be his speech regarding an honorary doctorate he just received.

*Side Note: Honorary doctorate? This man went away for a couple weeks to Lagos to a university there and was given the title of “Doctor Reverand” for some reason I could not quite pick up on. He went on and on about how proud he was to have worked so hard for this, but in truth he did nothing except pay a little cash to attend a short class. Apparently this happens quite a bit here and, as Ben has told me, leads to the problem of ill-equipped pastors leading congregations with twisted doctrine.

He brought his certificate and plaque to church with him and asked Dr. Simon (a true grad-school hard-working psychologist) to present it to him. Once it was all read the place erupted and we had a massive dance party to congratulate the new “Doctor” on his title. I must admit the dancing was fun, but everyone was expected at some point during this celebration to go up to the front and slip some naira into a basket the pastor was holding. I was ushered forward and shook his hand since I had already given my offering (but if I had any money I don’t think that would be the wisest choice)...hopefully not the most offensive moment of his day! By this point it was 12:45 and a man was called forward to share a song. He gave a short testimony and sang, followed by the Pastor telling the congregation that he believed Jon and Kristen would be this man’s passage into America. Good Lord your service is getting crazier. A few more songs, a closing prayer, and a mandatory time of refreshments to celebrate the pastor’s achievements. I staggered out of Church at 1:27.

Walking back to the flat I hoped that the rest of the day would go smoother than this morning. A quick lunch remedied my lethargic mood and I had a few minutes to finish Three Cups of Tea (it was fabulous!) before heading to Support Group meeting. Jon and Kristen were supposed to be sharing this afternoon and I was excited to hear what they had to say. Biana, Adrie, and I ran into Sally Barlow, the US coordinator who helped get us all here, at the Clinic. She is on a short trip to Jos meeting up with her partner Pam, whom I have gotten to spend some time with over the past few weeks. They are both lovely women. Sally was also asked to speak at Support Group so she started off the session teaching us all some useful stretches for people who’s bodies are not as strong as they used to be. Once she was done and the singing and announcements were completed, Team D only had five minutes to talk before we ran to our next outing. They gave a short spiel on what their trip looked like before we ran to Greg and the van to take us to our final event of the night.

The African Godly Mothers is a group of Nigerian women who are working on strengthening and empowering females across the country to share the love of God effectively and spread the Gospel. Pastor Ben is connected with their organization and invited the five of us to one of their seasonal banquets. We got there just after 4:00 and were seated right away. The program began a little late but the small room was filled when it started. The first part of the night consisted of some short testimonies (Biana got the chance to speak on having a mission-mindset), a time of intercessory prayer, and a jellof rice dinner while they ran a short documentary on Bible translation in Northern Kaduna State. Pastor Ben got up to speak/scream and went on for a good hour about spoken prophecies from world prayer meetings over the past few years saying Nigeria has been chosen by God as the true place to send out the Gospel. It was really bizarre and my ears hurt from his constant yelling into the microphone. I was definitely feeling the itch to leave once he was done at 6:30 but gave up all hope when he handed the microphone to another man sitting at the head table. I started praying that no one else would be given permission to speak after this man and another woman took up 45 minutes sharing stories completely unrelated to the banquet’s purpose. There was then a cake-cutting, award giving, more prayer, more thanking of people,...I was actually going crazy. I could not keep my feet still and the four others around the table were either zoning out into space or trying hard not to make the person sitting next to them laugh by rolling their eyes. We finally got in the van to head home at 8:20. I was ready to run a marathon.

Back at the flat I made a promise not to do much in particular but was reminded by Jon and Kristen that tomorrow morning is my first time to lead Discipleship Class. God, keep me awake to get ready tonight. And please don’t allow me to speak for too long or scream at the women I am discussing with tomorrow. Because as much as I love the pastors here, I don’t want to preach like them.

Day 45: Draw 2?! No Breakfast For You Tomorrow!

2008-10-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

Our cupboards have been nicely stocked with no-bake desserts, cereals, breads, mixes of many kinds, and various spices and seasonings the entire time Adrie and I have been here. Biana decided that it was time to put all those into use. So this morning she made us gluten-free pancakes (delicious) and went to work getting together peanut-butter chocolate no-bake cookies and preparing for our big dinner tonight. I realized right away it was going to be a nice relaxing day at home.

Taking the advantage of having no set plans I enjoyed reading more of my book and got some homework assignments further along before lunch. After eating Adrie, Kristen, and I enjoyed some girl talk around the kitchen table and spent a lot of time laughing over sibling stories. I was brought back to a time in my life where I peeked inside boxes hiding Christmas gifts and was always willing to be the sick patient playing doctor because I knew Erin was always right! Kristen and Jon have definitely become part of our family and it is going to be really tough to see them leave on Thursday. I still can’t quite picture what life in Nigeria is going to be like without them around, they have been here every day of our trip thus far!

A nice pilates session in the middle of the day prepared us for the food coming later and gave us all a good stretch. I wandered down to the Clinic to make some important phone calls (making sure I stopped by Sonny’s booth to say Hello) and was glad to talk to my family and my boy. As rustic and adaptable as I would like to seem, I don’t know how I would survive being this far away from home without the convenience of the internet and phone lines. Sometimes you just need to hear certain people’s voices to remind you of what life normally looks like. After hanging up I rushed back to the flat to see what else needed to get done before our party started.

At 5:45 I walked into the kitchen where Naomi, Biana, Kristen, and Adrie were all working quickly to get our dinner on the table. Frying, dicing, mixing, arranging. Another body would have made things a little chaotic in such a small space so Jon and I decided to be mature adults and help out by sitting in the living room watching Eight Legged Freaks until someone acknowledged we were needed. Once everything was out on the table Joshua and his family arrived so we could get things started. We gathered around for prayer and then Biana reviewed what we had: chicken tacos (thanks to Sally’s corn tortilla contribution), creamed corn, beans, tomatoes, lettuce, homemade guacamole (well done Adrie!), peanut-butter chocolate cookies, and a Jello cheescake. I was able to demonstrate how a taco is put together for the Nigerians who were trying them for the first time, after which we all dug in. It may not have been Super Burro quality, but it was darn near close! After not eating anything remotely resembling Mexican food since the day before I left on my flight this meal was exceptionally wonderful. We ate in the living room and enjoyed each other’s company, a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Once we were done, Joshua’s children JJ (age 6) and Jonelle (age 2) became our entertainment as they jumped rope, ran around the room, and found new uses out of a piece of cardboard lying around. The adults decided to play Uno when the kids stopped caring if we were watching them. I was able to teach Joshua how to shuffle cards like an American (he did a great job) and he in return showed me how to deal like a Nigerian (I was not so good). Our first round of Uno went quickly with all of us laughing, trying to see how many cards we could make the person next to us draw. Joelle would come up periodically and throw all the cards to draw onto the floor so we had to keep an eye on her sneaky hand coming in. Joshua and his wife Vicky made the mistake of sitting next to each other (they were out to make the other person lose!) and we continually modified the rules to make the game more exciting. We decided on a second game but after an hour of people saying “Uno” and then picking up ten cards we all cheered with delight when Joshua placed his winning blue 0 down on the stack. By then it was 9:00, past the kids (and Kristen’s) bedtime so we thanked them for coming, picked up the cards, and headed off to another restful night.

Day 44: I’m Very Glad To Be Alive Today!

2008-10-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

There isn’t a better feeling than waking up to a new day and being ready for it! After the stress that was finally realized and released yesterday I know that God is going to keep me moving forward. So I got out of bed ready to see what the day brought! This morning I spent back in the pharmacy after three full days of not stepping a foot inside. Isaiah and Peju said that they were all going crazy without me helping there and I admitted that I was going crazy without being there. It is nice to feel needed; not needed because pills weren’t being counted but needed because a piece was missing from a little group of friends. It was a pretty hectic day in there (as always) so instead of much conversation I had the time to think while I worked. I am already starting to realize how my perception of life has changed over the past 43 days...

Adrie came and got me right before 11 to head out to the van. Kristen needed to be driven out to Elim Primary School to speak with the principal there about sponsorship issues and said we could tag along. I am discovering on this trip just how much I love new experiences! It was quite a drive through Jos along the main city streets and ending on bumpy dirt roads heading up some rocky hills on the outskirts of the larger population. Greg stopped in front of a modest metal gate with “Elim School” painted across it so we got out and pushed it open. The minute we walked into the little courtyard we were surrounded by kids. I was immediately taken back to Timber Mountain and felt right at home with all the nine-year-old hugs. Francisca, a sixth-grader in a bright blue uniform with matching beret, transferred my giant purse from my shoulder to her own and took my hand to escort me around her school. We met with the lady who started this school three years ago, another Kate, and she shared with us her vision for this little place. She told us that this part of Jos, because it is far removed from the hustle and bustle, was neglected a public school because of lack of government funding. The parents in the neighborhood were told they would need to send their children to different parts of the city to learn. With the unreasonable cost of transportation, uniforms, and other school fees the children of this neighborhood were left uneducated. When Kate realized this problem so asked the nearby Baptist church for permission to use some of their unused small buildings and started Elim School. There are now close to one hundred children learning in the four pink buildings. We were able to visit with the kindergarteners, who sang us a lovely song, and some of the upper-level children who welcomed us to Jos. We were sad to need to leave after just a short amount of time but were invited to return whenever we have the chance. I have to get back to this school before I leave Nigeria.

Greg brought us back into town in time for lunch and Team D invited Adrie and I to head over to the museum shops where they needed to complete their final shopping needs. Adrie went the other day so opted to stay home, but I was up for another new and exciting adventure! It was a good walk, just under two kilometers, but crossing crazy motorbike traffic always stresses me out. The shops are in an area of Jos that includes history museums, the school, and more oyibo tourists than other parts of the city. It was nice to see some trees! We wandered around the little artisan shops for a good hour or so looking and bartering. There are so many beautiful paintings, wood carvings, funky pieces of jewelry, and odd trinkets. Jon and Kristen bought a really nice painting and I spent most of my time talking with Elizabeth, the owner of one of the shops, while we chose necklaces that would look good on each other. She talked me into buying the one she chose for me. Walking back to the flat was a little warmer than before but we were able to spot some lizards, rams, and two donkeys to add to our knowledge of Jos wildlife. Of course we also saw the dozens of motorbike drivers peeing on walls or into gutters. Some things are just not a huge issue here.

Getting back I decided to take the rest of the day easy so Adrie and I headed to the Clinic for our daily e-mailing before dinner. Baba made baked potatoes tonight (oh gluten-free goodness!) and we decided to ditch the kitchen table in order to eat in front of the tv; Heavyweights was on! Again it brought me back to so many great memories of Sugar Pine... After our movie I decided for a quiet evening with Mae, my computer, and Three Cups of Tea before dozing off. Thank God it’s Friday

Day 43: Who Has Been Able To Say They Sat On A Balcony In Nigeria Under A Full Moon And Watched A Lightning Storm?

2008-10-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Waking up this morning was a difficult task seeing as I was struggling to breathe through my nose. This crazy dust is trying to get the best of me! Adrie and I both weren’t feeling the greatest and were not sure who wanted to stay home more this morning and work on The Book. We came to the agreement that she would be at the flat while I went to discipleship class and the pharmacy, then switch in the afternoon. So after a quick scrub with a bucket bath I made my way down to the sewing school and played with the babies for a few minutes before things got started. I wasn’t feeling the greatest, but good enough to stand and sing, when Adrie appeared in the door telling me we were given a new assignment.

Task: Archived File Sorting. Motivation Level: 0. Adrie and I were given keys to the archived file closest (which we put together a few weeks ago) and told to look through every file and pull out any patient that had been misplaced, meaning they were seen in 2008. The job had already been done a week or two before we arrived in Jos, but Dr. Chris was positive that some were missed and the hundreds of files needed to be looked at again. In the stuffy room we opened the paper files and read their patient history checking for dates before sticking them back in the correct placement in the box. I have been getting more frustrated with being told what to do with the added line of “...even though no one will look at this again” before we begin. Do they even want us here? With the amount of files we knew it would take us at least two full days to get it done. It was hot, we were tired, and for the first time since I have been in Jos I started to feel really bad. Not bad as in angry, bad as in discouraged and sick and sad and...maybe overwhelmed is a better word. So I looked at Adrie and started to cry.

It is interesting when you have those moments in life where everything hits you at once. Today, sitting in the archived file room, I hit the wall. I have been holding in a lot of feelings about things going on back at home and new experiences here piling up within me. With my Aunt being sick, and missing my family and friends, and tedious tasks at the Clinic, and hearing exciting news about engagements and pregnancies, and spending time with people dying or imprisoned or confused, it suddenly all became too much to handle. I was feeling very far removed from my normal life and, on top of that, not enjoying my current state. My head was swimming, and my heart was starting to drown.

Adrie gave me the room to cry and listened to my frustrations with great tenderness. She made the executive decision to head back for lunch early, which gave me a little time to lie down and talk to God. When lunch came around Jon and Kristen picked up that we had a tough morning. They spent the meal asking questions, listening, and giving some wise advice. Their three-month period is coming to a close and they admitted to having the same feelings at multiple times during their stay. But, they reminded me, God doesn’t call people to do things that are pointless. We are here for a reason and he will bless us for following his will. Kristen handed me a letter from a woman I talked to at the Clinic yesterday who wanted to thank me for taking to time to sit and chat before leaving for her daily walk. Of course.

I was feeling a little better before prayer meeting and enjoyed Team D’s message on prayer. Jon and Kristen have done a wonderful job of approaching controversial topics here in a loving way with lots of Scriptural support. They talked about how people believe if they ask hard enough and with enough faith that God will answer their prayers, when really God wants to answer requests that are going to help the person grow. Prayer for wealth and physical healing are major parts of Christian life here, so it was a bold statement to say that maybe God doesn’t want a person to gain more money. We looked at the Lord’s Prayer and had a time of talking to the Lord together. When they were done sharing Uncle Thomas got up and seriously addressed that it was that it was almost the dreaded “ember” months (Nov-ember, Dec-ember). He told the crowd that these two months were the most deadly of the year because the “demons have a low blood bank” so they attack Christians. He said we needed to pray for the 1,700 people they were planning to kill in Nigeria over that amount of time. Whoa. I was really confused. Thankfully Pastor Ben got up to tell the staff that we need to rid of African superstition in our Christian lives and reminded us that these two months were the same as any other out of the year. It was the first time I had seen two Nigerian pastors disagree openly, and was glad to see that most seemed to side with Ben’s rationale.

After prayer meeting I was still recovering from this morning. After e-mails I was blessed to have a skype conversation with one Miss Louisa Gee, which brought such Scottish joy to my American heart! It was wonderful to see and talk to one of my best friends and our conversation really cheered me up. I went to dinner feeling much better and enjoyed our table talk about social issues in the States. Biana helped out my mood even more by letting Adrie and I know that a) She wasn’t going to let us finish the archived file project because it was not worth it, b) Saturday night we are attempting Mexican food, and c) The three of us should have hot cocoa before going to sleep.

As poorly as this day began there is no way to compare to how wonderfully it came to a close. Adrie, Biana, and I got ourselves mugs of hot cocoa and cinnamon rice cakes and set ourselves up out on the balcony. It was a full moon tonight and just as we sat down a lightning storm started in the distance. We spent over an hour sitting and sipping our hot chocolate in the cool breeze and talking about life. It was so nice to have girl talk, and even more nice to sit in silence and watch the clouds light up just above the rooftops to the east. It will be a wonderful day when one of us will look at the other two and say, Remember that time we chatted about this over cocoa during a Nigerian storm?

“With quiet words I’ll lead you in and out of the dark...”

Thanks God.

Day 42: Me? I May Be Here The Rest Of My Life.

2008-10-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

Wednesday mornings are either hit or miss. Staff meetings can fluctuate for any organization, but I feel that Faith Alive has even more loud personalities that make it a lively event. Today’s meeting was much more quiet than normal. Shegan sharing his thoughts on unity (taken from Philippians 2:1-11) and Dan gave everyone the quick overview of Saturday’s football match. No one had anything to argue about so our gathering ended early and with people in good spirits. I’m glad we have learned our past lessons about proper toilet care, electricity saving, and addressing people by their correct names. Onward and upward!

I thought I was working back in the pharmacy today but Greg came and got me right after our meeting to tell me I was needed back at the prison. He drove me across town and I had the task of trying to get inside with no Nigerian aid. The five burly uniformed men in front of the locked entrance gave me a bit of a tough time when they found out why I was there (“Will you take my blood, bature?”) but thankfully let me in without any further questioning. I didn’t even need to sign in with the official. I was warmly greeted by Simon, Esther, and Emmanuel setting up for testing but even more excited to see me were my registration friends. Nigerians have a tendency to do things at the last minute so we were worried about having a mad rush today, but those who hadn’t been tested earlier this week came in a nicely timed stream. Things died down considerably around ten and I found myself sitting with Prince, Ogolu, Lawrence, and Godspower with nothing else to do. We spent the next three hours in conversation and I realized exactly why God brought me back for another day.

