I wasn’t sure how the morning would look but things started out well. I woke up to my alarm, had a good breakfast, put on a cute outfit, and even decided to wear my hair down. Things felt right as Adrie and I walked out of the flat but I have grown to learn that things change in a minute when life gets going. The lady on the corner who sells corn, Frances, brought her screaming first grader up to me as we walked past and asked if I could make sure she got to school ok. Apparently the two of them were having a rough morning and her daughter sobbed the entire walk to primary school at the church across from Faith Alive. When Adrie and I got upstairs for staff meeting we were both a little on edge. Dr. Chris told everyone that they needed to head out to department meetings and, as Adrie walked to the pharmacy, I felt it all rising inside of me. I found a good quiet spot on the second floor to sit and cry.
I have grown to realize I don’t share my negative feelings well with others, which is funny since I was such a melancholy child. Sitting in the hallway by myself I wiped my tears and talked to God for a bit before wandering back upstairs. Luckily Biana spotted me first and pulled me into her office where I was able to talk things through with her and Adrie. It felt good to put into words all the things running through my head. I decided a morning in the flat would give me some room to breathe so I finished writing my article for Fresno First, watched a bit of Anchorman with Adrie, and wandered down for lunch.
Right after lunch Greg took me back to Faith Alive where I sat outside of the longest meeting known to man, checking e-mails and talking with Felicia. Biana had asked me to show her my article once it was written but I realized soon after the doctors walked out of her office that she was having as crazy of a day as I was. I made a couple of phone calls, not nearly as weepy today, and was glad to see that God has already started making peace out of potentially turbulent situations. It is impossible for things to stay the same when you are in another country--life keeps going and God keeps moving people to his will! Shola wandered up to say hello and ended up staying for a good hour with my laptop looking through the past few years of my life on iphoto and choosing songs to download from itunes. It definitely cheered me up, though he had no idea I was in a distressed state.
The end of the workday came almost two hours later than normal and the three of us dragged home for dinner. Amos had asked if he could come over and bring us some barbequed Nigerian fish, which Biana respectfully agreed to. None of us were in high spirits but made sure to make the most of our meal with Amos, his wife, and his daughter. The fish was pretty tasty--instead of normal “River Fish” this was tilapia--and the Nigerians voluntarily ate the heads. We washed up quickly after they left and headed upstairs to get comfortable.
Not long after we got back to the flat we heard a knock at the door and were greeted by Pastor Ben, Morning Star and, after a few minutes, Doris. We sat in the living room and chatted for a bit and Ben sensed something was up. He asked me straight out how I was doing and I told him quite honestly that I was not doing well. As any good pastor would he stood up to address us, but as any good friend would he did not preach at us but instead shared his thoughts on life. He told us that it seems to be the hardest points in his life where God speaks the loudest and that we all must endure trials to make anything work. Life does not work without conflict and questioning, he said, because that would make us believe we have all the answers. Instead, God uses these times to remind us that we need to trust in him because only he knows what is best for our lives. It was very encouraging, and definitely something I needed to hear at this point in my journey. As more and more yawning appeared around the room Ben decided it was time to go. He prayed over each of us, we gave Doris and Morning Star hugs goodnight, and went to bed feeling less in control but much more at peace.
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