It was a little more difficult to get out of bed this morning since I was awake for part of the night trying to drown out the noise of a couple arguing loudly in the field next door (no one seems to do any disagreeing quietly here). I hope they woke up this morning ready for a new day.
We walked to the Clinic in time for morning devotions led by Pastor Ben, which turned out to be a little uneasy. I am slowly discovering that the spirituality of Jos is not what I had planned for, and, unfortunately, does not resonate with my theology some of the time. Today’s talk was from Acts where King Herod (one of them) did not listen to God and was consumed by worms. The story always grossly amused me when I was in junior high, but hearing it from an adult perspective is different. Ben spoke of how Herod, like many people today, did not listen to God so he “got slapped”, got what he deserved for being a sinner. He went on to compare Herod’s disobedience with prostitution, greediness, and the Nigerian government, all things this community struggles with. Giving this message to spell out God’s wrath and judgment on sinners without any mention of redemption did not sit well with me. At all. John and Kristin all always good to debrief with so we had a meaningful lunch discussion. We decided that there is a place for God’s anger and disappointment with humanity but that it is much more important to discover how much God loves us despite our shortcomings. God’s love is so much more powerful that anything else we can describe, and consequently is what so many people are missing and seeking in their lives. We want to be able to live out God’s love and grace instead of dwelling on the Lord’s anger with what people do that is wrong. John said he will now picture a giant hand coming down from Heaven to smack someone across the face whenever he hears that story.
There is an underlying tone of guilt and condemnation here that I really can’t seem to understand. Working with people with so little hope left, individuals who know pain and suffering, I can’t justify continuously bringing up the topic of sin with so little room for grace. Maybe that is one of the reasons God brought me here...
We headed back to the Clinic where I finished our alphabetizing project (Hallelujah!) and got to spend more time in the pharmacy. There is something very refreshing about getting to change tasks every so often--I feel like I know the inner workings of Faith Alive now! Conversations are getting more personal with the people I work with (“Cait are you married yet? What is your University like? Who are you voting for in your presidential election?), which is such a blessing. These people enjoy discovering new things and sharing what they know.
Dinner was a little quieter after a day with so much thinking and discussion. I finished the Kite Runner, one the most fabulous stories I have had the pleasure of reading, and started The White Man’s Burden: Why The West’s Efforts To Aid The Rest Have Done So Much Ill And So Little Good. The author did in-depth research on poverty around the world, failed attempts to squelch it, and tries to bring up new ways of looking at the problems of malnutrition, diseases, and corruption. It is one that takes a while to chew on but gives me a more political perspective of what I am living in the midst of. Hopefully Bono will be up for a book discussion when I’m done.
2 comments:
having a hard time with your third paragraph. sounds tough. I'm praying.
I understand your difficulty with what they believe, but I do think that you should keep pressing on with love. That's how Jesus' message gets through, so I'll be praying for you. And I really do hope you get to meet Bono one day, that would just be fabulous.
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