Most Nigerians want to talk about America, but this group of men wanted to talk about Nigeria! Thank the Lord! I got a detailed history lesson and was able to hear much more about the three main tribal groups of this country; the Ibo, Yoruba, and Hausa. I was told that in the North there is constant battling over oil (something I hear in the news quite frequently) but a suppressed native tribe is causing even more tension. They explained to me how their justice system works and I filled them in on how the American government punishes criminal offenders. Admittedly I have not spent much time in prison, but I can clearly see the differences in the Jos Main Prison and the tall cement building in downtown Fresno. I was too shy to ask any of the men why they were in Jos Prison but was surprised when Prince opened up about his story:

Prince is from a northern state of Nigeria and trained in school to be a government official. He moved into a nice job after the required year of service and was serving with the peacekeeping forces of the police system in his community. As a young man, he admits, he was not terribly sensible and wanted more power. He became wrapped up in a plot with four other men from his unit to get another police officer fired. I didn’t quite understand all the intricate details, but the police officer was killed because of their scheme. None of the five men were the murderer, but when word leaked of their original plan all five were tried. Prince looked me square in the eye and said, “I have been here eight years so far. But eight years out of a lifelong sentence is not very long.” So there was the system at work. All five men were sentenced to life in prison for government conspiracy. And the craziest part? I have met all five of them. They all got sent to Jos Main Prison. Ogolu jumped in at this point and revealed he is part of that story, but his case is still in trial. He has a better chance of getting out before the other men because of the role he played.

I had a lot of questions for the men but didn’t need to ask any of them, they seemed to pick up on what I wanted to know. They told me about how God is using them in prison. “Life comes in stages,” Ogolu told me, “and what matters is how we handle the stage God puts us in.” They all are involved in the Prison Fellowship Ministry and are growing in the Lord in a strange secluded place of life. All acknowledged that they deserve being in prison, but all shared an equal desire to someday be let out. “Everyone makes mistakes,” Prince said, “but some of us choose to make mistakes that rob us of the rest of our normal lives.” He spoke a lot about hoping the judges who continue to evaluate their case and their sentence realize that people can change over time. It was quite an experience for me, a fairly well-behaved young white woman from California to be sharing life with four Nigerian convicts. I’m glad God brings us to places we never thought we would be. I was sad to leave but was extended an invitation to share in Sunday morning fellowship from Ezekiel, the prison’s pastor. I told him I wasn’t sure how that would work out, me being a foreign visitor to a group of inmates, but we’ll see what the Lord does with that.

I got back for lunch a little before 2:45 so I was hungry, exhausted, but very glad to have been blessed with the morning I did. Baba kept some food ready for me and after eating I made the wise decision of taking time for a short nap. After a bit of drooling on my pillow I woke up to head down to the Clinic with Adrie to check e-mails and say Hi to the people we had missed all day (Adrie is beating down Das Book). Dinner came shortly after we got back to the flat and the five of us decided we were too tired to try and do anything together tonight. Jon and Kristen went to bed and the three of us upstairs enjoyed some pilates before calling it a day. A very good day.

Day 41: ...You’re Going Where Now?

2008-10-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Biana informed me last night that if I wanted to I could devote the first half of this day to helping with HIV testing at the Jos prison. I jumped at the chance to see something new and help out in a way that I didn’t realize was a possibility. I met Simon in front of the Clinic after breakfast and we hopped in the van for a short ride across Jos. We pulled up to the prison and met with Esther (a young woman from the lab) before walking through a large metal gate escorted by uniformed guards. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I braced myself for the worst. Metal bars, mean armed guards, sickly looking prisoners, I thought I would be walking into a concentration camp. Thankfully that is not what met me behind the entrance. What my surroundings instead turned out to be looked much more like a college campus than a jail. A large green was surrounded by six or seven large run-down dormitories with a large letter of the alphabet painted on the side. To one side of the lawn sat a row of classrooms, a small garden, and a chapel. To the other side were some poorly made wooden buildings where food was being prepared in bulk in the traditional Nigerian style--with lots of fresh air. Simon led us to the classroom area where they set up a small testing center (one table with the proper swabs and needles) and the men filed in immediately. I was sent next door to the chapel where I would be helping out with registration. I walked in to a room with 75 Nigerian men and realized that this was the first (and possibly only) time in my life where I would be the only white AND female contribution to a crowd. What a feeling.

The man with the paperwork introduced himself as Prince before we quickly developed a system of patient information processing. Simon told me that I was the authorized Faith Alive staff for the day, which I found out meant I gave my signature on every person’s paper next to “Doctor Presiding.” Never again in my life will I enjoy that level of prestige. Two others jumped in to help and for the next five hours the quartet of writers took information, copied data, and got prisoners on their way to free HIV testing. It is really cool to be working for an organization that, with as little resources as it has, believes in the power of free services. Most of the men that got tested today would never be able to afford this important step of their medical life, even if it looks very cheap to the developed world.

It was truly an amazing experience as I spoke with prisoners and realized how happy they were with life. None of them looked depressed or angry or hungry. They looked like people I would run into on the street in my neighborhood. I did not get a chance to discuss the Nigerian penal system much today, but Prince did inform me that most prisoners are only serving sentences for a few months. There are virtually no women at this particular prison (although I assume it resembles demographics all over Nigeria) and most of the men we registered today were in their early twenties. It was strange talking to a prisoner who said he was 20, my age, and realizing just how different our years have looked. When we had a lull in the almost-constant traffic Prince asked me geography questions that he has been trying to figure out. I was able to explain some of Great Britian’s makeup as well as help him out with learning country capitals, something he has worked on for a while. In return, he helped me in his area of expertise; the Nigerian states and tribes. You can learn so much from former strangers if you take the time to listen.

Around 1:30 we packed up our things, prayed with the staff that helped us, and went back through the checkpoints. Greg was nowhere to be seen outside so Simon put his hand on my shoulder and, with big eyes asked me, “Cait, are you able to walk more than a kilometer?” I realized he was worried about me so I suppressed a laugh and told him that I was a fine walker, even wearing a skirt. It was hot but we knew it was going to be our only option when Simon spotted the red Faith Alive van down the street. I think he was much more relieved than Esther and I. I made it home for a late lunch and declined the invite of the trio to go to the Museum Shops in order to get a needed nap. Some days you just need the extra sleep!

E-mailing at the Clinic was followed by a nice Baba dinner. We weren’t sure what our activity for the night should be so Jon suggested turning on the television where, on our favorite Arabic channel, The Life Aquatic was just starting. Oh Wes Anderson. So our day ended with a wonderfully bizarre movie and, because NEPA has neglected us for an entire 24 hours now, we got ready for bed without the need for any other entertainment.

Day 40: Baby No Cry.

2008-10-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

I endured my first sleepless night in Nigeria. With all the dust settling in our neighborhood I knew I was having some sinus problems but the biggest problem ended up being my never-stopping-to-catch-a-breath brain. Thinking too much is a bad combo when you can’t breathe well, so between ten last night and six this morning there was little sleeping to be had. Sometimes I think God wants you to take extra time to really think through things happening in your life so I took the opportunity to pray and process events happening here in Jos, around the world, and the lives I am connected to back home. I have to say for being tired in the morning I think it was worth it.

Breakfast came a little earlier than normal (since I was awake to turn off my alarm before it sounded) and I enjoyed my bowl of cereal with an extra treat of Dayquil. Bring on Monday! Adrie and I decided it was a good day to try out our Nigerian attire before walking down to the sewing school for discipleship class. Kristen led today’s topic of the need for grace and it was interesting to hear the ladies’ perspective on what God’s forgiveness really looks like. Many said they have a constant feel of guilt looming about them because they are told again and again in church that when you sin it is hard to make it up with God. They believe that sins exist on different levels (some are more forgivable than others) and that the Lord wants to punish you for your wrongdoings in order to teach you a lesson. It was neat to see some of the women begin to understand that we serve a God who doesn’t like it when we mess up but understands it is human nature and is always ready to receive us with open arms. I bet that is a freeing feeling for the few people who has been taught you can never be good enough for God to want to be near you, or for the woman sitting behind me who thought we served a God who sat on his throne in Heaven and refused to step foot on this sinful earth. “The Word became flesh...” had a new meaning to those ears.

We stopped by the Clinic for a little pharmacy action and were complimented by everyone we ran into that we were looking very Nigerian. Grace told me that my body was made for these styles...and that I need to wear them all the time back in the States. I think Americans need to look into trying out some traditional ethnic clothing, its really fun! Counting pills led to lunch, which led to checking e-mails and, soon afterwards, a nap for Caitlin. How cool is it to work at a place where they tell you to take the afternoon off to get some needed rest? Timber Mountain and Faith Alive share a lot of commonalities--long meaningful days, lots of activity, and constant care of staff members. When I awoke I set a little time aside for The Book until dinner was ready. Baba has gotten into the habit of reminding us he doesn’t want any help (he physically shoos us out of the kitchen) but is starting to follow up his dismissals with “Baby no cry.” That makes me feel a lot better about life in general. After-dinner conversation revolved around New Year’s parties, over-parented children, and the life-long process of your Dad and Mom revealing their pre-parent lives to you. (Gavin and I are still trying to figure out Dad. ‘One day as I was backpacking the Alps with the Dalai Lama...’) I hope my kids will have an endless supply of crazy life stories that their dad and I can share with them. I bet some will be about Nigeria.

Day 39: Thank You God For The Sabbath.

2008-10-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Getting up this morning was an ugly ordeal in our flat. Biana was wide awake at 4 because of some music blasting outside her window that persisted for over an hour. Adrie wasn’t feeling well and had been up and around for a majority of the night also. I woke up with a bad sore throat and was literally without a voice for a while. (It brought back many memories of Summer Safari... Thankfully I don’t lead games in Jos!) We decided collectively around the breakfast table that we would enjoy a congregation of three this week and started our service with cups of tea.

I have received a lot of news from back home over the past twenty-four hours and needed some processing time. Life gets a little crazy with the realization of three more units (Thank you Tim!), a good friend’s engagement, the joy that comes from life forming inside a person, and the sadness that comes with the closing chapters of another. Knowing these things Biana stepped in as pastor as the three of us spent time thinking through the process of life and death, the inevitability of both, and how we as children of God should think about these things. It was a beautiful time of fellowship as we shared stories of people in our lives that are not with us anymore; stories of how legacies are carried on and coming to simple realizations of what is important and what is not. Needless to say we had a good church service today and I was put more at peace with all the emotions running around inside of me.

Biana switched from pastor to cook in order to prepare her famous Leftover Stew and toss a fresh salad. We ate in higher spirits than we woke up with and the hot soup helped my voice regain some volume. When we were full Adrie and I took a walk to the Clinic to do some needed e-mailing and phone calls. I felt bad waking Josh up so early on a day he could have slept in, but sometimes a girl just needs to talk to her boyfriend! It was nice for both of us to catch up with family and friends that are far away and continue to check up on situations we are hearing about. Adrie’s big sister Abi and her husband just discovered they are pregnant with their first child, which we are all incredibly excited about, and a friend of mine just proposed to his girlfriend. Life keeps going even if you are not close enough to experience it firsthand! What a bittersweet blessing.

To close off the day we decided it was time for another trip to the Net Cafe where the five of us shared in a time of good conversation, delicious food, and, of course, the necessary dessert fix. (I have a fear I will eat my weight in chocolate once I get back to the States!) Our bedtime seems to jump forward every night so we decided to head back to our respective flats for some needed rest before heading into another busy week at Faith Alive. Mewithoutyou has been keeping me company as I get my heart and mind in order for this week to come.

“If I come without a thing than I come with all I need.”

Day 38: If I Had Not Made You Come Inside How Would You Have Ever Known The Goodness Of This Soda?!

2008-10-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

We heard later yesterday that we were invited by Joshua to go to the Faith Alive Foundation’s football (soccer) match at a tournament in Kafanchan. Not wanting to let a rare opportunity pass the kids agreed to go cheer on the team while Biana stayed behind to get some needed rest. The four fans had a good breakfast this morning and packed sack lunches before going on our way. (Sally Barlow, the US Coordinator for Faith Alive, just arrived in Jos and heard rumors that there was a visitor trying their best to live gluten-free. She packed the extra space in her carry on with rice cakes and corn tortillas to help me out! My heart and tummy were filled with joy.) Journeys never start as planned here so when Greg found our tire was losing air we went down the street to the tire guy (people tend to specialize in one specific thing here) who helped us out. The van picked up Joshua and Joseph at the Clinic and Coach Keith just outside of Jos. A few minutes late, but no longer worried about getting stuck on the side of the road.

The drive to Kafanchan is indescribably beautiful. We enjoyed the two hours to sit and look out the window at the green that passed by, scenery that will never be mirrored in most parts of the world. The little mud huts with thatched roofs scattered throughout the open countryside make my heart yearn for such a simple agrarian lifestyle. Everyone’s pace of life is so much slower out here while the need for family, community, and connectedness with the earth is almost overwhelming. What a difference from my fast-paced society. How do we even begin to bring this to our American culture? People would see it as too needing of others and painfully unproductive in terms of quick output. I hope that is something God will reveal to me during my time here--how to live more simply. And in that how to simply live more.

We arrived at the stadium almost a half-hour late but, as expected, the match had not yet started. Greg pulled the van into a spot and we got out to head over to the stands. On our way we noticed a large cow grazing by one of the goals and a trio of bathing football players over by a far wall. Naked people in public sport venues? Really? We were stopped by a man who led us to three white plastic chairs next to the field and in line with our team. It was fun to be more a part of the action, but there was a lingering fear of having one of the players on the field run you over once the ball went out-of-bounds. Faith Alive represented Jos in blue while a team from a nearby village was decked out in red. I never once heard what their team names were, so we cheered for our guys with “Oohs” and “Ahhs” when they were doing well and “Oh nos” when defense was struggling. The field itself was a complete disaster. It had rained the past few days so there were huge puddles of muddy water hidden in the overgrown grass. That made me even more impressed with their ability to run as quickly, pass as efficiently, and play as well as they did. Sometimes the ball would slow down as it was being passed by a thick growth of weeds. The clouds hinted at rain again but, luckily or unluckily, they evaporated five minutes into the game and we had sunshine...which made everyone sweat profusely and burned all the oyibos through their sunscreen on the sideline. The first half was very back and forth, the ball mostly bouncing off of people’s heads or being kicked into the goalies ready hands. When they called for half-time a dignified man walked over and introduced himself as the president of this football league. He shook all of our hands, thanked us for coming, and asked for a picture to be taken with us. We slowly came to understand that the four of us were the guests of honor at this game. The second half was more of the same excitement and the game came to a close without a goal. On to penalty shots! The crowd by this point had moved from the stands and onto the sidelines where they anxiously awaited the outcome. Blue kicked first and was blocked by the goalie, red followed suit. The second kick went in with an uproar from the Jos side, Red did the same. Kicks three and five went in for both sides so it was on to six. Six went to the back corner of the goal for blue, just past the goalie’s hands for red. Nervous number seven walked up for our team and kicked the ball with all his might, just to bounce out of the goal by the goalie’s fingertips. Red walked up uneasily and faked out our goalie with a shot to the high left corner, just out of his reach. Red fans went crazy and for the first time ever I saw how sports are taken in other countries. Our teammates wept. The guy who missed the shot had to be physically picked up by his friends from the field and our goalie sat on the grass with his head in his hands. They were so stricken with grief you would have sworn that losing the game meant they were banished from playing football for the rest of their lives.

Guilt and self-judgment plays a huge role in Nigerian society. In church the pastor never ceases to bring up how unrighteous the people in his congregation are and how repentance is the only way for God (and others) to forgive. If you mess up God is going to slap you. I saw how much this mindset in engrained in the culture as I watched my poor friend be dragged off the field for “losing the game” for his teammates. As if his one missed shot was a way of dishonoring everyone who hoped they would win. Dan, the head coach, sat this player down near us and reminded him that this was a game, a chance to enjoy a passion of running around, and that he did a wonderful job. I am glad Dan understands what it is really all about.

We hopped in the car a group of sweaty tired messes hoping to head back to Jos as quick as possible. Why we thought that would happen I don’t know, because we have all grown to realize that the Nigerian culture is one of taking time. Dan insisted we come back to the hotel they were staying in (he even stole our purses to make sure we followed him inside) and wanted to buy us food. We had just eaten lunch and kept refusing so he settled on pear soda. Oh how I dislike carbonation. I did my best to swallow the fizzy beverage as quick as possible, but we ended up staying in the little restaurant for over half an hour. When it was time to go we wandered outside for another twenty minutes while the men in our van ate a bowl of milk (...don’t ask) before heading out. We made three more stops (Keith’s house, the bakery, and picking up two English volunteers to take them back to their school) before getting back to the flat. We were pooped.

Dinner was filling but didn’t give us the energy necessary to do anything else for the night. Driving along pot-hole infested dirt roads makes a person more tired than one would think. Reading, journaling, and getting ready for a full night of sleep. How refreshing.

Day 37: Baby!

2008-10-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was able to take my time getting ready this morning since the first thing I planned to attend was Jon and Kristin’s discipleship class at the sewing school. It is always a great walk in the morning, being able to stop and say Sannu to the people I now recognize and try to predict what the weather will look like for the day. Faith Alive is in a very friendly neighborhood. I made it to the sewing school with a few minutes to spare so I spoke with a couple of people waiting to get interviewed as participants in the computer classes. Once things got under way (ten minutes late as usual) I took a seat in the middle of my fellow classmates and was immediately handed a child. He is one of my favorites, we have been getting well acquainted over the past five weeks, and he never causes any problems during class. Today he was especially good since he fell asleep on my lap about five minutes into our discussion. Team D has been spending the last few days in discipleship class trying to break down myths about Christianity that seem prominent in Nigeria. Today’s topic was praying for wealth. The “Prosperity Gospel”, belief that once you accept Jesus you will be blessed with good finances and material possessions, is a core value in many churches of this area. Business owners are told that if they start to lose money it is because God is punishing them, where on the flipside a person who becomes wealthy is told that Jesus is the source of all their income. It is a very strange philosophy, but one that is quickly infiltrating Christian minds around the world. The dozen of us in the room spent a good while looking through Scripture and pulling out life experiences related to worshiping money, wanting things that sometimes aren’t healthy for our relationship with God, and realizing that whether we live in poverty or in luxury it is the same God that we serve.

I promised the women to be there more consistently over the next few weeks and made my way down the street to the Clinic where my seat was being saved in the pharmacy. It is starting to feel a bit like Cheers every time I walk in (“Cait!”) and I am always so glad to be with this group of individuals. They are phenomenal! I grabbed some bottles of pills to count while Matthew turned on the small television in the corner of the room. To our great luck there was a cheesy Nigerian movie just starting so we spent time working with one ear open. Matthew and I gasped (and laughed) our way to the conclusion before everything fell apart. The hero of the movie found out his wife bore a child by his brother and in the end shot down his own mother, brother, and pregnant wife before killing himself at his court hearing. When the credits started to roll Matthew looked at me and exclaimed, “Cait, that was so stupid and tragic! Why on earth did we watch the whole thing?!” I guess it is all part of the experience.

An enjoyable lunch allowed us to get back to Faith Alive for some odd jobs. Adrie and I were able to leave earlier than expected so we took a detour to Blessing’s shop to thank the women again for our outfits. This shop has become a magnetic force-field to me. I took a seat on the floor with Miriam, one of the lady’s young daughters, who was drawing pictures on the back of an old flyer. She handed me a pen and the two of us went to work making beautiful sketches for each other; one from a twenty-year-old hand, one from a four-year-old hand. We laughed our way through the suns and ducks and mamas and babies that appeared on the paper and I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had been able to draw. Adrie spent a good deal of her time trying to nicely get away from a friend of Blessing’s who wandered in and was obviously hoping to get a date. (Poor Adrie, she is the heartthrob of every single man in this neighborhood. I told her she needs to stop being so dang pretty!) Miriam only speaks Hausa and my four phrases in her native tongue weren’t coming in very handy. She told me elaborate stories with hand motions and skirt-twirling while I sat and tried to imagine what this little girl was trying to relay to me. My favorite conversation started with “Onja lama pab shiniki BABY!” She surprised me by successfully counting to ten in English followed by teaching me the ABC’s using her toes. I seriously wish I had been taught the alphabet using a foot rather than a song. When I counted to ten on my fingers she opened her arms and, with a giant squeal, threw them around me and planted a wet kiss on my cheek. I think that was my favorite moment of the day. Or possibly this trip.

Happy and exhausted from a long week I spent the hour before dinner lying on my bed with my eyes closed listening to Deniso Witmer. Folksy acoustic guitars and sung poetry seems to be a good way to unwind. Dinner was delicious, company was great, and the girls knew pilates was on the way. After an hour-long exercise routine we felt stretched and sweaty, key signs that it was time to check out for the night. Reading Three Cups of Tea I ran across something that caught my attention:

“We Americans think you have to accomplish everything quickly. We’re the country of thirty- minute power-lunches and two-minute football drills. Our leaders thought their ‘shock and awe’ campaign could end the war in Iraq before it even started. Haji Ali taught me to share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects. He taught me that I had more to learn from the people I work with than I could ever hope to teach them.” - Greg Mortenson (p.150)

This author spent many months over many years traveling to the isolated Balti regions of Northern Pakistan in order to build schools. But providing education and meeting basic physical needs didn’t end up being the most important part of this great adventure, it was the relationships he allowed to bloom with those he came in contact with. I want to do the same. And God-willing that is what has already started.

Day 36: To Think How Much Jesus Loves Us, Without Any Real Reason To.

2008-10-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Waking up this morning I had the first sensation of something I haven’t felt for a long time: coolness. Not as in personality (definitely not something I am lacking in) but in terms of the weather. It has been ridiculously warm and moist every day up until this morning so it was quite refreshing to want to stay under the covers! I enjoyed breakfast and hung around the flat a little while longer than usual to make sure my body was fully ready for the day. (American stomachs don’t always work as well in a Nigerian setting we’ve all discovered...) Morning devotions were over by the time I arrived at the Clinic but I got to the pharmacy before it opened and had a good chat with Grace about her upcoming wedding before we needed to get going. It was a great morning of counting vitamins, organizing and storing new shipments, and spending time with my friends. Tima is coming along with her Spanish phrases, Matthew and I discussed world politics, and Isaiah accused me of forgetting to take a break between tasks. To make sure that I don’t work like a machine all the time I was given a homemade doughnut (not as sweet as an American, but probably not as fatty either) and watched an old episode of 7^th Heaven with Mama and Tima that was on TV. Nigerians have a different sense of prioritizing what needs to get done--spending quality time with the people you work with is first on the list. I am convinced that everyone should work for a Nigerian at some point in their life!

I walked back for lunch and met up with Adrie who has been getting tons of pages filled in The Book. Jon and Kristen joined us shortly and as we started to eat we heard the rain begin to fall. We didn’t think much of it until poor Biana sloshed inside with soaked-through sandals and dripping wet clothes. When Greg goes out of town we realize how sometimes it is much more reasonable to have a driver. Full of Baba’s cooking and changed into dry warmer clothes we decided to wait until the rain eased up a bit before heading back to Faith Alive. Jon and Kristen were able to lead prayer meeting today and it was such a blessing. Reading through Luke where Jesus takes the time to wash his disciples feet the Draskovics felt led to do the same for the staff they work with. The two stooped low with their buckets of water as people would come forward to let their feet be bathed and their heart be humbled. It was a beautiful reminder of how much God loves us. Such a simple statement, but one that I feel is often forgotten. It was a very quiet time of thanksgiving as each person in the room took the time to really dwell on what it is that Christ did and is doing for each individual that has walked this earth. I was glad to be able to find time to sit with my Baba and realize that sometimes my gratitude and love doesn’t need to try to be formulated into words. He always understands me. The Mamas and Papas of the staff joined around Jon and Kristen to pray for them as we closed our time together, followed by a procession of staff members back into the world a little closer to realizing what love really looks like.

We stayed at the Clinic a little longer but decided to leave before the rain hit hard again. Adrie and I stopped by the Sewing School where our Nigerian outfits hung pressed and ready to be worn. We each got two beautiful ensembles, one for warmer weather and one for cooler, and tried them on once we got home. My pattern reminds me of those tesselations you have to use in elementary school math and looks surprisingly nice on a long flowing skirt and ruffled top with matching headband. I feel even more Nigerian now that I can look the role! Dinner came soon after we got back and we finished the evening with Baba’s warm fruit cobbler (bananas, papaya, pineapple, and watermelon!) and got the laughing sillies while sharing more family stories. It is amazing to realize the amount of embarrassing things you find about yourself that your parents contributed to. I think I am finally at the point where I realize the endless amount of thanks Dad and Uncle Norm deserve for taking three crazy kids to Montana and back, cleaning up vomit and spilled capri suns in multiple states. We all hope to raise our kids like our parents raised us: with a whole lot of love and very little room for living down a story.

Day 35: The Best Artist Ever Is my Girl Whitney. You Know, Whitney Houston?

2008-10-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I have grown so accustomed to waking up to the neighborhood roosters that I have a fear alarm clocks won’t do their job for me anymore. I stayed in bed until seven and had a nice slow morning with my bowl of Frosties and partially skimmed milk. As I was getting my things together I remembered it was Wednesday, that it was staff meeting morning, and that they have started locking the doors on people who are even just a few minutes late. So my pace picked up a bit as I hurried to get down to the Clinic on time and not have to face the embarrassment of needing the door unlocked for poor Cait. I made it in the door at precisely 8:00 and enjoyed another time of staff meeting. Today’s topics of concern were not turning off the lights when leaving the room, yelling out “Old School!” in public instead of referring to Dr. Onyijiaka by his actual name, and a disheartening note someone tacked on the bulletin board stating that Faith Alive needs to “Wake Up” during this “dark time.” People here are very superstitious and a few on staff believe that Hannatu’s death was caused by a curse someone put on social services or because God was punishing this gentile woman and her coworkers for their sins. I’m glad Dr. Chris is doing his best to fight against some of the deeply rooted myths here.

There was not much to do in the pharmacy right away so I had a good chat with the new pharmacist (and new next-door neighbor) named David. He’s a really neat guy with a lot of knowledge of world politics, geography, and culture. We spoke of our political beliefs (the first Nigerian Democrat I have talked to) and had a lively conversation about what we perceived as good music. We could agree on the Beatles and U2, but I was not so sure I thought Whitney Houston and Diana Ross deserved as much praise as he was giving them. At least it gave us a chance to sing out our soul-sister hits. Once patients started coming in for drugs we had to get to work so I went on counting pills and sorting medicine. Isaiah and I have discovered that we make a pretty good counting team and I taught Tima a little bit of Spanish so it was a successful morning.

Lunch was followed by an unexpected power nap (I shouldn’t sit on my bed to read in the afternoons) before going back to work. Adrie had spent all morning with The Book so she came hoping to get a little internet time in. After five minutes of being back she found out the internet was down and two minutes after that the thunder started to rumble. Jon and Kristen let me talk to Uncle Thomas with them about starting a rotation system for morning devotionals and the three of us got some good feedback from the man who is always stuck speaking before the Clinic opens. We spent the next good while brainstorming a calendar, list of topics, and department understanding. Hopefully that will work out so the three Pastors (Ben, Thomas, and Esther) won’t always been expected to give the morning message. It was still pouring when our proposal was put together so we watched our music videos (they get increasingly lamer with every play) and talked about what going home is looking like for them. Joshua came back around 4:30 and figured out the power/internet problem so we were able to watch a couple SNL videos on Youtube before Greg came with the van to drive us home.

Baba made my favorite dinner tonight (chicken, rice, pineapple, and fried plantains), which made me incredibly happy. We wandered into the living room where conversation turned to driving tests and getting arrested. I honestly believe we have covered every topic possible to speak of over the past five weeks. Tonight we all learned a) Not to bring a squirt gun into Target, b) Never to be drunk on campus (especially in Harrisonburg, Virginia), c) Crying will help you pass your driver’s test, and d) Kicking your brake lights will help them turn on. Oh the wisdom we are all reaping! Kristen joined our trio for late-night pilates, which nearly made us pass out, and we decided we were too full and too tired to attempt anything else for the rest of the night. Off to bed!

Day 34: Stop Stealing My Interpretive Dancing!

2008-10-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

It was one of those instances where I woke up knowing that it was going to be an exciting day. A healthy breakfast of pineapple yogurt and a banana with Nutella gave way to a nice morning walk down to the Clinic. Uncle Thomas spoke this morning about the disciples who left Jesus because they couldn’t understand what he was saying. It was a pretty relevant message for any culture: we as humans can’t ever fully understand our Maker but it is our choice to deny or accept his message to the world. Thomas claimed that all of us will at one point or another face the challenge of wanting to walk away, and I think he’s right. Sometimes it is hard to follow Jesus. Sometimes we don’t really want to live out what he has to say. It gave me some things to think about as I worked in the pharmacy.

I had the pleasure of meeting Fatima, a university student who volunteers at Faith Alive during her school breaks, and getting to know her. It was nice to finally talk to a Nigerian at the same point of life that I am in! After counting out four bottles of vitamins (with the help of Isaiah) I was told that I needed a break. With more than an hour before Baba would be serving lunch Tima invited me to her home. It was quite a walk, but she insisted on buying me a Fanta to beat the heat and grabbed my hand while we crossed the street so I wouldn’t get run over by one of the hundreds of speeding motorbikes. It was pretty funny, I felt like I was walking with my babysitter. When we reached her complex she apologized in advance for the mess in her flat and invited me inside. I tried hard not to react as I walked into the room. A mattress in the far corner doubled as bed and nightstand while a desk accompanied by a single plastic chair held her school notes and small radio. The table on the other side of the room surrounded by buckets was set with cooking utensils, a small kerosene stove, and a kettle. Underneath the table were a few bags of groceries and two suitcases and few bags nearby stored all her clothes. A floral-printed sheet closed off her small bathroom from the rest of the living space. Her entire house is the size of my bedroom. She offered me the plastic chair and I drank my orange present while we chatted about school, family, and work. She pulled out her school laptop and asked me to read the start of a novel she has been writing. When she has a hard time falling asleep she writes, which is turning into a beautifully composed story of a mother’s love for her ill child. When it was time for lunch we walked back to the Clinic together and as we said See You Later I realized I had just walked into a real Nigerian experience.

After lunch we headed back to the Clinic for a bit but first stopped at the sewing school to say hello to Blessing and the girls there. I found that I am completely incapable of stopping somewhere for less than a couple of minutes so I spent the hour chatting with them. I had my first experience with sugar cane (chewing it tastes good, but I feel weird spitting my nasty wad onto the ground) and thumbed through a Nigerian fashion magazine that Loretta was choosing a style from. Loretta and Blessing hounded me about my personal life in America (poor Josh always ends up coming into conversation with women that I work with) and tried pressuring me into staying in Jos for “at least a year.” They are so funny! I finally made it down to the Clinic and, once realizing there was not much else for Adrie and myself to do, walked back to our flat.

It was time for another book so I started Three Cups of Tea just in time for a magnificent thunderstorm to roll in...and turn off all the power. Adrie and I had a good rainy-day conversation and once Biana got back for dinner were very hungry. Meat and potatoes filled us all up, but there was enough energy left to work on learning Grano De Mostaza on the guitar. (We are sharing a song with the staff next week. The mountains will move in English rather than Spanish though.) Biana went upstairs to relax and the four kids realized there was still a bit of energy left in us. Jon started singing and dancing to my itunes and we agreed it was time for the video camera to come out. We shot two dynamic videos; the first of Jon living up to “You Sexy Thing” followed by the girls proving “There Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” for these videos not to get onto facebook. It was a classic rock dance party until NEPA decided to shut us down for the night. All I’m asking is for a little respect, just a little bit, just a little bit.

Day 33: We’re Taking It Back To The States! Waaay Back.

2008-10-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

I set my alarm for the first time in a week but ended up turning it off after one buzz and falling asleep for another hour. So much for getting up early! I knew that all I had this morning was a big bowl of Frosties (Frosted Flakes back home) and an even bigger book on the living room table. Luckily Biana informed me that the book is no longer just my responsibility since my friends were gracious enough to offer to share the load. I showed Adrie how it’s done, about thirty seconds of teaching, and took turns getting the information written until lunchtime.

Jon and Kristen informed us eating rice with chicken curry (yum) that they were asked this morning to lead devotional class at the sewing school the next two weeks as well as a couple of staff prayer meetings. I know they have had an interesting mix of tedious tasks the past few weeks so this is a good change of pace. They were kind enough to ask if I wanted to help out so I should have something else to look forward to over the next days. Adrie and I headed to the Clinic after our food and stopped by Blessing’s sewing shop where she is nearly done with my two Nigerian outfits. They are gorgeous, I hope they look equally stunning on! Once we got to Faith Alive we hoped there were some other tasks in need of completion. We ran into Dr. Old School who asked where we had been hiding the past few days while proceeding to teach us some crazy handshake he learned while living in the United States. He’s still my favorite staff member. Luckily there was work to be done and we were blessed by an afternoon counting pills in the pharmacy. It was nice to be with Grace, Peju, and Isaiah again...and Vitamin C.

After work we decided it had been too long since our last pilates excursion so after Biana walked in the door the three of us got ready for our new cardio video. An hour of “Wait, how does she do that?’, wheezing, and hysterical laughter made for a pretty good workout. I am so glad there were no cameras around for our barely-in-rhythm not-nearly-as-flexible rendition of Ana Caban’s movements. We still felt good about ourselves! Quick bucket baths and it was downstairs for a dinner of fries, plantain chips, beef, and fruit cobbler. Baba must have known we wanted extra calories, where did the healthy stuff go?! Mondays are always exhausting so we wasted no time in getting settled in for the evening. Adrie and Biana are currently watching Robin Hood (the foxy version) while I sit here typing waiting for my laundry to be done soaking. I think I will fall asleep before they are ready to be rinsed.

Day 32: I Always Suspected I Was Nearly Perfect... Thanks For Clearing That Up.

2008-10-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Churches here start a little later than my normal Sunday service so Adrie and I got up for some breakfast and took our time getting ready for the day. Biana had to attend to some scholarship business at the Clinic so Jon and Kristen invited us to check out the church they have been attending here in Jos. After a short walk down the street we found ourselves at Latter Glory Church where two speakers were blaring the praise from the inside out onto the street. We showed up an hour late, just before 10, because their time of praise usually lasts a couple of hours before the pastor gets up. There was a whole lot of singing and dancing in this Pentecostal congregation--Kristen was even pulled on stage to show off her oyibo dance moves! Once things got quiet one of the supporting pastors got up to give his message for the morning. I can honestly say I have never found it so difficult to follow a sermon in my life. He was reading through the end of Genesis with the curses put on Jacob’s sons, Dinah getting raped, Jacob’s wives fighting over his affection (in that order) and somehow relating it to our own cursed lives. He ended with proclaiming that if you throw off the curse that has been placed on you God will turn your life around and give you more money than you could hope for. Needless to say it was very bizarre on top of taking stories completely out of context. Jon and Kristen assured us that today was not a normal service, but I’m glad we went on a day that seemed so out of line!

Adrie and I enjoyed leftovers for lunch (We remind Baba that the Bible speaks of a day of rest) and started watching Sense and Sensibility to enjoy a lazy afternoon. Jon and Kristen promised Blessing and her two young boys, Henry and Charles, to teach them how to swim at a local swimming pool. Adrie and I decided not to go to the pool because she doesn’t like unclean public swimming venues and I have a great fear of being around people who can’t swim who think they can. The boys were very sweet quiet kids. Adrie asked Henry, the youngest, if he would like a glass of water and the child took the entire thing in one continuous gulp. He totally would have killed all the Timber counselors at a water-chugging contest! The five of them took off so Adrie and I enjoyed a quiet afternoon of reading and chatting. I even got a pretty good bucket bath in since NEPA was being kind and not turning off the electricity.

BIana makes the best leftover soup this side of the Atlantic so we enjoyed a good dinner waiting for Team D to return (that’s right, the Draskovics have their own crime-fighting nickname). They walked in the door just before dark and told us of their eventful afternoon. I was not there to experience any of this but I’ll do my best to keep it in their words: It cost 500 naira per person (around $4.75) to walk through the gate to the pool but despite the high cost the place was packed. They got their stuff together and Jon jumped in to find a good spot to do swimming lessons when Kristen started yelling to get his attention. She pointed near him and he noticed a child at the bottom of the pool. That child was Charles. Thank the Lord Jon had been a lifeguard for many summers and was able to quickly get down and pull him to safety. Apparently Blessing believed her son was a strong swimmer and pushed him into the deep end to get things started. Jon waited until everyone calmed down a little and found a good spot in the shallow end to start his swim lessons. Apparently Nigerians don’t do very well in the water so it took a while for Blessing to feel good about moving forward in the water. Kristen in the meantime got out of the pool after about ten minutes. She told me that it looked like one giant tub of drowning people--everyone thrashing their arms around, jumping on top of one another, swimming into others--it freaked her out. It was a long tiring afternoon for our swim instructor and cheerleader but they said they felt good about Blessing, Henry, and Charles accomplishments. I thanked God out loud that I decided not to go, I would have cried hysterically before hyperventilating into a faint. No Nigerian pools for me.

We chatted a little bit after dinner about slang; what should come back and what should leave forever. They made fun of our Californianisms and we tried our best to figure out how “Pscyhe!” could be brought back into normal daily conversation. Word. Adrie and I finished our movie afterwards with some of our Tamarash chocolate and it was off to bed. Chocolate does wonders when it comes to thinking back over a crazy day...

Day 31: The Only Way We Could Be More Classy Is If There Were Nigerian Rap Blaring In The Background.

2008-10-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

This was the first day for me that started while it was still dark! Prayer vigil breaks people’s normal habits, which is one of the reasons they dedicate this time to God. From midnight to 3:45 a small group of us spent time praising through song, reflecting on what God has been teaching us, meditating and listening, and praying for every aspect of Faith Alive. We lay hands on different departments, the gates, on certain people. We held hands, black and white, and spoke to the same God about the same struggles and blessings. It was a really beautiful experience. Everyone at once singing, speaking in English, Hausa, spritual tongues, crying, laughing, every emotion exposed. By the end of it all we were exhausted, filled and exhausted, but, as is normal in Jos, unable to leave until light came. Our staff spread out among the Clinic and found places to fall asleep until the sun rose. When the roosters started crowing just before six we picked up our things and said Good Morning to all the shopkeepers who were opening their stores. Once we got home it was good to fall asleep in a bed as opposed to the early morning row of chairs.

The four of us who went to prayer woke up in time for lunch and enjoyed another great time of food and conversation together. Somehow we got on the subject of childhood sentiments and we all confessed our undying endearment to one teddy bear or blanket that still sits in our closet. The need for chocolate arose quickly after finishing our food so the four younger of the group took at walk to the Tamarash market, the only place to our knowledge in the area that has some recognizable American brands. It was a nice stroll through a couple of neighborhoods before coming to the main commercial street. Inside we spent more time than normal contemplating what our hearts (and stomachs) most desired. We got Biana some Oreos, Adrie picked up a bag of chocolates, Jon and Kristen grabbed a bottle of wine and some mixed nuts, and I chose the three best looking candy bars. We justified the extra calories with the length of our walk.

Today was Joshua Dow’s birthday so I was eager to give him a call when we got back. There is something very refreshing about hearing someone’s voice when you are far away--but that comes along with missing them even more! After our chat he went off to breakfast and it was time for my dinner (I’m still thrown off by the eight-hour time difference) so I went to enjoy another Baba-cooked meal. We were all tired after eating so Biana went upstairs and the rest of us decided to have a relaxing evening in the living room. We pulled out the six-dollar bottle of red wine, some floral mugs, and turned on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Classy! I did my respective one sip followed by the ugly face so the other three enjoyed my share of the bottle. The rest of the night was dedicated to finishing my book (I can finally admit to having read something of Jane Austen’s) and getting some early shut-eye. Saturdays just seem to be the best days no matter what setting you find yourself in.

Day 30: We Aren’t Going To Change Anything, But I’m Pretty Sure God Is Going To Change Us.

2008-10-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

At 7:30 I heard a trio of water-carriers come in through the front door singing loudly as they worked so I decided to wait in bed a little longer before greeting the rest of the world. It’s always a little awkward having someone in your house you don’t know very well when you are in the first few minutes of the morning. Adrie let me know that she didn’t hear them come in and walked to the bathroom in her chonies to find a woman she didn’t know pouring water into our large bucket. (Thankfully the lady didn’t turn around in time to see Adrie dart back into her room!) They are so hospitable, even if they do come in at inconvenient times. I worked at home all morning again with my government book. It is getting abnormally tedious so I am doing my best to keep myself entertained--today’s remedy was Zach Braff soundtracks and trying to find people with birthdays close to mine.

A filling lunch was followed by an interesting conversation between Adrie, the Draskovic duo, and myself. We must have been feeling particularly candid today because we started to share some more delicate emotions about being here. All four of us have come to the point where the trip we are experiencing is very different than the trip we had imagined. We are all currently working on tasks which involve no interaction with patients and require almost no communication with other staff members and are starting to get a little, well, bored. We spoke up about how we realize that Faith Alive really doesn’t need outside help like we as middle-class white Americans would like to believe. With the talented staff and support of many in Jos they are functioning at a blessed and productive level. The Clinic would run just fine (if not better) without our presence. It sounds harsh, but it’s reality. Thankfully through what sounds like a meaningless mission trip is actually such a huge part of our personal adventures. God is continuously teaching us more about ourselves, about this culture we are living in, about how we need to see the world, and revealing more about his own desires for us as his children. We are continuing to move out of the mindset that we have something new to bring, something that the Clinic needs to have a revelation. We are learning that God sometimes brings you to things so that you can see and feel in order to think it through and take it back home. It’s a really beautiful and humbling place to be. So we went back and worked on our current jobs remembering that we can here to serve and experience. It made time go by at the correct speed.

Eventually dinner rolled around so we ate quickly in order to head back to the Clinic before it got dark. Every first Friday of the month all the churches in Nigeria (as is a tradition in many African nations) get together for prayer vigil, and tonight was our first experience. Kristen hasn’t been sleeping well so she decided it would be a good idea for her to stay home while the rest of us grabbed our laptops, water bottles, and pillows and headed to Faith Alive by 6:30. Prayer for our group started at midnight so to enjoy our few extra hours we did some necessary e-mailing, watched The Princess Bride, and ate popcorn. There is nothing to say about Nigerian popcorn except that most people here don’t know how to use a microwave so they don’t realize that their treat tastes exactly like Disneyland. Seriously, we all came to the same conclusion and scarfed it down respectively. After our movie I took an hour-long nap and woke up in time to get things started.

Day 29: Make Sure You Love As Best You Can.

2008-10-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

The holiday(s) are over and it was back to work for Faith Alive and the rest of Jos. Adrie and I are both working on massive government books right now so it is actually easier for us to work at the flat in the morning rather than in the middle of an office. So we woke up, ate a good breakfast, and started our work in the living room. I don’t think I could ever work out of my home, but we were lucky enough to enjoy each other’s conversations and listen to some good music while we wrote and wrote and wrote.

Lunchtime came and we took the quick walk downstairs where Jon and Baba were having a good conversation. The whole meal we sat and listened while our darling cook told us parts of his life story. He decided to be a cook when he was young and his first job was preparing meals for English diplomats when Nigeria was a British colony. Once Nigeria gained its independence (40 years ago yesterday) he decided he still wanted to cook for others and has made a living of traveling around Plateau State seeing who needs an extra hand getting food on the table. He has worked for Faith Alive for a few years now fixing food for visitors who don’t know the market system or necessarily have the time to get good healthy meals together. We are trying to figure out his age; he won’t give us a definite answer but we think he is 72! If his family didn’t live nearby I’m pretty sure we would take him home with us. He told us if he went back to the States he would want to cook for our families every night and learn new American recipes. I love this man.

Adrie and I walked down to the Clinic after lunch for our weekly staff prayer meeting. Today was a memorial for Hannatu so we spent time singing praises, hearing stories about what she has done for others here at Faith Alive, and taking in what Pastor Ben closed with. I personally did not know this woman well but it was a joy to hear the positive things people had to say about “Mama” with her heart for fellow staff members and desire to keep them in prayer. Something I didn’t realize is that her husband walked out on her nearly twenty years ago (something almost unheard of in this culture) so she was given much honor and respect by her friends for raising her children as a single parent and still seeking the Lord after her church looked down on her predicament. Pastor Ben had a lot to say about his friend’s courage in the midst of struggle along with thoughts on living life to the fullest every day we are given. He challenged everyone to do the best they can with what they have. The whole experience was very encouraging, a big change from the normal culture of tying death with sin and God’s judgment.

After heading back to work (at the apartment) we wrote until dinner, had a nice family chat around the table, and watched a really lame movie. Many nights there is nothing good on, but we are dumb enough to keep the television on despite crummy shows when we are lethargic. NEPA has been blessing us with power the past few nights so we are able to take our time getting ready for bed and are even lucky enough to read without the use of a flashlight. To Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy I go...

“I hope when I die my voice doesn’t go with me. I want to keep speaking long after I have gone from this place.” - Pastor Ben

Day 28: I Think It’s Impossible To Laugh And Do Pilates.

2008-10-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Nigerian Independence Day! Today marks the 40^th anniversary of this country becoming its own ruler. I woke up very excited to eat breakfast and walk down to the Stadium where there was rumored to be a parade and rally to celebrate this holiday. I knew their celebration most likely wouldn’t involve fireworks and hot dogs, but that seemed to make it even more special. What I didn’t realize, though, is what had been said earlier this week by the government. So when I went to the Stadium and saw nothing going on, and recognized how our neighborhood sounded like any other day, I got a little suspicious. Biana broke the news to me when I got back that because of the current state of Nigeria (its political confusion, the economic crisis, the fact that NEPA doesn’t want to pay to light up stadiums across the country) Independence Day wasn’t actually going to be celebrated communally. 40 years of being independent was achieved with another day of normalcy. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing but it made me pretty sad.

Because all of my plans of celebration were, well, thrown out a few days earlier without my knowledge, I enjoyed another day of rest and relaxation. The people down the street were still building the apartment complex so I stopped, said Hello, and gawked for a few minutes before heading to the Clinic to check e-mails. Lunch, reading, writing, and then we decided it was time to break out Return of the King to make up for our lack of epic-ness this morning. There is nothing quite like watching Lord of the Rings with the church next door blaring their praise through speakers. While men and orcs battle over Gondor “Amazing Grace” is being sung with Nigerian accents in the background.

Another fabulous dinner from Baba was followed by all three women in our flat throwing on the workout clothes for a little bit of pilates action. We all looked pretty ridiculous, nothing like our perfectly in-shape instructor Ana, but we’re getting better each day. There was a lot of laughing and we didn’t quite make it through the video since The Seal is too much to handle when you can’t breathe through giggles. We desperately need some sleep. And some chocolate. It looks like October is going to be even more interesting than September...bring it on!

Day 27: Laziness Is Asking Someone To Brush Your Teeth.

2008-09-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up to Musa walking down the hallway to bring us water from the well. He comes once a week to haul buckets with well water up to the second story for our bathroom and kitchen. We have asked him to let us help on more than one occasion but have grown to find that Nigerians find it incredibly rude to impose on their hospitality in that way. He doesn’t want us to feel like we need to assist him, he wants us to appreciate this gift he gives us. That has been difficult for me to accept because I am one who always feels the need to repay people for whatever they have given to or done for me. So this morning I applied this new way of thinking while eating breakfast and instead of insisting I lend a hand just took the time to talk to Musa when he was done bringing up the water and thank him for his service. He laughed and told me he is glad we are becoming more Nigerian.

Today was the last day of feasting after Ramadan so, like yesterday, things were pretty quiet around the neighborhood. We walked to the Clinic for a little while and ended up helping Dr. Chris round up his three out-of-control children for a good part of the time there. Passing an apartment complex that is in the midst of it’s final completion I witnessed one of the most outstanding pictures of community. I will always kick myself for not having a camera on me. There were huge piles of rocks and dirt on the street being shoveled by teenagers, carried by able-bodied men, and transported to three levels of people who were working together to put this building together. On each level there must have been thirty men and women, working hard with huge smiles, singing as they went along. They stood on wooden planks out along the far side of the structure; probably not the safest environment but no one looked afraid. Who needs to hire construction workers when you live in a neighborhood?

We made it back for lunch followed by another lazy afternoon of reading, Pilates, and long conversations. Kristen and Jon both worked in the Boundary Waters region near the Canadian border so I always enjoy hearing their outdoor adventures. It’s also fun to hear what life looks like in different parts of our country. It is so diverse! I really enjoy being with the Draskovics and know that once they go back to Fargo we will still be hearing quite a bit from each other.

Baba cooked us “Special” dinner which ended up being a delicious meal of rice, veggies, meat, fried plantains, AND a fruit cobbler. A huge meal to end a lazy day--perfect! We made things even better by sitting around and watching an hour of America’s Funniest Home Videos before heading off to bed. Not the most productive day here, but definitely one that adds to the adventure of Jos.

Day 26: I Used To Have A Lisp. Luckily I’m Much Cooler Now.

2008-09-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

This is the first celebration day for Muslims after the season of Ramadan, a day devoted to prayer and thanksgiving, so it looked a little different around Jos. For one thing, the normal hustle and bustle of daily living was much quieter this morning since so many people have gone back to their home village on holiday. Muslim or not every person in Nigeria loves a holiday! Most shops are closed, traffic is not as heavy, and things are generally much quieter. Even the Clinic is only open to out-patients until noon and almost everyone has taken the time off to be with their families.

Because of all this I was able to sleep in a bit this morning and wander down to work whenever I felt like it. I went downstairs at about 8:30 to grab a quick breakfast and Baba insisted of walking me the few blocks to Faith Alive. I felt like a celebrity. Baba is the most loved man in this neighborhood (and I believe if he traveled would quickly become the most loved man in the world) so we greeted every person we came into contact with and he checked up on how they were getting along. There is a bit of a language barrier between the two of us, but my sweet little old cook sure knows how to speak without words. He handed me a banana in case I got hungry later and told me to have a good day until we saw each other again at lunch. If only we could bring him home with us!

Emma told me I could take the monstrous book back to the flat to work on instead of in the M&E office/club. I took a few minutes to say Hello to the few workers who were present before heading back home with Adrie. Dr. Onyijiaka (we call him Old School) gave me the compliment of my life when he walked up to me and, taking my hand, told me in his wonderful wise Nigerian accent, “Cait, you are REALLY cute today.” How can you not feel good about yourself when a doctor in his 60s tells you that? We walked home and it was nice to keep working on my project with Glen Hansard playing in the background instead of some Nigerian playboy.

Lunch was followed by a grocery run with Biana and Naomi and I had my first experience with the beggars. I had heard that there is a subculture of young boys in parts of the city who spend all day walking from person to person begging for food. Many of them are orphaned, some live on the streets creating their own family with other children, and still some are sent out by their poor parents or relatives as a way to get some extra food into the home. I didn’t quite know what to do when I was approached by a seven-year-old asking me in broken English if I had anything to eat I could share with him. I had to tell him the truth that I did not. He looked at me with those beautiful big eyes and I felt my heart break as he started to walk away. Biana said that there are a few organizations that have started in the recent past to work with these children and try to give them a better life than wandering the streets day in and day out hoping for a hand-out. I guess part of being in a new place is seeing things you aren’t comfortable with.

When we got back home I did my pilates, enjoyed looking through some pictures on my iphoto, and had a fabulous dinner of curry and fried plantains. I will never get over fried plantains. They are just too good. Tonight’s dinner discussion started with kidney stones (Biana and I were the only two experienced stoners) and ended with embarrassing moments our families caught on tape. The Bairds seem to have a few more than others...thank you Uncle Norm! Oh well, I’m glad people still think I’m cute.

Day 25: Whose Turn Is It? This Is Getting Crazy!

2008-09-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 8:30 exactly and was more than ready to start another day. Breakfast, chatting with Adrie, and then a nice walk to United Baptist were all very enjoyable. Church has been a little different every Sunday so far so I was interested to see how today would go. We had the normal mix of old hymns and current Nigerian praise songs, the procession of offering, and acknowledged every member who had a birthday in the month of September (which took a while). My greatest hope was that the nice pastor who I can’t understand wasn’t preaching today, but when he got up with his Bible I knew that it was going to be another Sunday of trying to read lips. The reading was from Isaiah 60 talking about the New Jerusalem, a passage I have always found to be really beautiful. Nigerians resonate well with looking forward to a Kingdom where righteousness rules over all and peace resides in every household. I have been spending time over the past couple of years thinking deeper into what ushering in this Kingdom looks like in the here and now, I hope to speak with Pastor Ben and Pastor Esther about what that means in this culture.

We gave Baba the day off so we scavenged for leftovers and made our own Jos version of rice bowls for lunch. I desperately miss the need for chopsticks. After eating Adrie and I decided to try out the Pilates video together and thought we were going to pass out after the extra 12-minute “Energy Boost!” It is difficult to find a way to exercise around here considering a) It’s been insanely hot and/or pouring rain in the mornings and afternoons, b) Once it gets dark no one sets foot outside, and c) Did I honestly think I would find a gym in a place that doesn’t have a post office? We are hoping that with our powerwalking team with the addition of Ana on our pilates video we will be in the best shape of our lives! (Maybe not, but it will at least make up for sitting with our projects all day)

The weather has changed drastically over the past couple of days and is moving into what can only be described as the Insanely Windy time. High winds from the Sahara blow dust over our plateau, drive out the rain, and drop the temperature 10 degrees. Most Nigerians think that the transition from rainy to dry season is horrible but I haven’t found it to be too bad. (They also think that 75 degrees calls for wearing a sweater) The only unfavorable part is the howling noise from the winds that come up at night and make it hard to sleep. Thank the Lord I brought earplugs!

For dinner Biana made a salad, tuna fish, and brownies turned chocolate pudding cake. It was delicious and reminded us all of home. After eating we decided it was a good night for a game of Killer Uno, which soon turned into yelling, laughing, and singing (White Christmas songs for some odd reason) as we took turns making each other draw and throwing down cards out of turn. Sometimes you just need to have some ridiculousness in your life.

Day 24: I Just Can’t Quite Wrap My Mind Around It.

2008-09-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

My body is incapable of sleeping in so I was wide awake at 6:45 this morning. It was still nice to be able to lay under the covers and read for a little while before wandering downstairs for breakfast. I had intentionally made no plans for today so I could take some time to do much of nothing. So after getting food in my stomach I headed back to my room where until lunchtime I was able to organize my stuff, get a load of clothes washed, and start reading Pride And Prejudice (I’m trying to branch out. I need to read things other than depressing memoirs!). It was very relaxing and helped me catch up on some things I hadn’t gotten around to in the past few days.

At lunchtime we sat down to eat and got the devastating news that our coworker had just passed away. Hannatu was not a woman I knew well but I had heard of her before coming here from my friends Val and Char who had worked at Faith Alive last spring. She had worked at the Clinic for a few years with the financial aspect of things and everyone enjoyed being around her. She had been away at a conference the past few days and decided to take public transportation back to Jos. I don’t know the details, but there was a bad accident and she passed away a few hours later in the hospital. Travel can be dangerous if you take public transportation because there are no traffic laws. People can cram fifteen adults into a minivan and it is not uncommon to see commercial trucks plowing down the highway with four or five teenage boys holding onto the back. Yesterday I saw a woman seated with three children behind the driver of a motorbike. Biana was very upset and spent much of the afternoon without saying much. When we spoke in the living room we remembered that life does not end with death for us as believers but is actually the beginning. Unfortunately it still leaves behind sorrow--the Faith Alive staff will need time to recover and heal.

The rest of the day was a little more low-key than other Saturdays. Adrie and I each read our books and watched part of the original Planet of the Apes, we ate dinner together, and spent time speaking of happier subjects around the table. After laughing through stories about Kristen’s family cruise episodes we decided it would be an early night.

Encountering death is always difficult. In Nigeria it is an aspect of life that people must deal with more often and more intimately than I am used to. With the strong presence of disease and malnutrition here many people born into poverty don’t expect to live a full productive life. And sadly the rest of the world believes the same thing. Many of the patients I see in the hospital each morning are living in the shadow of death, diagnosed with a virus that will allow illness to attack their body. It is hard to have hope when you spend time with a man suffering from HIV and TB with bedsores on his back from lack of strength to turn his own body. It is hard to give a smile to a woman who has just heard that the dreaded condition that has weakened the bodies and spirits of people important in her life is also living in her. It is hard to be okay with death when it chooses to dwell among the people with so little in life, the people who are trying their best to live a normal life day to day. I just have to trust that God knows what is going on, even if I don’t.

Day 23: Aww. That Is So Precious.

2008-09-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was glad to wake up feeling nearly back to normal and ready to enjoy my Friday. We walked down to the Clinic for devotions with Uncle Thomas, which were focused on the need for power. He spoke of a person’s desire for strength and control in their lives, especially for men. There is an undercurrent in their culture that men should be more powerful than women not only as the head of the household but also as the decision-maker all across the board. Thomas capitalized on that and reminded his group of listeners that God wants to be the power-source behind all of his creation. It is interesting to hear a message I hear all the time in a new environment. God can teach you a lot when you hear from different voices.

My system is working out well and I am plugging along on the government book. I am in the middle of February 2005, patient number 987. I honestly believe that this project will take me the rest of my life to complete...

To loosen up a bit after lunch Adrie I decided to join Jon and Kristen in their daily power-walk excursion rather than heading back up to our flat to get things together for the rest of the day. I got to see some new pieces of our neighborhood and, as usual, had a wonderful time saying hello to our neighbors. Near the football (soccer) stadium we turned into an oyibo choir and belted Bohemian Rhapsody to get the song that had been playing in the office out of my head. Adrie is in desperate need to good walking shoes so we decided to cut our walk five minutes short of the half-hour in order to get her a band-aid before heading back to the Clinic. As we were walking home a group of young girls leaving school (in their matching uniforms) decided to walk with us. I held the youngest one’s hand and she did a great job of keeping up with my long-legged pace. They needed to cross the busy intersection before we reached home so I insisted we wait a couple extra minutes to make sure they got across okay. Adrie reminded me that they did this every day, but I have a pretty loud maternal instinct. They waved to us from across the packed two lanes and we headed home for a quick shower before going back to work.

The rest of the day went smoothly and we were exhausted once we walked back to the apartment for dinner. Biana made the executive decision to have girl’s night in so we each grabbed a bowl of trail mix topped with peanut-butter m&ms, kicked off our shoes, and watched Love Actually. I don’t know if it was hearing Aurelia speak her broken English to accept Jamie’s proposal or the sentimental value peanut butter m&ms hold for me but by the end of the movie I had tears running down my cheeks. Definitely time for some hard-earned sleep. Nigeria is turning me into such a girl!

Day 22: Oh C’mon, Everybody On Your Feet!

2008-09-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling and looking pretty nasty, so after breakfast Kristen and Adrie decided for me that it would be a good morning for me to sleep instead of work. I slept soundly from 8 until 11 and then decided to take a bucket bath since, well, at home showers always make me feel better. The cold water at least made me feel alive enough to eat some lunch and head down to the Clinic for the afternoon.

Thursdays we have staff prayer meeting after lunch so I was glad to survive the walk from our flat to Faith Alive in time to sit in on that. Today Uncle Thomas (also known as Pastor Love) informed us that it was praise day at the Clinic. A full hour of dancing and singing for our Lord--it doesn’t get much better than that. Or does it? See what us visitors didn’t realize is that Thomas was not leading the praise, oh no. WE were leading the praise. If you were the lucky (or unlucky) person that got called on you would run up to the front and start the next song to keep the cycle of music going. I was terrified when Thomas called, “Cait! Lead us in a song!” and explained that I only knew one-and-a-half Nigerian praise songs, and they had already been used. He laughed and told me that he would wait for me to share next week. Thankfully he called on Jon right after me and told him that he needed to lead us all in Kristin’s favorite Nigerian song to the Lord. Jon chose the song we sing in church that only has two words, which I thought was a smart idea. Kristen didn’t seem offended by his selection. So it went on like that, Thomas calling on people to lead us in their husband’s favorite song, their church’s favorite hymn, whatever came to his mind. We sang songs in Hausa, old Baptist hymns, and some song about humility where you had to “bend low”, which immediately reminded me of Edison High prom. My favorite was Dr. Kanu getting up and belting out a song in his native tongue that we all tribal danced to. Very few people chosen had choir-worthy voices and the microphone kept shutting off, but I think that is what made it so beautiful. A little taste of what praising without ceasing looks like.

Ima told me not to worry about work just make sure I got better so I went back to the apartment when I started getting light-headed again. I slept for another little while and got up to get ready for the rest of the afternoon. Today was Jon’s 26^th birthday so we decided yesterday to give Baba the night off and take Mr. Draskovic out to the Net Cafe for dinner and dessert. Greg took us over to the restraunt and we grabbed the table near the fish-tank. Biana and I got burgers and fries (sometimes you just need American food), Adrie and Kristen got Greek, and the birthday boy got spinach and cottage-cheese ravioli. Good times! We all enjoy laughing so tonight we shared some good birthday stories. I fell upon a memory of a certain cousin blowing out my birthday candles one year because when the family started singing Happy Birthday I hid under the table... We enjoyed a scoop of gelato after our meal (Jon also got a monstrous piece of chocolate cake because, of course, he can) before heading home. I feel like I should continue in our time of praise but that will have to happen in my dreams.

Day 21: I Think I Was Meant To Be Royalty.

2008-09-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

The group was pretty lethargic this morning, but I know that is because we were thinking about what our day at the Clinic had in store. So we ate breakfast and headed over to staff meeting without too much excitement. I’m glad God always knows when you need some extra thrills. The staff meeting turned into an argument over the upstairs toilets for a good twenty minutes; what shouldn’t go in them, who has the privilege to use them, where are all the keys going to unlock the door, it was quite the skirmish. I found myself more awake once I left the room to continue on my documentation project.

I can almost guarantee this is the most tedious task I have ever been assigned but I got through every patient that came through the doors for HIV testing in January of 2005 over the course of five hours. The guy next to me watched a movie for half of the day with headphones on, which, needless to say, was driving me absolutely crazy. He’s getting paid by a non-profit business to do this?! (A rant for a day when I have more energy) Ima, the guy in charge, keeps thanking me profusely and telling me that if I ever need to rest my hand or walk up and down the stairs to get my blood flowing to not feel bad about leaving the room for a while because I am being such a great help. So at least I have a good supervisor. Plus, today there was the added bonus of enjoying an hour’s worth of boy band music coming from our speaker-system. Apparently the Backstreet Boys are still good to go in Jos, Nigeria! I wonder what they would do if we all decided to listen to my itunes one of these days...

A quick lunch and then back to the grind where I was able to come up with a quicker writing system; at least working on this is giving me the time to experiment with how my brain organizes things. After work Adrie and I dragged ourselves the few blocks to the flat where we collapsed until dinnertime. I was able to finish reading Dry and am now on the hunt to read everything that Augusten Burroughs has ever put on paper. Oh memoirs and bizarre life stories. After dinner it was another crazy night of Phase 10 and Adrie schooled us! (I on the other hand had a score that looked like all of our combined weights) After deciding that going to bed at 8:30 was a pretty good idea we said our Goodnights and Jon spoke up, “I think I was meant to be royalty.” Without waiting for any questions he went on, “I just require a lot of sleep.” Good point.

After a day like today it is always interesting to take a step back and think through what it is I am doing here. I am a volunteer from a different country who is working on random tasks at a health clinic, trying to overcome the social and cultural barriers that comes with being a foreigner, wrestling with questions about God and life, and missing my family and friends back home. It doesn’t sound like such a glamorous experience but the truth is I am eating up every second of it. When will I ever get the chance to live without any sort of structure again? It is very freeing and I know I am learning a lot. Maybe one of the best things God could ever teach me will come from sitting at a desk and silently scribbling names and dates into a giant Nigerian government directory.

Day 20: Hey, Turn It Up!

2008-09-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Uncle Thomas took center stage this morning and gave a devotion based on how the Pharisees, a sect of religious rulers during Jesus’ ministry, were such hypocrites when they should have been godly men. He spoke on how we, as Christians, find ourselves so many times being individuals who can say wonderfully profound things but can’t find the passion within us to live out our convictions. Offering is a big deal in churches here so everyone in the congregation dances down to the plates on Sunday mornings. Thomas said that we like to do the dancing to the front of the church but many times only pretend to give a gift back to God. He does a great job of making things culturally relevant here.

I started my new assignment today in the Monitoring and Evaluation section of the Clinic. It is the data processing group so my first job was to take the patients already put into the computer system and write them into a government directory which they will take in a few weeks. It is a bit tedious and, because of my attitude towards handwriting, really makes my hand hurt. Though my current task isn’t the most fun I really enjoy the atmosphere. The ten other M&E staff are my age, there is constant American and Nigerian hip-hop blaring from speakers, and all the girls wear heels. Basically I feel like I am back in my classes at Edison. I think I am going to have a more difficult time remembering everyone’s names since we don’t get to look at each other as much as other departments! This takes up my morning and afternoon shifts at Faith Alive so I will have to get used to writing hundreds of dates and names every day. If I wasn’t helping them out so much I would probably ask for a job that would allow me to step outside...

Adrie started her task of calculating all ARV drugs given out over the past six months in the pharmacy so we were both really out of it by the end of the day. We ate dinner (Mac and cheese plus fresh papaya) and I started my first of several hundred loads of hand-washed laundry. It is pretty fun to try and wring out your jeans over a bucket in the bathtub. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be dry by next week! We decided there was not much we could do besides stare at the wall so we chose the next best thing and watched Across the Universe on my laptop. There is something very bizarre about finishing a movie and coming back to reality in Nigeria. Sometimes I forget that I am really here.

Day 19: I’m Glad God Doesn’t Tell Me Everything.

2008-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Pancakes with Nutella gave us the energy to start another week at the Clinc. Pastor Ben opened the day with devotions about God’s bride, every person, being torn between the World and God. He decided to give a visual illustration and asked a man in the front to stand up and represent people. Ben became the World and Uncle Thomas got to represent God (of course! This man is so full of love) and the bride had to stand in-between. Ben spoke about the things that we desire and where we normally turn to get those desires fulfilled: Love, a sense of Purpose, Wisdom, Joy. In the end the bride must realize that their God is the one who is the source of all these things. It was a very good message and, while we were all processing what we had just heard, Thomas made it all make sense by taking the man’s hand in his and proclaiming loudly “He is my wife!” Thank God for starting off a Monday laughing hysterically.

I had the joy of spending another morning with my friends in the pharmacy counting pills, organizing, emptying boxes, and giving encouragement to Peju after yelling to an unhappy customer. There is something very fun about working this job; back home I would never be allowed to step foot inside a pharmacy until I at least knew what B6 was used for (...Isaiah told me, but I forgot).

Adrie and I arrived at lunch just in time for a huge downpour to appear outside. The rain has become more sporadic as we move from the Jos rainy season into the time of Sahara winds. Jon wasn’t so fortunate and walked through the door completely soaked and muddy. We enjoyed our food for a little longer than usual but realized the rain was not letting up. As a Nigerian you learn that anything must wait until the rain lets up a bit so Adrie and I headed upstairs to read until we could make it back without wading across the river/street. Once the water turned from cascades to a mere sprinkle we headed back to Faith Alive. Forty-five minutes later than normal days but no one batted an eyelash. It made me think of my job and that if we are five minutes late the whole team must come earlier. I’m glad that rule doesn’t exist here!

The rest of the work day was a little off and we headed back home early since a thunderstorm was moving in. Back at the flat we enjoyed our nightly meal and table discussion and Biana headed off to bed early. Adrie started up a conversation with Kristen in the kitchen and Jon and I lounged in the living room bouncing ideas off each other. Jon and I have realized that we share many things in common (including a distaste of musicals and admiration of Shane Claiborne) so we started talking about, well, God. What is the American Church missing? What makes the Nigerian Church so focused on sin? Why do we always want to know what’s next in God’s plan for us? What does peace really look like? How am I being an example of Christ? It was wonderful. A couple of hours later we were trying our best to keep our eyes open so we agreed to call it a night.

“You know what,” Jon said at one point in our conversation, “I want to live like every day is a new part of a great adventure.” Amen brother.

Day 18: We Are Turning Into A Family.

2008-09-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Baba had the day off so Biana took the motherly responsibility of cooking for all five of us. Breakfast was scrambled eggs with tomato and onion along with toast and jam. It was really good and got us off to a good start. Jon and Kristen went to church at 6 this morning (I thought American churches start early) so while they went back to sleep Biana and I headed off to United Baptist. The fellowship there is always great and I’m sure it was a great message today but the pastor who spoke is so hard to understand I wonder if the locals even know what he is saying. I know the message had to do with what is means to be created in God’s image so I listened in to what passage he was using and did some of my own soul-searching. The coolest part of the service came at the end when they brought up a very bashful young couple who had been married this weekend. It is tradition in the Nigerian Church for brothers and sisters in the congregation to celebrate a couple’s marriage by taking an offering to help them start off on the right track financially. The music began to play, everyone started clapping, and people danced their way up to the ushers to bless these two people with a few naira. What a sense of community!

Biana made tuna for lunch and we enjoyed hearing more of her life stories. She shared stories about living in a tent doing reforestation projects in Wyoming for a year, sneaking out of church services with Martha to get soda from the market and making it back in time for closing prayer, growing up with a Slavic mother and Italian father, raising a family in an intentional community in Kerman, lots and lots of things I have never heard! It has been really fun to learn about the lesser-known side of this woman, I can tell she hasn’t changed much over the years.

The rest of the afternoon was very relaxing. Adrie and I caught up on e-mails, I started reading Dry by Augusten Burroughs (because memoirs make the best reading material), did a pilates video (and remembered how flexible I USED to be), and took a bucket bath by lantern light. Dinner was an amazing leftover stew and the five of us spent a couple of hours together eating, cleaning dishes, doing some chores, and sharing funny stories. Somehow accordions popped up in conversation so we had a good time sharing about Grandpas and family reunions and polka weddings. It is always a good time with our little group. We miss our families so much, but God is showing us that we don’t need to worry because we have our own support group right here: Mother Biana with her two children Adrie and Caitlin along with Auntie Kristen and Uncle Jon who live right around the corner. What an unexpected blessing.

Day 17: I Could Fall Asleep Right Here...

2008-09-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday mornings are my only chance to sleep in but with the constant stream of Jos sounds I could only make it until about 7:45. Oh well, it is still waking up later than usual! With all the extra time this morning I was able to do some cleaning, wash my hair, and start a new book. I also proved that I should have gone to beauty school and cut a few inches off of Biana’s hair (at her request!). It is a nice break from anything structured.

Goddy came and picked up Adrie, Jon, and myself right after lunch to take us to Miangu where I was asked to speak. Dr. Chris and his three children came along as well as Pam, an older nurse from New Mexico who is working here for a few weeks. It was a bumpy car ride but offered me more breathtaking views of the area around Jos. I learned that the area we were heading to was formed by volcanic activity so there were boulders everywhere! My favorite thing had to be all the orange and yellow wildflowers that were growing in abundance along the hills and around the mud huts, though.

After an hour of driving we came to a gated retreat center where currently some high-achieving university students from around Jos were having a weekend together. We were escorted to a large fellowship hall where about fifty students were waiting. I was told not to be nervous about speaking, so I tried my best not to be. Dr. Chris had been the planned speaker but everyone seemed excited that an American their age was leading Your Work In Ministry instead. It was a very interactive hour revolving around how people are called to serve God in whatever capacity He puts them in. We looked at Jesus’ disciples, serving God in different jobs, and took the time to reflect on how we need to view our own jobs as a way of following Christ’s example. It wasn’t incredibly churchy, it wasn’t even very scholarly, but it was a wonderful time of dialogue and laughter. I felt good about how it went and was very encouraged by the number of people who stopped me afterwards to say hello, tell me about themselves, and think through some of their struggles in their work.

We stayed in Miangu for a while more and entertained ourselves by running around with the Isichei children and eating guava that Goddy was beating down from a tree with a giant stick. It was nice to feel grass between my toes after days of walking along trash-lined dirt roads. The ride home was a little more difficult since the kids, especially Prince, were overly hyper and wanted everyone’s full attention. Jon ended up doing math problems with Emily (age 7) while Adrie played with Joey (age 3) and Prince taught me some new songs (age 5). We were exhausted when we got back to Jos just before dinner. Biana and I took a quick lap around the neighborhood before sitting together for a meal of coos-coos and beef. We called it a day earlier than usual and watched a bit of Arabic satellite television where Grumpier Old Men was on with weird subtitles. It was a long day, but a very good one, and we are all hoping to be able to get up refreshed and ready to go tomorrow!

Day 16: You Are Experiencing Real Nigeria Now My Friends!

2008-09-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

George and Naomi came back to the Clinic to give devotions this morning before they fly home to Buckinghamshire. They spoke about the armor of God and encouraged patients to put their trust in God for strength. I’m glad they understand that sickness is not a punishment, just a part of life. I wish we could have talked before they left but they had to get to the airport in Abuja by the afternoon and it is quite a long drive.

It was a much quieter morning at the Clinic so after a few hours at the pharmacy (where I counted pills, talked to Peju, and played with a coworker’s baby) I got to talk a while with Jon and Kristen. They are such amazing people and I feel they are wise beyond their years. We talked about how being here helps put life as a whole in perspective and asked a lot of questions of each other and God. I think it’s good to be in a spot where everything isn’t spelled out for us--I have a feeling this is what walking with the Lord looks like most of the time!

After lunch Biana decided it was time for us to go grocery shopping so we drove down to the Tamerash Market, the only market that specializes in American products on this side of Jos. It was funny walking the aisles and finding Pringles for $5.50 a can and Frosted Flakes for just over $10. I guess these are quite a rare commodity around here! Luckily I found hair gel so I will look a little more presentable as the wind continues to pick up. None of us have had ice cream(or dessert of any kind) in the past two weeks so we hit the Net Cafe for Tiramisu gelato, which really hit the spot. The afternoon at Faith Alive was even quieter than the morning so I got the chance to think through my discussion for tomorrow. I’m surprisingly not stressed about it.

Dinner was fabulous (I could eat my weight in fried plantains!) and shortly after we finished Pastor Ben stopped by for an unexpected visit. He told us to start getting used to that, Nigerians don’t have any sense of business or time. The next two hours turned into one of the greatest conversations I have had the chance to be a part of in my life thus far. What started as a nice talk about what the Church in Nigeria is focusing on turned into a real life game of Battle of the Sexes! Ben is very interested in what different aspects of America looks like and asked about the institution of marriage. We pulled apart every aspect of it; polygamy, intercultural unions, legal issues, and, most importantly, the role of the man and the role of the woman. Divorce is frowned upon in the Nigerian culture but on the rare occasions it does happen the man gets custody of the children and his wife must live with a bad reputation. What that means is that a woman basically gives up her entire family and future in a divorce, one reason Ben thinks divorce rates are so low here. Back in the States divorce does not spell disaster for a wife but Ben believes not enough Americans take the time to work out their problems before turning to drastic measures. He also talked about how the man needs to lead his family because women are “weaker vessels.” The sparks began to fly... That debate never got settled, but to summarize the Americans believe God sees men and women as equals and the Nigerians hold to the belief that God ordered Adam to rule over his wife because she was not as intelligent. After all SHE was the greater sinner, she ate the apple first. I spent a lot of time laughing and left the arguing to the rest of the group. He ended the night thanking God for Jon and Kristin’s strong relationship and then praying for the future spouses of Adrie and myself. I thought that was really neat.

Jon and Kristin found photobooth on my laptop so we closed off the night laughing until we couldn’t breathe. We all agreed it still wasn’t as funny as the conversations we just had.

Day 15: That Is Great News! You Are Now Mine!

2008-09-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

Baba always makes good breakfast and it is nice to start off the day with a group of friends before walking down to the Clinic so my days have pretty much all started on the right foot. The staff has been talking about fruits of the Spirit recently so this morning’s devotion highlighted producing good qualities in yourself and striving to be more Christ-like. It was more a time of personal reflection than the last few days and was definitely more encouraging.

I decided, with the help of my friend Sholah, to check out the lab this morning and see what goes on there. At 8:00 I walked through the doors and into a heated argument between the lab technicians and some man I didn’t. I felt I had interrupted and said I could come back later but Mary, one of the chemists, insisted I stay. Perhaps she wanted me to hear what was going on, I don’t know, but I picked up from the conversation that the lab was having problems with a program that sponsors many of the patients here. Unfortunately I have heard a lot of negative things about this certain group over the past two weeks, a very different view for the American who only sees the financial side of it, and have come to realize that some programs can do much more harm than help if not utilized the right way. Anyways, once the man left I let Pastor Ben (the head of the lab) know that I was there for the morning. He let me know he intended to have me the rest of my stay at Faith Alive, which I think would be good thing, but I reminded him that he at least had me for the day. He immediately put me to work cleaning and organizing the chaos that is the lab office. I spent most of the standing on a chair or sitting on the floor putting things in cupboards and getting pretty dusty. Mary insisted I wear gloves in case any chemical spilled on me. It was a tiring morning but I have always enjoyed projects where people can see the physical progression as you work.

We had a quick lunch since Biana got stuck at the Clinic breaking up arguments in every department between the Faith Alive staff and members from the program. Baba insisted that he pack up her food and take it to her himself, a kind gesture from an even kinder old man. When I got back to Faith Alive we had a good time of fellowship and thanking God for his blessings, which eased the tension most of the doctors had been dealing with all morning. Ben wasn’t in the best mood so he told me to finish my project in the morning when he was done dealing with our “guests.” I spent the next little while on the computer and talked with Biana about what the heck was going on. Sounds like everyone was having a rough day.

We are moving into the windy season in Jos so I took off down the road after work in a cloud of Nigerian dust. Thank God a woman who sells corn at the corner near our flat started up a conversation with me as I walked home. Her name is Dorothy and she is wonderful! She wants to teach me Ibo (which will go great with the three Hausa phrases I can remember) and marry me off to her brother. I told her I would love to learn her native language but asked if I could substitute buying some of her corn instead of becoming her sister-in-law. She said she would think about it, even though she believes my boyfriend would willingly give me up to a Nigerian man I have never met.

A bucket bath to get the dust off, a full Baba-cooked dinner, and an intense game of Killer Uno wrapped up the day well. I am getting progressively more tired each night, but I think that means I am living each day to the maximum capacity. What an adventure!

Day 14: Well done Cait!

2008-09-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Wednesday mornings are staff meetings at Faith Alive. Today Shegan shared a devotional about how God speaks to each person individually through the Bible followed by announcements from every department. Wrapping up the business side of things they presented the Person of the Month award for the person who others have noticed living out God’s intentions for the Clinic. They gave it to Dr. Kanu who from what little time I have been able to spend with him seems like the best candidate for anything related to loving people and working hard.

I was sent down to the pharmacy for the morning to do some more pill counting and prescription writing. It’s a great environment to work in with friendly coworkers and the added blessing of having a television, which keeps me up-to-date with Nigerian politics, media, and hip-hop culture. I got into the zone and ended up counting out seven bottles of medicine between conversation and my own thoughts. Isaiah came over with a huge smile to tell me I was doing a wonderful job, one of the fastest pharmacists he had ever seen! I was so proud of myself! I beamed and asked for another task when his face got serious. “Cait! You are working too hard. You need to take a break. Now.” He handed me my purse and scooted me out the door. American and Nigerian work ethics are worlds apart. I took that extra half-hour of free time to enjoy my lunch and take a nap before heading back.

I stopped by the Faith Alive sewing shop to say Hi to the women there and get measured by Blessing. She is making me two traditional outfits from the fabric I bought at the marketplace. She claims she already knows what will flatter my features the most so I guess it will be a surprise what they turn out to be!

Joshua had told me earlier that he wanted to set my laptop up to the network so I went upstairs to his office before going back to the pharmacy. He got me onto the server without a problem, but I couldn’t log in to anything. What seemed like a simple problem ended up taking two hours to make right. So I guess working hard in the pharmacy this morning made up for the lack of my presence in the afternoon. Taking my functioning computer (followed by a thousand Thank Yous!) back to Biana’s office I was surprised to see Dr. Chris there. He told me he had been looking for me because he had something for me to do. I felt honored that there was a task he thought I would be good for. He is giving a message to a large group of university students on Saturday about being able to do ministry in any type of work setting. I told him I would love to help him out with his sermon and presentation, it would be great to finally hear him speak. “You’re not understanding,” he told me, “I want YOU to give the message.” So just like that I was signed up to give an hour-long message to a group of peers I have never met in a place I have never been. Let’s start collecting some thoughts, Miss Baird, God is making you fly.

Day 13: Do You Understand?

2008-09-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Adrie woke up this morning with the unfortunate addition of a sinus infection so she had to stay home with antibiotics and her bed. The rest of us walked over to hear Thomas give the morning devotion on the importance of being obedient to God’s will, a huge turnaround from yesterday’s morning rant. I was then invited to join in staff prayer time, a small group that gets together to pray for their coworkers needs once a week, and got strengthened for the day. I really enjoy that fact that Nigerian prayer has no structure: everyone speaks out loud and at once and you are always invited to burst into song. It is so refreshing coming from a “Dear Heavenly Father Lets-Take-Turns” approach to talking to God.

Today was my start with the Social Services aspect of Faith Alive. Pastor Esther took me to the sewing class where HIV-positive women are learning how to support themselves and their children while learning more about the love and grace of the Heavenly Father. Most women who are positive have no husband to support their family since the men usually die first. About twenty women are currently enrolled in the program and I got the chance to share in Bible study with them. Esther believes it is most important that these women, many coming from a Muslim faith, understand who Jesus is first. The discussion started about Jesus being fully God and fully man but ended with trying to discover what makes Christianity better than Islam. Esther wrapped it up saying (in her Nigerian accent), “Remember that God did not make Christians and Muslims. He made people. We need to learn how to look at our brothers and sisters past their beliefs.” I’m going to enjoy getting to know this woman better.

The rest of the morning I had the privilege to spend with and HIV counselor named Emmanuel. He described to me the process and allowed me to experience all three aspects of what being tested looks like. A patient who wants to get tested is assigned a counselor who sits them down and tells them about what HIV is, how it is spread, and what can be done to treat it. Once the person(s) understands they go down to the lab to get tested. The doctor there takes their thumb, wipes it with cotton, and jabs a thick needle into it. (I had never seen so many people jump out of a chair in my life) They then squeeze the blood into a pipette and put a few drops into a little tray with a white strip. It takes about fifteen minutes for the test to show one (negative) or two (positive) lines so the patient waits until their name is called. The doctor hands them their diagnosis on a sheet folded in half and stapled shut. It is the counselor’s responsibility to tell them the news. So they head back to their counselor who will give them the diagnosis and help from there.

I was able to follow a woman named Aliah today. Her husband had come in the day before and tested positive so she was obviously nervous. Her eyes were teary and she looked tired, just as any woman would who just received devastating news from a loved one. The couple only spoke Hausa but Emmanuel asked them if I could go with them and she agreed. I sat next to her as she got her finger poked and she flinched a little. We then waited together for her name to be called before heading back to Emmanuel. The whole time I tried to imagine what was going through her head. A normal Tuesday for most people was going to be the determining factor of the rest of this thirty-year-old’s life. She handed the note to Emmanuel while her husband put his hand on her shoulder and we all held our breath.

“Aliah, your test came back positive. You have HIV.”

Emmanuel spent a lot of time talking to the couple about what will happen next. They will need to be put on ARV drugs immediately. They will have therapy appointments with Dr. Chris once a month. They will need to eat right, live healthy lifestyles, support each other. They will need to have hope. Because all is not lost, life just changes, and God is still the same God he was two days ago. Aliah and her husband left with a quiet strength, life had changed for both of them in twenty minutes.

I got to see more patients after that. Most came out negative and Emmanuel reminded them to stay away from harmful lifestyles. One woman got the same consultation as Aliah and is bringing her husband tomorrow. In-between patients I got the chance to speak openly with Emmanuel and try to process what I was experiencing. “We must always remind them,” he told me, “that God is not punishing them with this infection. This is not a death sentence. It is a new chapter in their lives.” I want to bring that same truth back to America, I think we have forgotten it.

After an emotional eye-opening morning I was able to have a good conversation with Helen and join in at the pharmacy again after lunch. Peju, Grace, and I are starting to become good friends and I love being able to have girl talk with them. Peju has dreams of coming to America to get her Masters of Public Health, something she said her professors had been trying to push her toward, but she said her entire salary at Faith Alive over the past year would not cover the expenses. I am now on a mission to get this girl information on programs and scholarships to look into! Who says a smart Nigerian woman should be left out of the education she wants and deserves?!

After a long day of emotions, questions, and reality I am ready to go to bed. I won’t fall asleep upset, just a little more aware of what this world looks like. I pray that Aliah finds some good rest as she starts her new life.

Day 12: God Is Going To Slap Those Who Oppose Him!

2008-09-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

It was a little more difficult to get out of bed this morning since I was awake for part of the night trying to drown out the noise of a couple arguing loudly in the field next door (no one seems to do any disagreeing quietly here). I hope they woke up this morning ready for a new day.

We walked to the Clinic in time for morning devotions led by Pastor Ben, which turned out to be a little uneasy. I am slowly discovering that the spirituality of Jos is not what I had planned for, and, unfortunately, does not resonate with my theology some of the time. Today’s talk was from Acts where King Herod (one of them) did not listen to God and was consumed by worms. The story always grossly amused me when I was in junior high, but hearing it from an adult perspective is different. Ben spoke of how Herod, like many people today, did not listen to God so he “got slapped”, got what he deserved for being a sinner. He went on to compare Herod’s disobedience with prostitution, greediness, and the Nigerian government, all things this community struggles with. Giving this message to spell out God’s wrath and judgment on sinners without any mention of redemption did not sit well with me. At all. John and Kristin all always good to debrief with so we had a meaningful lunch discussion. We decided that there is a place for God’s anger and disappointment with humanity but that it is much more important to discover how much God loves us despite our shortcomings. God’s love is so much more powerful that anything else we can describe, and consequently is what so many people are missing and seeking in their lives. We want to be able to live out God’s love and grace instead of dwelling on the Lord’s anger with what people do that is wrong. John said he will now picture a giant hand coming down from Heaven to smack someone across the face whenever he hears that story.

There is an underlying tone of guilt and condemnation here that I really can’t seem to understand. Working with people with so little hope left, individuals who know pain and suffering, I can’t justify continuously bringing up the topic of sin with so little room for grace. Maybe that is one of the reasons God brought me here...

We headed back to the Clinic where I finished our alphabetizing project (Hallelujah!) and got to spend more time in the pharmacy. There is something very refreshing about getting to change tasks every so often--I feel like I know the inner workings of Faith Alive now! Conversations are getting more personal with the people I work with (“Cait are you married yet? What is your University like? Who are you voting for in your presidential election?), which is such a blessing. These people enjoy discovering new things and sharing what they know.

Dinner was a little quieter after a day with so much thinking and discussion. I finished the Kite Runner, one the most fabulous stories I have had the pleasure of reading, and started The White Man’s Burden: Why The West’s Efforts To Aid The Rest Have Done So Much Ill And So Little Good. The author did in-depth research on poverty around the world, failed attempts to squelch it, and tries to bring up new ways of looking at the problems of malnutrition, diseases, and corruption. It is one that takes a while to chew on but gives me a more political perspective of what I am living in the midst of. Hopefully Bono will be up for a book discussion when I’m done.

Day 11: Thank God For Giving Me HIV!

2008-09-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

United Baptist started their revival week this morning, which means long prayer sessions, multiple chances to give offerings, and more than anything lots of dancing and praising Jesus! I must say that I’m glad I have pretty good rhythm because here once the music starts the entire congregation bounces to the beat and yells out their praise: one giant godly mosh pit. It was difficult to understand the guest pastor this morning because of his thick accent on top of speaking very fast (and loud!) but I picked up that he was speaking about following God despite being unworthy of His standards.

The rain still hasn’t let up so we walked home in the sprinkles and enjoyed another delicious meal from Baba before heading to the Clinic for support group meeting. Today was testimony day so a few people got up and shared the journey they have been on since being diagnosed with HIV. Everyone gave thanks to God reminding us all that it is not by their own strength or even the ARV drugs that get them through each day. The most amazing part of the entire service was when a guest speaker was introduced to give his story. Bob is a tall graying white man from Santa Barbara who by looking at him would never be suspected of carrying such an unforgivable disease. His story completely blew me away:

Bob was diagnosed with AIDS in 1985 when little was known about the condition and superstitions were running rampant. When the doctors told him the news he knew his life was about to change. He was advised to keep it confidential. Worse than realizing he would soon be a social outcast in the posh society he lived in was the terror of solving how he had contracted it: Bob had cheated on his wife...three years earlier. He had carried the disease for three years before coming to the hospital with some unexplainable aches and pains. At this point in his life he had a wife who didn’t know of his actions of 1982, two young daughters, and a comfortable lifestyle. He told a few people close to him about his recent discovery and had to confess to his wife what had happened. Bob was dying and there was not much time left. But God is good. Bob’s wife was tested and found to be clean, something that is almost unheard of. She forgave him of what he had done and promised that she would stand by his side. He broke the news to his daughters a few years later and they jumped in to help. What was the greatest miracle is that five years went by and he was still alive. Bob knew that God had let him hold on a little longer to do the thing that terrified him the most: share his story with others. His health started to fail him by 1990 and his family started getting ready for his passing. About this time medical science had just come out with the first drugs and Bob was a test patient. Another miracle--they worked. Flash forward to 2008 and Bob has three grandchildren, the same loving family, and renewed strength. He believes God works through mistakes, even deadly ones, so he now goes around the world to encourage support groups and remind them to keep going. It is his calling. 26 years living positively.

When he finished Bob got 21 fist-throwing “Bouzas!” the highest respect a group of Nigerians will give. He also made a blonde cry.

It was a pivotal moment in history: A group of people who are labeled as hopeless in the world’s eyes, who have watched their family die, most waiting for their own turn to fade away, were given the chance to realize they could someday hold their grandchildren. THAT is a miracle.

Jump up and throw your fist in the air! Bouza! Baba God, Bouza!

Day 10: Oyibo, Can I Have Some Money?

2008-09-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

Adrie and I knew we had a big day ahead of us when Blessing, the energetic woman who runs the sewing school, told us yesterday that she would like to make us some traditional clothes. She offered to take us to the market and we excitedly agreed. So we slept in a little, tidied up our rooms, headed to the Clinic for a bit, and had lunch before our great adventure.

The marketplace is not very far from our apartment, only about a twenty-minute walk, so Blessing, Adrie, and myself took off down the noisy traffic-filled streets to the central market for this side of town. Now when I think of a market I tend to think of where I went in Mexico City where traders and craftsmen set up in booths for blocks in a sort of central park setting. Jos is very different. The marketplace could easily be its own city. For miles people have taken over small garage-sized rooms in hundreds of two-story buildings. The lanes are so narrow that you have to touch every person who tries to pass and try not to step on the fish or potatoes being sold just outside shop openings. People are yelling out their bartering bids, walking down the aisles trying to sell live chickens that they are holding by the feet, and perfectly balancing large bowls of fruits and vegetables while they do it. It is one of the most overwhelmingly amazing and amazingly overwhelming places I have been.

Blessing knew exactly where the best fabric shop was (conveniently located in the center of the madness) and we walked into a closet with hundreds of colorful pieces of cloth draped along the walls. It was a tough decision but Adrie and I each chose two patterns that we particularly enjoyed and Blessing haggled with the shop-owner in Hausa to get us the best prices. Once we got our bags we felt accomplished and were free to explore the area. Shop after shop of fabric, American clothing, household goods, books, even X-rated videos. There must have been at least a million pairs of sandals being sold. I’m not joking. People gave us hopeful looks and even (literally) tried to pull us into their shops once they noticed the Nigerian woman was towing two white Americans behind her. One man in a shop picked out an entire outfit for me (it was actually really cute) but I had to tell him the truth that I didn’t have enough naira with me to splurge like that. He was very kind and told me to come back another day for a lower price, he just thought it would look nice on me. It was a strange feeling knowing that when people saw us they immediately thought of wealth and prosperity, consumerism and want. I hate to think that the majority of the white people they have seen bring that attitude with them. Blessing bought some groceries and after standing at the butcher’s aisle for a few minutes trying to figure out what parts of the animal were for sale we decided to head home. Crowds, heat, and raw meat make a lethal combination if you attempt to endure it for too long.

We hung out with Kristin and John for a good while back at their apartment (which is directly downstairs from ours) and enjoyed some more “comparison of cultures” chats. Today’s topics ranged from Catholicism in New York to family values and morals in the Church to the story of their wedding. We also talked about food we wished we could find here; Adrie wants pad thai, John wants biscotti, Kristin wants Mexican anything, and I miss my chocolate milk. We all know quite a bit about each other now and enjoy being able to think through and talk about our experiences here and at home.

Biana and Naomi from the Clinic decided tonight would be a great night to take Adrie and I out to dinner at a more formal restaurant called the Net Cafe. Strange name since there are no computers there and they don’t specialize in coffee... It is instead a restaurant/bakery/ice cream parlor. We enjoyed some Nigerian takes on cultural food and enjoyed homemade pasta, fried potatoes, and chicken of various sorts. It was delicious, filling, and allowed for more great conversation. As we were leaving Biana took us to the dessert side to buy Greg some ice cream (since he drives us wherever we need to go) and I studied what they had there; scones, cookies, bread. I looked into the refrigerator next to the cakes and my eyes grew bright. There it was. Staring back at me. My chocolate milk. If only I had Gavin and Joshua Dow here to share it with!

Day 9: God Is Love. And God Is Good.

2008-09-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

A regular morning led to more alphabetizing led to more tiredness among the working oyibos. I’m glad to know that this tedious task is almost over and then I am moving into my real role on staff at Faith Alive...although it will probably change daily! Pastor Ben asked if he “could take” me for the next three months, which I think is an awesome fit for someone interested in different types of ministry. We’ll see how that all works out. Joshua came and got my computer hooked up finally so I was able to get my blog started and check up on some e-mails. It is still strange getting used to the internet as my only real form of communication back home.

Because of our mind-aching task, the heat, and the fact that it’s Friday we were allowed to go home early. This was the perfect opportunity for me to read more than half of The Kite Runner, one of the best reads I have picked up, which ultimately led me to deep thoughts about life and friendship and the role of God in our earthly spirituality. Khaled Hosseni (the author) has an insider’s take on what world religions are doing to God in order to justify their actions. Afghanistan is one of the many places where it has so easily been seen that man will cause harm to others in the name of the Most High and work on incorporating their religious beliefs into their humanly systems. I fall into that trap so many times with the “God will bless me if...”s or “I feel led to do...”s when really it is my own nature that wants to do these things. That always bugs me about us, the fact that we try to make every one of our decisions God’s when we knew deep down that we just wanted to do it ourselves. If a little prayer doesn’t make it fall apart than surely God has ordained it. Riiiight.

So thinking through all these things and living in this new environment I keep wondering what it is that God wants to teach me. I’m sure it is a lot of things. But maybe it is not. I’ll just keep enjoying this adventure and allowing my mind to go places it sometimes doesn’t have the strength to go. Luckily I have an amazing man in my life who is wondering the same things so in an e-mail he shared this with me:

God is love. And God is good.

I’ll keep running with that...

Day 8: Oyibo! Oyibo! Oyibo!

2008-09-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

The morning started early so we could pile in the van to start the trek to Kafanchan and Bakin Kogi. Greg (the most sacrificial driver in the world!) drove my trio out with our new English friends the two hours to these villages where Faith Alive is reaching out. The ride reminded me how beautiful this country is, landscape and people. When we reached Bakin Kogi we took a little trek up a muddy hill to the nearly completed House of Hope where a doctor and nurse will soon take residence to give aid to the farmers living in the area. Once this first phase is done (they are planning on the end of this month) then they will start the process of building a small satellite clinic on the same piece of property. I got to walk with some of the local kids for a while and talked to the groundskeeper who is very proud to be taking part in this new development right behind his home. He even let me take his picture. After that it was a short drive to Kafanchan, a city the size of Fresno, where a satellite clinic was started a couple of years ago. Not the most fancy place by any means, their “lab” was a small shelving unit, but still reaching out to its neighbors with love through medical care. The lead doctor there named Andrew told us that through Faith Alive they have discovered that nearly 25% of the community there is HIV-positive. They have more than five thousand on ARV drugs currently. Statistics make you sad when you read them in a textbook, but to be living amid the harsh reality...that is something else altogether.

We made it back in time for staff devotional and prayer meeting where Pastor Ben discussed the need for evangelism from all who worked there. There are people here who actually have never heard the name of Jesus or have completely misguided ideas about Christianity because of tribal rituals and religions. I can’t say the same for the States. Ben actually made someone come up to the front and tell us without any preparation what she would say if she were presenting to Gospel to a villager who had never heard it prior. It was an interesting talk, not one I thought particularly applied to my home situation, and I am glad I am starting to pick up more on Nigerian spirituality. More alphabetizing with Naomi and George followed and I am pleased to say we are almost halfway there!

Tiredness is starting to set in earlier during the day with all the projects we have been put on so we came home to a great dinner of what Baba described as “River Fish” (What kind of fish is this Baba?) and afterwards Adrie and I played Phase 10 with John and Kristin. I won, but no big deal. It’s nice to have other Americans around who can understand where we are coming from, share stories about things back home, and enjoy this adventure together.

Day 7: You Girls Are Looking Very American Today.

2008-09-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am getting used to mornings here. I wake up to roosters, people laughing and singing, and the rev of motorbikes. It is quite refreshing to talk to God under these conditions. It doesn’t take long to get ready (since there is no need to do my hair or makeup) and then we walk over to the Clinic saying Good Morning to store owners and waving at their children. It is a very different scene than my normal routine in Fresno...

We sat in on staff meeting at 8 am (where I finally met Pastor Ben) and started the day right at work with prayer and fellowship. Adrie and I have been working on an alphabetizing project the past two days so the first part of the morning I enjoyed reading every person who has come to Faith Alive whose last name started with a “D” or an “O”. It is a bit of a tedious assignment but it is important to get done and we are the only employees who actually have the ability to sit at a desk for a few hours instead of checking up on patients. We are hoping to be done soon since it bothers Adrie’s back and my brain.

While we were filing away we had a huge surprise when two blonde oyibos walked into the office! White people in Jos! George and Naomi (not a married couple as George likes to point out) are here from Buckinghamshire, England, which is apparently right outside of London. They are in Jos for three weeks with a relief organization and have been assigned to different hospitals in the city to check out what God is doing. We got to spend lunchtime together and it was really nice to be around some Brits again (much love to Simeon, Louisa, and Rachel)! Naomi is going to be a med student and George is starting off his gap year, which will end hiking the Appalachian Trail from February to July. Needless to say they are pretty rad 18-year-olds.

More filing followed by bartering with Helen about some jewelry she made us ended up making this one of our more tiring days. We got to come home early where I enjoyed another freezing cold bucket shower to help me wake up and feel clean! I started The Kite Runner, which I literally can’t put down, and feel very blessed that God has given me time to do some pleasure reading.

Dinner with John and Kristin (it’s starting to sound like a talk show) gave way to conversation about marriage in Nigeria. Marriage here is much more like a contract than a relationship since the most important aspect of marriage is having children. Brides are “bought” in a sense that the family sits down with a potential suitor and spells out how much their daughter is worth. The man then spends the next few months completing the list, which is verified and approved by the village wedding coordinator on their wedding day. They have two ceremonies, one traditional followed by a “white wedding”, which can be months apart. Until the second “official” Christian ceremony the couple may not live together, even after the traditional service. All in all marriage isn’t a very big deal here. People rarely wear wedding rings, spend much of the time apart from their spouse, and husbands are allowed to take new wives if their original is not producing quality children. How different from our ideas of love, sex, and getting hitched in Vegas! I’m glad I will be able to marry the guy I love without my family wanting anything in return and without the pressure of planning two ceremonies. More than that, we will spend time together because we want to and I don’t think I will have to worry about him choosing someone else over me if I keep giving him girls. And I’ll wear a ring. And there will be lots of love. That sounds like a good plan.

Day 6: He Is In So Much Pain.

2008-09-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

I saw what dying looks like this morning. The frail skeleton unable to prove he is alive except for the unsteady breath that goes into his lungs and back out again. It may be scary for some, for others tearful, and for the rest of us overpowering.

Doctor Ben and Florence agreed to take Adrie and myself out on their home visit. We all hopped in the Faith Alive van and flew across town to another community. Most people would call it impoverished but here everything looks the same no matter what part of the city you are in. We walked through the alleyway and into a small home where a young woman was tending to a toddler. She pointed to a small room connected to the living room and the doctors pulled out their supplies while Adrie and I entertained the little boy. I couldn’t see what was going on in the medical side of this visit so I spoke to the family members a little bit in my handful of Hausa phrases and hand motions before Florence called us over. It was too much to take in at once. A man was lying on the bed with his shirt pulled up and his pants taken off so his underwear was the only real clothing being worn. He was so thin I could see the outline of every bone in his body. If I had walked over and touched him it looked like he would crumble under the weight of a finger. Florence told us that he was HIV-positive on top of suffering from TB. He had just come home from a long stay in the hospital where the nurses had neglected him enough to allow bed sores to develop on his lower back. Two large patches of dead skin and bloody sores must be unbearable when you don’t have the strength to turn yourself. As the doctors cut off the raw skin then bandaged his wounds I wanted so badly to sit and hold his hand. I admire the fact that I am in no way qualified to be a doctor yet they still want to include me in their act of love by allowing me to be a presence to support this family. We were there about an hour and when they were done the man didn’t have enough strength to say anything, but I knew he was grateful not only for the free medical treatment but for the presence of people. We walked back to the van and headed to two other homes in different parts of Jos. Both patients had family members who met us outside the doors and denied service at their home because they feared their neighbors would realize they were housing someone who was HIV-positive. We went back to the Clinic exhausted.

The rest of the day as I worked sorting patient index cards and files I thought about what had happened in the morning. I was proud that something I would have normally found gross or disturbing instead allowed me to see love at one of its finest moments. But the thing has continually rolled around in my mind are the different reactions we saw from the three families. Who would ever deny their husband or sister or daughter medical treatment for fear of reputation? Kristin shared at dinner that her first home visit was to a family where the mother decided she took her thirteen-year-old daughter off the ARV drugs to die because she was too expensive to take care of. We don’t normally think these things in my community. The pain of suffering physically is horrible, especially those with HIV who are dying slowly. But how much more painful is it to know that you are a burden on your family because of something that has infected your body without your consent. How painful to realize that around the world people are scared of your condition and in many places are afraid to touch you. How painful to know that you will never live the life you had expected. I know it is painful for me to sit and watch, trying to figure out what I can do to help.

I wonder how much more painful it is for God.

Day 5: Give Your Heart A Song.

2008-09-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

My gluten-free diet hasn’t worked as well as I had hoped over here simply because our cook Baba insists on making American meals part of the time. I would take coos-coos over macaroni any day. Unfortunately that means my stomach has suffered from the reintroduction to wheat products and I woke up feeling nasty sick. So I missed early morning Bible study but was able to stabilize myself for work at the Clinic at 8:45. (Just for the record I talked to Baba and he is going to make sure on wheat-filled days that I get something else to eat. I want a tummy transplant.)

The first few weeks at the Clinic Adrie and I are helping out in various areas where extra people are needed. Today she went to pediatrics and I got to go to the pharmacy. I spent the majority of my morning counting pills and taking stock while being able to talk to the amazing pharmacists there. Paige, Grace, and Matthew are all exceptional human beings and I had a lot of fun with them. After every task I completed one would walk over to give a big smile and pat on the back accompanied by a “Very good Cait!” Paige and I started up a conversation about life so it was neat to get to know someone new. (My favorite part is that she told me she is that she is “feeling close to getting married. He needs to move faster.”) The television was on the whole time (I guess counting pills can get a little boring if there is no one to talk to) and it was interesting to see how Americanized it was. They were interviewing a Nigerian rapper from Lagos who had made it big and was turning one of his mansions on the beach into an exclusive dance club for Africa’s rich and famous. Strange coming from a people who value community and good work over status and wealth.

We did some more odd jobs after lunch including putting together a new archive room, filing charts, organizing papers, and ended up back in the pharmacy. This time Innocent was there and he took an interest in where Adrie and I were from and what we were doing. He quickly dubbed us “Teacher Cait” and “Adrie Who Will Marry A Pastor”, which I still find pretty hysterical. As time went by the questions got tougher and the mood a little more intense. We spoke of the presidential election, the Church in America, and spiritual gifts--all of which we were criticized about. I never knew that all my opinions were wrong and ungodly but Innocent wanted to make sure we left the day understanding that the debate we never wanted to be a part of would end up his. I am not a debater. At all. So I ended up leaving the day feeling drained and attacked by a guy I hardly knew.

Luckily God knows what we need so I found a little time to talk to Him, journal my thoughts, and have a nice gluten-free dinner. Afterwards the trio was pretty out of it (Adrie and myself having just trying to defend our faith and Biana still worried about a task that hasn’t gotten done) so Biana grabbed a book and Adrie and I grabbed The Darjeeling Limited. Wes Anderson is a genuis. Every day by the end seems to have lasted the length of a week, which is a bittersweet blessing. I’m glad to be able to fall asleep to the sound of Nigerians singing outside my window.

Day 4: Praise The Lord...Alleluia!

2008-09-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

My first Nigerian church experience was an interesting one. We walked a few blocks (if you can call them blocks) to the United Baptist Church where Biana attends. It is a nicer remodeled building that is full of colorful headwraps, noisy babies, and a family of believers that knows how to praise the Lord. The structure of the service was similar to many I had attended back in the States and Biana told me that most Nigerian churches follow the same pattern. They opened with prayer and went straight into singing and dancing, which popped up at some other points during the service, with Hausa praise tunes, traditional Baptist hymns, and some more popular American church service songs. There were multiple times of prayer where the person at the pulpit would lift up to God any and every situation that came to mind. We had to walk forward to deliver our offering at the front of the chapel and visitors were asked to stand and introduce themselves so the congregation could acknowledge them. I was lucky enough to be one of those visitors. The pastor spoke for a good hour-and-a-half about the accounts of Moses leading the people in the wilderness and the importance of moving forward to wherever it is God calls you to go. It resonated well with the three Americans there who are trying their best to live out that reality. What made the service the most interesting though was that before the final prayer and blessing a large thunderhead broke above the city of Jos.

For those who don’t know, Nigerians hate the rain. When it rains in Jos the entire city stops...and for good reason. The heavens opened up and I experienced the most torrential downpour in my short twenty years. It rained so heavy and so fast that the streets became rivers and began washing trash, food, and whatever unlucky items were left outside to an undetermined destination. Because we had walked to church, like almost everyone else in the building, there was nothing else for us to do but sit and wait with the rest of the congregation. Dr. Chris and his family were in the balcony so I got to meet his three young children and talk to his wife Mercy about what life is like back home. They all asked about Brother Norm so I let them have an update on my uncle. After a half-hour or so the rain had let up a little and the flood was starting to disappear so Dr. Chris drove us home. I still think it would have been fun to fight against the current in our skirts and sandals.

Later in the afternoon I was able to go to Support Group at the Clinic, a time where brothers and sisters who have been diagnosed with HIV enjoy communal worship and encourage each other. Again I was asked to come forward, introduce myself, and say a few words. Luckily I do pretty well in front of a large audience of strangers and was glad so many introduced themselves to me later. Biana had to catch up on e-mails and Adrie was sleeping so I enjoyed another first: being the one that everyone is staring at in a room. (And I thought I stuck out in Fresno...) More singing and dancing followed by a short devotional from a guy my age struggling with HIV. There aren’t too many things more sobering in life than hearing a fellow 20-year-old talk about the importance of God as his Father since both of his parents had died from the disease he is carrying. The next few minutes were supposed to be spent going over a little financial information which turned into an hour-long dispute in Hausa and broken English about farming and hiring and fertilizer. Needless to say I was completely lost but found it very interesting to see how these mild-mannered people can turn into shouting lunatics when it comes to any sort of debate.

Another wonderful dinner cooked by Baba and late-night discussion with John and Kristin reminded me how neat living here really is. Tonight’s topic revolved around cleaning habits and personal hygiene. It looks like the next few weeks will be Kristin and Adrie on team “No Need To Fold Your Clothes If You’ll Wear Them Again Soon” against John and Caitlin’s “Please Make Sure To Throw Away Your Nasty Rotting Garbage.” I am so glad they are here!

Day 3: Cait, Where Are You Going?

2008-09-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Clinic isn’t usually open on Saturday but we headed on over at 7:45 to get things opened and started for an interview process to take place. A grant was given to help children in the area whose families are affected by HIV get money for school. (Something most people don’t realize about Nigeria is that the public school system is far below normal standards and the only places worth getting an education are very pricy. It makes you appreciate free education a little bit more.) Adrie and I worked as the receptionist and secretary to allow the fifty students an interview with the Faith Alive panel to see if they qualify. We weren’t in with the rest of the staff so we tried our best to make small talk with the people in the waiting room and catch up on life with each other. After six hours of interviews, documentation, and storytelling they decided that most of the kids qualify for financial aid.

After heading back to the apartment for another nap (we are trying to work them out of our daily routine!) I was able to talk with Biana for a while in our living room. She shared some of the stories she heard today of children who had lost one or both parents to HIV and wanted so badly to go to school. They have a yearning for knowledge and understanding, something I think we sometimes lack in our world of high-speed internet and video games. Some of the children are already taking the drugs necessary to kill off the infection spreading in their own little bodies. It breaks my heart that the problem is so much bigger than can be fought off by a group of sacrificial doctors and nurses, by financial support from wealthy countries, or even by Bono making it known to a naive planet. Biana said many who know what she is doing thank her for having to courage to come over to Nigeria and work with these people. But what they don’t know, she told me, is how much I struggle against what looks like a hopeless situation, a system that has entangled so many in this world and is slowly killing a whole generation. I think too many write it off as a disease for homosexuals in San Francisco or poor people in Africa without taking into account the millions of lines leading directly into this one problem. What are we supposed to do? Where are we supposed to go to make this suffering end? All I know is that God has called me to come and love people over here. Touch the hand of a woman who prostitutes herself despite her condition in order to feed herself, hold a baby that has a 60% chance of getting diagnosed like her parents, and smile at my brothers and sisters who try so hard to hold on to hope. Adrie and I will only be here until December and what after that? Who knows. I am doing my best to live in the here and now and God is bringing up things inside me that I didn’t ever fully explore.

Luckily the day ended on a beautiful note since Dorothy, her sister, and her two-month old son came over to visit Auntie Biana. The baby’s name is Morning Star, which suits him well considering his favorite thing in the room was the light bulb over our heads. I got to hold him for a while, talk with the women about life in Nigeria, and sit with friends. I think that is the sort of thing that should give us all hope.

Day 2: I’m Sometimes Embarrassed To Say I’m From California.

2008-09-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to a rooster. It seemed a bit surreal but I secretly have always wanted to wake up at a farm and this seemed the closest thing so far. After thirty seconds or so I began to hear goats chatting, motorcycles working, and Nigerians singing as the morning hustle and bustle began. It was good to see our electricity was back on (it has been out the majority of the past two days) and I discovered that our bathroom actually has a lightbulb as I got ready for the day.

Adrie and I went to the Clinic early to enjoy devotions with Pastor Ben. He is an animated speaker but the Nigerian way is to sit quiet and attentive until he gives the command “Praise the Lord” in which everyone replies “Alleluia.” The Nigerian accent is still a bit difficult for me to understand but I got the gist of what he was saying about living in a way that is pleasing to God. Being surrounded by those suffering from HIV this had a fresh outlook on the plan God has given each and every one of us. After prayer I went to Team E with Dr. Kuno, the pediatrician, who graciously allowed me to sit in until lunchtime and experience his ministry. I ended up being bookkeeper/secretary at our lone table in the room and thought it was interesting to hear every person’s story. Many of the patients only spoke Hausa (which Dr. Kuno said he wanted to help me learn) but were willing to let the doctor translate for me to be involved. An added bonus was being able to hold the babies coming in for check-ups who, although I am a scary oweebo (white person), loved on me as much as I did on them. Dr. Kuno named me Cate for the remainder of my stay after trying for a while to pronounce the “tl” combination in my non-Nigerian name. Luckily I am always down for a new nickname.

After a tiring morning full of people we shared lunch with John and Kristin back at the apartment complex. This couple from Colorado is here for two months serving at the Clinic before joining the Peace Corps. At twenty-five they seem to have a lot of insight into life and remind me of my friends back home. Today’s mealtime discussion revolved around missions, the American culture, and materialism. (Again, they would fit in very well with my circle of friends!) We wondered out loud if we as white middle-class Americans could every fully become Nigerian in our lifestyle and mindset and, even more difficult, ever been seen that way to Nigerians. Sharing stories from our upbringings in different states across the US, along with the politics and media that is thrown at us we decided...no. We will always have a little American consumerism and need for independence in us rather than being able to enjoy simplicity and community like the people here. But John and Kristin believe they will be able to appreciate this new culture and bring as much as they can back into their own way of living in the United States. I hope to do the same. Along the same lines Biana shared that the most frustrating thing to her about Faith Alive are visitors. People come for a couple weeks at a time to learn more about AIDS, the ministry of the Clinic, and the Nigerian culture but end up doing more harm than help because of their American mindset. We are moved through giving of material possessions: food, clothes, money, we’ve all given to charity and that is a GOOD thing. But what isn’t good, Biana went on to say, is that the children in this neighborhood are given gifts from the visitors and now have the mindset that white means money. Americans see poor Nigerian children and hand them candy, take their pictures, and make sure they have a new toy to play with. Because of this children follow us around and hold our hands expecting something besides love and acceptance in return, something free they can eat or play with before we go home.

Frustrating. But important to wrestle with no matter where you are.

I’m glad God is giving me things to start chewing on now. I know they won’t be solved at the end of this trip, or when I get home, or when I’m forty and raising children. But I do know that God has brought me here to learn and serve and love. And that’s what I plan to do to the best of my ability.

Day 1: You’re Welcome!

2008-09-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

I finally made it. After months of scheduling, saving, packing, and praying I am here in Jos realizing that the adventure I have been waiting for has just begun. I came without much prior knowledge of what I am doing here but a full understanding that this is where God wants me to be. And so it begins...

Adrie and I stepped off the plane into a sweaty Abjua morning at 4:45 and were quickly greeted by a man holding a sign with our names. He placed us at the beginning of an already-formed line under the “Diplomat” passport section and I wondered if he actually knew who we were. The two men behind the glass looked at us like we were crazy (obviously two girls in jeans and t-shirts are not government material in this society) but our sign-holding friend got us through after a quick conversation in Hausa. Unfortunately our bags were not so timely and I stood by the carousel watching the same bags go around for a good thirty minutes before ours showed up. They looked a little beaten down but they made it from San Francisco without getting lost along the way. Biana and Dr. Chris met us in the lobby and I can’t say I have ever been so glad to pack my suitcases into a car and start a three-hour drive.

The drive was long and quiet, myself and our driver Gody being the only ones awake, but it gave me the chance to see an entirely new world pass by. Driving is a bit different here and I was glad to know I will never be expected to get behind a wheel in the next three months. I have never heard people utilize the car horn as much as Nigerians. You honk the horn as a reminder to other drivers of your existence, and you need to remind them because much of the time you are driving on the dirt shoulder, stradling the center line (which disappears for miles at a time), or on the wrong side of the road. Most of the vehicles are motorbikes or giant four-wheelers and people constantly dart across the highway so every driver is alert and completely free of road rage. All in all it wasn’t a scary drive, just one that involves more swerving than Americans are used to.

Driving further inland from Abuja to Jos I concluded Nigeria is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It beats out the colors of the Painted Desert, sunsets over the Pacific, and seasons in Yosemite. Those are all breathtaking scenes, but Nigeria holds something extra over all of those. The valleys are green and dotted with cornfields, the jungle foliage is climbing and fruitful, and the hills display boulders stacked on top of each other amid colorful wildflowers. Against this magnificent backdrop are thatched-roofed huts, winding dirt roads, and odd-looking birds and beasts. There are also a surprising number of goats. But the most beautiful thing about Nigeria is its people.

When I toured the Faith Alive Clinic, my home for the next few weeks, I discovered the proper greeting is “You’re welcome.” Nigerians don’t say it like I do as a programmed response to a “Thank you” but as a way to let a person know that they are a brother or sister who is welcome into their country, their home, and their life. All day I was given this blessing from a person who would clasp my fingers and give a big white smile from a beaming black face looking me directly in the eye. And I know I am welcomed.